Do teenagers grow into common sense or is it something they either have or they don't?

Question

My 14 y/o stepdaughter is very bright, does well in school but, when it comes to using common sense, she's a bit of a dink (I don't tell her that, it's just my way of describing). I could actually see her holding a glass of water and turning that wrist over to look at her watch and spilling the water on the ground. Is common sense inherit or learned? What can I do to help her gain some common sense without making her feel bad about herself.

Answer 1

Common sense is not very common... Teenagers by nature are rather impulsive and have a feeling of indestructiblitiy.. Look back to when you were a teenager you felt it.. I know I did...

Over time as your stepdaughter matures she will settle into a less impulsive frame of mind... SHe will think before her actions more and will appear to gain common sense, when in reality she will gain maturity and experience..

Don't worry too much she willl outgrow the absent-minded stage...

My daughter who is now 19 used to come into my room to talk to me she would lean against the wall next to the door and talk for 5 minutes to an hour or more, then stand up take one step away from the wall she was leaning on turn 180 degrees and walk directly into the wall like it was surprisingly built in the milisecond it took to take the step and turn... She did eventually grow out of it...

My son now 17... used to do the drink and watch bit... We used to tease him a bit and ask what time it was periodically just to see if he would do it... Yup coke, pepsi, water, juice, milk (name a drink) he has poured it down the front of himself checking the time..

The best I have ever come up with as to why teens are a bit absent minded is they have 15 things on thier minds at all times.. They are only looking at the big picture so they miss the small details like a wall that has been there since the house was built in 1890 and a drink in thier hand....

Don't get upset or angry, help your child find the humor in thier absentmindedness laugh with them when they have an airhead moment and allow them to laugh with you when you have your airhead moments... I am notorious for forgetting where my glasses are... I will spend hours looking around the house for them only to find them sitting on top of my head... I am also notorious for losing my coffee.. I will have a cup of coffee I am drinling, I will think "I am gonna watch the news" when I arrive at the couch I have somehow misplaced my coffee... I know I have only been in the kitchen then the diningroom then the familyroom but even retracing my steps it can take an hour to find the coffee... I only find the original coffee after I have given up and gotten another cup... LOL

We are all a bit absentminded, ditsy, or dinks sometimes teach her to laugh it off and move on she will become less dink-like as she gets a bit older and learns to prioritize her thoughts...

Now you will have to excuse me I know I have a cup of coffee around here somewhere, if only I could find my glasses I know I could see it to find it and I need to ask my son the time... :)

Answer 2

I believe that common sense is one of those things we learn over time. Certain things will be taught to us by those around us, and other things we have to learn on our own through life experiences. I once had a teacher when I was in school tell me I was very intelligent, just not too smart all the time. Meaning, my common sense was a little off at times. But it happens. And nobody is perfect.

Answer 3

Most people are born with some assembelance of common sense, such as feeling the heat radiate from a furnace and just knowing not to touch it. Other kids need to learn some common sense wich comes with self awareness. Most of the time the behavior you described is due in part to not paying attention to ones self or surroundings, they must learn to stop and think about what is happening around them and with them. Some kids take alot longer to learn this than others and sorry to say some people never get it. To develope her self awareness she needs to be constantly made aware that her mistakes, goofups, laxness will be HER responsibilty to correct and or fix. When they start understanding that they alone will have to fix their own messes they tend to become more aware of ways to avoid the misaps in the first place.
Good luck its sounds terribly frustrating glad my son is grown now LOL

Answer 4

Well, some people are just like that. My whole family is smart and my sis (the brightest of us all) is what we call "time challenged" She will say today about something that happened yesterday or she might say "last night I will..." or next week when she means tommorow, its quite funny, she is 16 too! Anyhow, getting back on topic and to your question, it is really hard to answer. She may grow out of it or it may get better but she may always be the absent minded proffeeser (or dink) of the family, but you and her will learn to laugh. Meanwhile, if you ever see a disaester waiting to happen or her doing something silly, just shout "Stop and think!"

Answer 5

Common sence is kinda learned, but for the most part she should have a little bit. Kids that age arent really concerned with much, even though she is 14, she's still a baby. That's why she has parents! lol But honestly, some people are 100% booksmart and have almost no common sence, just try teaching her and being patient with her, but most of all be patient, trust me, Im 20 years old, and I have made plenty of mistakes, stand by her and you'll get through it.

Answer 6

It is both learned and inherited. You inherit a certain amount from the parents and other things a body has to find out the hard way(from expirience). But I guess there has got to be a few out there who never learn.

Answer 7

Be sure not to reward her "dinkiness". I know several "dumb blondes" who are quite intelligent, but play the part because that is what the people around them expected of them growing up. At 14 it's possible that the apparent lack of common sense is an intentional attention-getting device.

Answer 8

Scientists have proven that teenagers lack certain intuitions that they get after they are grown. Watch her carefully because, as we all know; teens can make some disastrous and long lasting mistakes.

Answer 9

kind of both, but more inherited...we say (quietly) thank god she is beautiful around my niece all the time. she actually has done the water / watch thing before (at the age of 9)

Answer 10

sit down and have a talk with her mother 2 daughter,and if u already have a good relationship it wont hurt her bcuz she will know its out of love.goodluck!