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i broke up with my boyfriend today. He was taking me for advantage and treating me awfully. I just couldnt handle it anymore as i have a son to be taking care of and on top of other issues its all too much. I now feel so awful extremely tearful, all though i was rapidly falling out of love - it just wasnt working. I wish there was a way i didnt feel this horrible inside. its really aching. is there anything i can do to stop the pain?

2006-11-13 03:00:13 · 23 answers · asked by happyglitterthatrocks 1 in Family & Relationships Other - Family & Relationships

its hurting so much is there anyway to stop the ache?

2006-11-13 03:02:36 · update #1

my email address is happyglitterthatrocks@yahoo.co.uk. if anyone could help me. thanks.

2006-11-13 03:40:56 · update #2

23 answers

Hey Sweetie...

So sorry to hear your hurting.. I know exactly how you feel hun and it's the worse pain in the world... Maybe a big long hug off your son will make you feel a little bit better...

The pain will ware off, it just takes time... Cry if you need to cry, the more you let it out the better... Take Care hun and I hope you feel better soon xxx

2006-11-13 03:27:35 · answer #1 · answered by me_me 1 · 1 1

You don't need another person for a relationship, nobody needs anybody if they are just recovering from being hurt, the best thing you can do is everytime you start to miss him, think of all the negative feelings you ever were made to feel, write down a list of all the bad things and post them by your pc, look at them often. Remind yourself of the unhappy times and think how much better off you will be when you finally rebuild your life and find someone that accepts you for who you really are and watch the film phenomenom, because I am guessiong the guy never took time to find out what your chairs are!!

2006-11-13 03:22:38 · answer #2 · answered by Girl of Spirit 2 · 0 0

The breakup of a relationship, even if it was your choice, always feels bad for a while. What you describe sounds more severe. Is it possible that you have a problem with being codependent? Do you feel inside like you need a man around to complete you?

What you need to do is look deep inside and ask yourself WHY you feel this way, after breaking up with a man you don't love and who is abusive to you. When you can answer that question, you should reason it out and start telling yourself some truths.

Women who have had a sexual relationship also have a hard time when it breaks up because of what they have given up. Sexual acts are more emotional/mentally involved for a woman than for a man, in general. (There are exceptions of course guys, so don't yell at me. LOL) A woman tends to give more of her inner self in the sexual act, if you get what I mean. You have to deal with that because of the choices you made.

You ask how to stop the pain: Figure out WHY it hurts, as I said before. Start speaking truth to yourself. Do not get into another reationship for a long time, to give yourself time to heal and grow. Think about your choices in life, what you really want, and write out a clear path you want to follow in a future relationship.

When you have figured out what it is you really want and need, and establish boundaries for how someone treates you, what you are willing to do, etc., and feel strong enough to stick up for yourself and demand what you want, you are ready to date again. Get what you want and accept NO SUBSTITUTES! If the guy doesn't meet the criteria, send him packing. You do not NEED a man in your life. Do not settle for anything less than what you have established as the man you want in your life and never let anyone mistreat you again. You deserve the best and you need to KNOW IT.

Sue

2006-11-13 03:12:59 · answer #3 · answered by newbiegranny 5 · 0 0

This will be a tough time for you initially,and the best thing is to keep busy and not dwell on it. Though I think you should remind yourself that you did the right thing-he can no longer take advantage of youor treat you badly,your stress will decrease,and because of this you'll have a better relationship with your little boy as you won't be constantly fretting about this guy. Pat yourself on the back for being strong enough to end it,and enjoy the freedom after being held back by him for so long.

2006-11-13 03:10:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

im sure u managed fine before he came along n you will be ok again u dont need someone who treats u like a doormat the only people that matter are u and ur son. the hurt will fade in time just be strong when two people are together they share a lot of feelings n intimate moments so ur bound be tearful. ring up a girl friend have a good old cry watch a comedy movie n eat a whole box of milk tray u'll soon feel ok. be strong keep ur chin up x

2006-11-13 03:07:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Hey Hun,

We've all been there. Keep your friends close to you and they will help you work through it. Try and keep yourself as busy as you can which should be fairly easy as you have a Son, focus all your attention on other things and eventually over time, you'll get there.

Try also to put everything that reminds you of him in a box and hide it away. Don't burn it or throw it away because when you're past all this you will want to reminisce and then you'll look at everything differently.

Good Luck x

2006-11-13 03:03:57 · answer #6 · answered by Vicky A 2 · 0 0

You just have to tell yourself that each day you'll feel a little better., Try to distract yourself by doing things that please you, movies, a little shopping, seeing friends...anything that takes your mind off him. If you can afford a little holiday somewhere, go! Or even a weekend by the sea?
We've all been through this. It's very painful. But you will survive. And you can feel proud of yourself that you walked away from someone who did not treat you well. You still have your self-respect. You'll meet another who is much better!

2006-11-13 03:14:48 · answer #7 · answered by simon2blues 4 · 0 0

You just need to ride it out, and unfortunately, the only way to stop the pain TEMPORARILY is to get back with him. However, it won't last, so you need to just get through this one and get on with your life.

Also, you can tell yourself the story you told us, and that it was for the better for both of you. That should at least give you some solace.

I'm so sorry you're having a tough time now sweety. Hang in there!

2006-11-13 03:03:07 · answer #8 · answered by TrainerMan 5 · 1 0

Darn, I responded your question and as quickly as I went to edit it, I deleted it and it grew to become into this kind of competent answer. Oh properly right here is going, i will attempt to declare it back. you only responded your guy or woman question. You broke it off. Kudos! even though; only when you consider which you're actually not from now on with him, does not advise that he's not nonetheless controlling you. it's time to provide up letting him be the puppeteer. pass on. the way you describe his temper swings, he the two has a issue with drugs or alcohol or he's bi-polar. you're fortunate to be out of that subject yet make certain you do not enable him wiggle his previously into you existence with fake provides of fixing. you're freed from him now so get obtainable and revel on your freedom. verify what you choose to do and get out and initiate doing it. you will meet some new buddies, the two woman and male yet be careful to not enable your self get lured into yet another subject the place you provide your existence up for somebody else. you do not would desire to be in a relationship to be chuffed. Take it slow and detect a solid guy or woman who will manage you techniques you manage them. tell your self which you're a sturdy, self sustaining guy or woman and at last you will grow to be one. i'm particular it sounds like a ton has been lifted out of your shoulders now go out and revel in the liberty. you're able to do something you choose to do, so do it. do not take existence so heavily and take it slow. while you're quite ill of conversing approximately this, then provide up conversing approximately it and pass ON! The longer you talk approximately it, the greater straightforward that's going to be to cajole your self which you omit the region and the greater straightforward that's going to be to fall back into it. do not DO IT. Get obtainable and locate issues to swap him with, people, activities even though, do exactly it. solid success to you, you fortunate guy or woman you.

2016-10-22 00:26:34 · answer #9 · answered by corl 4 · 0 0

its a waiting game hunny think of all the bad times and keep busy be strong it will pass believe me i was with my ex 13yrs and wanted to kill me self when he left me i was willing to take him back am so glad i listened to ppl and stuck it out am a better person now and 3 stone lighter .....lol see good things can come of it keep ya chin up hunny ya a woman u Can do it Mr right is out there but try a few Mr right nows it will make ya feel better ....x

2006-11-13 03:13:13 · answer #10 · answered by kat 1 · 0 0

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