HELP im so depressed!!!!?

Question

im really depressed iv got an 8 mnth old daughter and i live with my fiance lately our relationship is really bad because of me and my deporession. i hate myself and im also so fat and cnt lose weight i hav really bad stretch marks n my bf cnt possibly still fancy me. i cant take much more i cant sleep iv been to the doctors and hav tablets and hav been reffered to a pshciatric nurse but inthe mean time wot can i do 2 stop crying and be happy.

Answer 1

It appears that you've got post natal depression....Left untreated, it just gets worse and worse.

Don't be too hard on yourself......practically every woman, post pregnancy gets the blues due to hormones running rampant.

Basically your reacting....unconsciously, to a massive change in your life...mainly..being a mother and having the responsibility of another person's life in your hands.
It's no easy task...and you should give yourself a pat on the back every day.

I remember after the birth of my daughter (and she is 14 now) I went from this slim, busty woman to a flat boobed, baggy bellied moody so and so.
Yes I felt down...Still do when I think of the lovely boobs I had and lost haha....But seriously, most people's bodies change and not always for the best.
I bet your partner still loves you to bits no matter how bad you feel about yourself....You've given him a beautiful baby daughter and in time, with some counselling or positive thinking..the old you will be back and be able to enjoy all the things you did before.

She's still in there somewhere.......and she'll be back. Just dont give up on yourself...You're doing great.

Answer 2

Oh you poor, poor lady. It could not be worse. You are doing all the right things to help yourself, having seen your doctor and got some medication. It sounds like post natal depression. I would say a few things to you; it takes about two years for your body to recover from having a baby. Don't be too hard on yourself, you figure has changed since giving birth, that's all. Stretch marks are there for the long term, but you can use something like Bio oil to help minimize them. you can get this in a pharmacy. As for the weight, well, accept it for the time being. Treat yourself to a couple of nice outfits, but buy them a size bigger than you need, so they hang a little on you. that gives the illusion of being slimmer. Make the best of what you have. If you are only going to the shops with the baby, put on the make up, the full works, and some perfume. Get the hair done, even if you don't feel like it. Have you close family or good friends? Take up any offers of help or babysitting; and go out twice a week; once for yourself, even if it's only to window shop; and once as a couple.Talk to your boyfriend, tell him you are full of despair. Don't make a moan out of it, just tell it straight; tell him you need his love and support to get through this. The crying is terrible, you must be very low. Let the tears flow. it's ok. you've been through a life-changing event - you made a human being! Of course your life has turned upside down. It takes about 14 weeks for the anti depressants to kick in properly, so there are no miracle cures. But I promise you it will start to improve soon. Nothing bad lasts forever. Life comes in cycles, and you are probably at the lowest point of this cycle. Keep in touch with that doctor; I wish you well.

Answer 3

It sounds as if you may be suffering from postpartum depression. You really need to take your meds and meet with the pyschiatric nurse, but you also need to take care of yourself. I know how hard it is to take care of a baby (I've had two), and it's even harder when your s.o. doesn't understand how you're feeling or help out. See if you can arrange for someone to look after the baby (preferably your fiance as that's his job as well as yours and he'd better not ever think of it as "babysitting"), and go do something relaxing with friends like take a long walk or go to a spa or whatever makes you feel relaxed. This should not be a one-off event, but a regular occurrence, at least every two weeks. Try writing in a journal; sometimes putting your feelings into words helps you to purge them.

Losing weight is hard; I know, I've been struggling with that since the birth of my second child. But try to get more exercise and commit to eating healthfully. That could help get you on the right track and may even contribute to improving your state of mind. The stretch marks will fade over time, although they never go away. So try to change your attitude toward them. They are badges of honor, permanent reminders that you have done one of the most important things in the world: brought a child into the world! You owe it to your daughter to start loving yourself again. Remind yourself every day that you are a beautiful, worthwhile person. Stand tall and be proud of yourself for all your accomplishments, and don't stress on the outward appearance thing. Be strong!

Answer 4

oh honey. I sooooo feel for you and I have been there!!! I remember going in the office when I had my young baby and I would close the door and I would type letters to no-one and just cry about how miserable I was.... overweight, stretch marks, crying baby.. arguing with my husband, financial problems... you name it. I know that you feel complete dispair. I know that you love your baby but that it's also the hardest thing you have ever done. I know that loosing weight is extrememly difficult and I know how it feels to look in the mirror and wonder where it all went wrong.

What I can tell you is ... there really is a brighter better day waiting for. ****THIS TOO SHALL PASS*** you will experience joy and laughter and happiness again. you will !!! don't give up hope. Your child will grow older and it will get easier... you will find ways to be more active and this will help with weight loss. Dont be too hard on yourself. More women experience what you are going through than you even know.

My daughter is 7 years old now. She is very easy to care for now, I managed to take some.. not all.. of the weight off, but I definately feel better about myself now. You will reach this place too, and no.. you don't have to wait for seven years. You will... you just will... you will rise above all of this and see that you are not alone. soooooo many women feel this way- every single day.

Try praying. Try positive thought. Try looking forward to things and create things to look forward too.

I promise there is a brighter day waiting for you. I know you can find that light inside of you and go on.

I know you can.

God bless and good luck.

Answer 5

Depression is the worst. What helped me was getting plenty of rest. Since you can't sleep try a sleeping pill to help you sleep. Also get out of the house!!! Get some fresh air and a nice brisk walk to get your juices flowing again. Childbirth will take so much out of you!!! It'll be a year after birth before you feel "normal" again. Also if your doctors offer group therapy, TAKE IT. It helped so much!

Pamper yourself completely for one day. A long bubble bath with your favorite scents and lotion, candles and calming music. If possible get the fiance to keep the baby while you go get your hair fixed, a manicure and a pedicure. When you look good, you'll FEEL good.

Give it a try. I'll pray for you too!!! You don't want to be feeling this way and wind up missing out on your baby's firsts.

Lastly, prayer works. Read 2nd Corinthians 1: 3 - 7.

Answer 6

well you recently had a baby
it's hard to lose the weight after that. I think you need to surround yourself with freinds who love you and get on a program of some sort.

I'm really skinny and i don't diet or excercise so i can't say it's going to be easy to shed the weight but try to take your baby for long walk sand join a gym if you can. You could take up dancing...my girlfriend found that salsa was really good for losing weight.

The foods you eat can make you depressed. Most people eat chocolate to make them happier.. but the aftereffect when it's all gone is that you end up depressed so try to go for more fruits and veggies and lay off the candy if you can. I now it won't be easy but try your best and please do not become anorexic or something like that ok?

I think your bf loves (and definitely fancies you) you cuz he's stuck by you and is genuinely concerned about your depression. Talk to him, take your meds and talk to your counsellor if you have one.
Best of luck girl and stay blessed.

And the best way to try to lose wight is to hide your scale. When you keep measuring yourself everyday...that's when you think"Oh my God it's not working ' and panic and most probably decide to stop with the program you're on. After a few weeks then you can weigh yourself. Don't do it everyday...(that's how I managed to gaing ten pounds when i decided i was going to gain weight)

Answer 7

I'm sure going to see a psychiatric nurse will really help you. It doesn't take long before you're seen. Keep up with the medication as it does take time to get into your system (sometimes a month). In the mean time, talk to others who suffer from depression even if it isn't related to child birth. There's a good website to go on. The website is www.crazyboards.org - I often go on it. Talk to friends/family. Weather permitting go for a short walk (30mins or so).

You also sound as if you have self esteem issues. There's another website that is good - www.selfesteem4women.com - Give these websites atry or failing that feel free to email me at [e-mail]

Answer 8

Hi,

About your depression, you'd better to see a councellor or a psychist for this, or even your close friend, having someone to share your emotion is crtitical at this stage.

You may try some ways to relax yourself, go to the gym, yoga, taichi. Having picnic, bringing your baby should be ok, fresh air is good for everyone. Dont use tablets for this, your case can only be solved in psychological way.

I know after having a baby, women tend to consume foods more than normal, you may buy some diet foods, if they are not tasty enough, try weight loss tea, easy to find on ebay, they are quite helpful but the best way is doing exercise at least 1 hour a day.

To sum up, just go to see someone to share your feeling, relax yourself, find some outdoor activities, everything will be fine ;) Best wishes!

Answer 9

First, accept how you look. Second, work out a plan to get back in shape. Three, don't read into your bf's words and looks too much. Four, don't wait for things to shape up, you have to make it shape up. Take control of the situation and work towards making it better. The further it slips the more tougher it will be to come out of it. Get a grip, tell yourself you can do it and march forward. I gave birth to my baby 4 months back. I have loads of stretch marks. So what? It's beautiful, your baby gave them to you. You are a mother and you've had the previlage to bear a child. When you are toned and your excess weight is gone, stretch marks won't matter to you or to anyone. Taking care of yourself sends positive messages to people you love and want. Just do it!

Answer 10

it sounds like you have decided your boyfriend doesn't fancy you anymore! Or did he actually say that. You need to be as open as possible with him about how bad you're feeling. Try and participate in activities and get on with the necessary things in life. try walking every day. It will lift your mood and help you sleep. If you want to try homeopathy, then get the Bachs Rescue remedy. I have depression too and I have become very overweight too and can't lose it. I know it can be despairing at times. Try and note what is positive in your life. Maybe talk to a professional as well. A nutritional diet helps depression too. Good luck. Will be thinking of you. Take it easy on yourself.