One of my friends died a few months back, and her daughter came to stay a weekend with me. She confided in me about alot of things that were going on at her grandmothers, and that she wanted to come and live with me. I don't have any rights here, but she is truly unhappy and missing her mom. I know there is really nothing I can do about the situation, but I am heart broke for her. She is talented, beautiful, and in trouble. Any suggestions?
2006-11-13 04:32:29 · 6 answers · asked by Question101 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
One of my friends died a few months back, and her daughter came to stay a weekend with me. She confided in me about alot of things that were going on at her grandmothers, and that she wanted to come and live with me. I don't have any rights here, but she is truly unhappy and missing her mom. I know there is really nothing I can do about the situation, but I am heart broke for her. She is talented, beautiful, and in trouble. Any suggestions?
In Response, it is not physical abuse. She juust feels like an outsider, nobody makes her get up for school, she is failing all her classes. She has the worst role model living there with them, I could go on and on...
2006-11-13 04:49:11 · update #1
You are so sweet to be there for this hurting, troubled girl. I should know: I lost my mother when I was 12 years old, and an older woman (in fact several older people) became my friends and mentors. I really needed them as a safety net to vent to.
Just continue to be there for this girl. The most important thing you can do is listen to her, accept her as she is, and talk to her. Don't impose your own opinions (or biases) but like a good teacher, ask leading questions and help her come to her own conclusions. Don't try to fix her; just let her talk until she's found her own solutions.
As for her living situation, it's tough. I'm not sure what "things" you mean, but if she's being abused at all, it's up to you as a discerning adult to call Child Protective Services. If you are on any terms at all with her grandmother, maybe a phone call or visit might make a difference.
I'd say let her come over to your house to visit or maybe spend the night every so often, if you (and your family) are comfortable with that. Often just having a place to escape to makes all the difference in the world. Again, I should know. My life at home with just my dad was stressful at times, because we were both grieving and were off in our own worlds, so I turned to the church and to school. People were there to help me, and for a few hours I could forget my situation at home.
When I did go home, I'd feel refreshed for having gotten out of the house and having been around nice, understanding people. That's what this girl needs from you... just being there and letting her hang out and listen and talk as needed.
Thank you for being there for this young girl, because I was her at one time. Your compassion and empathy mean so much.
Cheers, K
2006-11-13 04:41:00 · answer #1 · answered by Kate 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Probably nothing about her living situation but you can be there for her. Make sure she knows how to get to you when she needs like all your phone numbers and email etc. Invite her for special things she may not get at grandmas. Unfortunately getting her to live with you may not be an option so make sure you keep in touch. When my Mom died one of her friends was always there for me and it helped sooo much to have her to confide in. She answered all those Mom questions I didnt want to ask Dad.
2006-11-13 04:41:51 · answer #2 · answered by elaeblue 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-22 00:32:59 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If there is actual abuse in that house and the girl told you, you have an obligation to report it to the authorities. Then you can tell them that you have a relationship with the girl because of your friendship with her mother and would like to volunteer to be a foster parent if the child is taken from the home.
You can do something. :o)
Best Wishes,
Sue
2006-11-13 04:37:03 · answer #4 · answered by newbiegranny 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you want her to live with you? If you do, then have a chat with the grandparents - you may find they will be receptive. Don't forget, they assumed when their own children flew the nest they could rest easy.
I have to say that although a single man, if any of my siblings with children passed away I would not think twice about saying "yes" if any of them wanted to live with me.
2006-11-13 04:38:09 · answer #5 · answered by steven b 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs some body to trust and feel good with I really think you should talk to her grand parents and tell them what's going on and hope they can help you out
2006-11-13 04:47:14 · answer #6 · answered by princesa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋