Does it bother you? How do you cope with it? And how do you manage to chill and not get your self stressed about it?
2006-11-13 02:55:45 · 18 answers · asked by me_me 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
YES I UNDERSTAND HIS BABY WILL COME FIRST, I AGREE... BUT SOME PEOPLE GET MORE UPSET THAN OTHERS, IM JUS CURIOUS SO DONT START SHOUTING YOUR MOUTH OFF YOU MUPPETS
2006-11-13 03:01:00 · update #1
He said nothing is going to change between us when the baby comes so I shouldn't worry...
But us women can't help but worry can we?
2006-11-13 03:08:13 · update #2
No we have a child together.
2006-11-13 02:57:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My partner and I have 4 kids together but seven years ago( before I had my youngest child) he had a fling with someone that I counted a friend and she a child by him. We work though things and are still together, and althought I was never happy about the child I relised they never ask to be born so why blame them. I accept the fact that he has to see and pay for the child and my three eldest children know of him.
For the first 5 years things were ok because I didn't see the woman or the child very often but last year the woman move just down the road from us.
I do get stressed sometimes about this but I know I did nothing wrong so I hold my head up high .
2006-11-13 14:37:03 · answer #2 · answered by big k 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would find it extremely difficult to cope with. That is why I make sure (in the past) That I have been with men who do not have children yet. I crave so long for a child myself, to watch them grow into a human being and developing their own unique pesonality and choosing their own path in life, to nuture, to love and care for. This is why I would find it difficult, because the father would want this with theor child(ren) who arent really your own. It is different if you have both had children or they are older or the couple is older. I wouldnt cope at all, so Ive never put myself in that situation.
2006-11-13 11:08:53 · answer #3 · answered by Need_to_know 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, my bfriend has got a son.. It does bother me a little bit but we've been together for over 3 years now and really I shouldn't worry, should I.. It's a difficult issue. Depends on his previous situation. Does your partner keep in touch with the mother of the baby? Are they still friends?
2006-11-13 10:59:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well i cant say much but i had a stp mom and she was lovely but she always had them times when she got jealous or something like that. But anyway everyone says the guy will alays choose their flesh and blood first (child) But this is not always true as my dad remarried has a baby with his new with and kicked both me and my sister out not long after we turned 17 years old. So what they say is not always true, my dad would not even look at me in the street let alone speak because he chose his new wife over us and she wont let him talk to us as she dont want us in the family.
So as i said its not always true........
2006-11-13 18:25:40 · answer #5 · answered by frogs are cute 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to accept the child as your own. my hubby has two from two previous relationships and 3 with myself. i raised my stepson from six years old, he's now 27 and we get on great. his daughter however we last seen her 12 years ago. She met myself and the four kids then decided we werent for her and decided it was only her dad she wanted to spend time with until she turned up at my door with her baby and mother (who's b/f found out she was having an affair and chucked them out)and demanded her dad let them all stay, well having 4 kids already and toiling for space i said her and baby could stay but no way was her mum staying so she stormed off and we never seen her. 6 mths ago she got in touch prepared to play happy families and I am finding it difficult to accept as i feel her intentions are not genuine but its his flesh and blood. i understand he is in a difficult position but it has put an enormous strain on our 19 year marriage as she wants to seperate from the rest of the family again and do stuff at her beck and call so in my experience, i can see both sides of the coin. good luck
2006-11-13 13:17:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah mine does have a baby with someone else, and i really thought i would be able to cope with it, but its been 4 years now being together and i havent always had a problem as such, i just put it to the back of my mind. But when i actually think about it, it realy drives me mad, i can stand it. Especially as he is insecure himself and he says nice things about her when we talking about his daughter, i mean, he dont have to, but he does, and it realy annoys me, i know he compares us in his head and i think how dare he.
When i have my child i want it to be both of our first times. But i am young and all my emotional feelings are going mad so when i get older i may be able to deal with it better than i do now at my age.
2006-11-13 11:03:47 · answer #7 · answered by london lady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes he does have a son by his ex. sometimes it bothers me, not the fact he has a child or that we dont live anywhere near where his son lives and its a 3 hour journey one way to see him which isnt ideal for us or my daughter. its more the games his ex plays now we are living together.
funny how she was so nice when she thought i was temporary!
that just puts added stress onto both of us.
its hard, but if you really want to be together you will just have to deal with it. afterall, neither his child or his ex are going anywhere soon.
its just a very steep learning curve......good luck!
keep me updated.
2006-11-17 06:43:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes my husband has a one year old with this bi*ch,that he was with while I was pregnate with my second baby which is now almost three .We are still toghether because he really does want to live his life with me and our three daughters.And I almost have to deal ,,,b/c our six year old daughter loves her daddy very much,and it would hurt me to see her missing her Dad if I was to leave him.The other bi*tch is now married and never calls for anything and she knows that shes to stay away b/c I'm the real deal .I"M THE MOMMA HEN AND I"M PROTECTING MY HOME DAM*T!!!
2006-11-13 11:08:41 · answer #9 · answered by ~*meli$sa*~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No but my gf has got children from a previous relationshiop. Does it bother me, no. How do I cope with it? I help my gf with them.
And I dont get stressed about it at all. Hey, there father is an a*s hole. But I do my best.
2006-11-13 11:00:18 · answer #10 · answered by Rich T 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my boyfriend has a son with someone else, and we have 1 together, it is hard not to resent the child, why dont you check out the group for step mom's in Yahoo. at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/stepmoms/
it is for women who are married or just in a relationship with a man with a child, you should check it out cause what you are feeling is very normal.
2006-11-13 11:07:09 · answer #11 · answered by blondie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋