How do you forgive treachery and COMPLETE selfishness?

Question

I have 2 demons I'd like to forgive, but I don't know how.
One is my ex-bff whom I thought we would actually be bff, but she suddenly stopped talking to me and didn't give me a clue as to why. There was nothing I wouldn't do for her (within reason), and she did stuff for me, just not as much. She invited me to hang out with her and do stuff all the time, and she was a good best friend. I found out that she had been poisoning others against me behind my back, she was never fond of me to begin with, was annoyed when I called her my best friend, and she was using me. I'd like to forgive her, but I don't know how to forgive treachery.

The other demon is my dad's g/f. She is THE MOST SELFISH person I have EVER met! She expects things to be done all for her or her way, and never lets my dad or ANYBODY else have their say. She doesn't do anything for herself, her daddy does everything for her and lives across the street from her, she's VERY wasteful, and...

she's always picking fights with my dad and giving him attitude, and she always has to have the last say in arguments, and she won't make the effort to spend time with my dad, my brother and me, but she expects him to do chores and drop everything and do stuff for her and spend time with her and her sons. My dad can't do that as he has other important obligations to take care of, and can't afford to be her b/f. And she complains about everything and is VERY picky about everything. And my dad KNOWS I don't like her, but I'm expected to be nice to her, but it'ws hard to be nice to someone who treats my dad like hell, and he doesn't paint a pretty picture enough to give me a reason to. She wants to move in together, but I say "Over my dead body" and she wants to marry my dad. I'll move away if that happens. He broke up with her countless times since July, but always forgives her even though he knows it's another headache waiting to happen. Any ideas on how I can forgive these 2 demons?

Answer 1

I don't know if you're a religious person, but since your question is about forgiveness, I'll answer it from a Christian perspective; but please understand that you don't have to be religious in order to benefit from the wisdom of the Bible. I do not consider myself to be Christian, but I still use many things I read in the Bible to help me through challenges of the spirit such as the one you have describe.

First of all, we should ALWAYS forgive others. Jesus said to forgive people seventy times seven times, which comes out to be 490 times. If you have to forgive someone more times than that, they are probably so evil that it's not going to matter whether you forgive them or not; at that point your best best would bwe to just get the hell away from them! LOL

But I think what he meant was to forgive as much as you possibly can. But you sound very young to me- it sounds like there's not a whole lot you can do OTHER than forgive; sadly, we are basically powerless in our youth to change the behavior of others, so you'd better forgive wholeheartedly and do it RIGHT. The following information is lengthy, but it will help you learn all you need to know about forgiveneness:

- This is not an optional action on our part, but rather it is imperative to our own well being that we forgive others.
- Most Christians understand that this is not always an easy task.
- For some, there have been people in their lives which have wronged them severly.

- Though it may be a process, and it may not happen instantaneously, we must be willing to take the first steps toward forgiving others.
- As long as we continue to harbor bitterness in our hearts toward someone else, we allow that individual to have a controlling factor in our lives.
- There are a number of occasions where unforgiving Christians lose their relationship with God because of what someone else had done to them in the church.

- There was once a man who lost his relationship not only with God, but also his children and people in the church because of his bitterness toward others. He basically went around feeling sorry for himself all the time.
- To forgive means to "send away". In other words, to not hang on to the wrong doing.

- When you forgive someone, it means that you are not holding that sin against that person.
- Therefore, you're not focused on how you can get back at that person.
- You're not praying that their boat will sink or that their plane will crash.
- As a matter of fact, you actually begin to pray for their salvation and deliverance.

- Understand that when you forgive someone, it doesn't mean that you have to re-establish a relationship with that person.
- It may, by God's will, lead to that and that's great if that's what God desires.
- In the verse, there's no mention that you should stop praying and go find that person to let them know that you forgive them.
- Release the thought of anger and bitterness and hurt unto God.

- Forgiveness does not mean, by the way, to forget.
- Trying to forget is merely an attempt to hide something.
- When you hide something, someone will eventually find it.
- We're are to deal with he hurt and send it away.

- Jesus didn't just preach this. He lived this.

(Luke 23:33-34 NKJV) And when they had come to the place called Calvary, there they crucified Him, and the criminals, one on the right hand and the other on the left.Then Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do." And they divided His garments and cast lots.

FORGIVING OTHERS HELPS US TO UNDERSTAND AND RECEIVE FORGIVENESS

(Mat 6:14-15 NKJV) "For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."

- It seems as if God's ability to forgive us is contingent upon our ability to forgive others. That's not exactly what this scripture is saying.
- Understand that the scripture is quite clear from 1 John 1:9.

(1 John 1:9 NKJV) If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

- There are no contingencies listed here.
- We merely see that confession of sin brings about forgiveness which leads to cleansing.
- Secondly, once we have experienced the forgiveness of God, there's an expectation that we will in turn forgive others.

(Mat 18:21-22 NKJV) Then Peter came to Him and said, "Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?" Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven."

- Thirdly, God is not looking at our ability to forgive, but rather our willingness to forgive.
- God will meet us at that point of willingness.
- When we will to do something, we're not always able to perform it.
- However, when God wills to do something, He is always able to perform it.

- The reason for bringing this up is that some people are allowing the devil to beat them up and make them think they're not forgiven because of not being able to completely forgive someone.
- The devil's saying, "You're not forgiven because you're still mad at so and so."
- "Yes, I am mad, but as the Spirit leads I am dealing with it in obedience to God's Word."
- Usually the enemy is bringing up those old hurts anyway.

HOW TO FORGIVE THOSE WHO HAVE SINNED AGAINST US

- Meditate daily on what Christ went through in order to forgive you.

(Heb 12:3-4 NKJV) For consider Him who endured such hostility from sinners against Himself, lest you become weary and discouraged in your souls.You have not yet resisted to bloodshed, striving against sin.

- Examine your heart daily with all honesty to determine whether or not you have contention in your heart toward someone.
- Forgive quickly.
- Verbalize your forgiveness to God in prayer.
- Focus on resolutions, refusing to fight with any person in your mind and heart.

I hope this was helpful. Good luck.

Answer 2

This is actually pretty easy...
There is no way to forgive when you have been so completely wronged without praying about it everyday until you get some relief.
Also, forgiveness does not equal forget(ness).
Don't set yourself up to be hurt by these people again. Just be civil an move on.
Your Daddy will figure it out.

Answer 3

dont bother
wait for your soul to cool, it will take years but hell I have been waiting too. Write it all out and think about how mean they are, but how they are no worth your hate. Think of it like this: the more you spend time worrying and hating them, the more of your life you waste on trash. Just wait it out, wounds heal with time. I know, I have been waiting nearly 5 years to forgive the b.astards who messed my life up.

():-D
shadowgirl

Answer 4

People can affect you only up to the extent that you allow them to. Why should you allow these type of people to mess up your life? Ignore them and go on with your plans of achieving your dreams. Smile at them and don't llow them to make you mad or irritated. When they will see that their behavior does not affect you, they will be the ones, dying of anger and rage.

Answer 5

You just DO it. Say it outloud. Doesn't have to be to them, but you can say OK I forgive them. Then move forward and live your own life in happiness, never to worry about them again. Forgiving will give YOU freedom.......it won't fix them, but that's not your problem.

Answer 6

You just don't..