This past weekend, he decided to leave his toothbrush, shaving cream, deodorant, contact lense, some underwear, socks etc at my place....what does it mean??? As much as I want to ask for him to come "home", I don't feel it's the right time yet. How long should I wait?? What else should I do to keep this going??
2006-11-13
02:48:40
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9 answers
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asked by
betrayed
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Family & Relationships
➔ Marriage & Divorce
For Samantha: Thanks for the insightfull advice. To answer your questions: we kept in contact (not everyday) for the last 7 wks. He said he dated a girl ( who's older, divorced, with 3 children) twice but nothing special went on and he ended it on holloween night. He told her that he just wants to be friends.
2006-11-13
03:35:15 ·
update #1
You don't have to do anything to keep it going, he will keep coming back and soon enough he will apologize and ask you to patch things up and get back together. Sounds like your hubby had another arrangement that did not work out so he came running back to you. Did you ask him how and where did he spend the last 7 weeks and with whom ??
2006-11-13 03:09:30
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answer #1
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answered by Samantha 2
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I think he is testing the water right now to see what you are going to do.
By him leaving his stuff there, it could mean 2 things really...
One it could be that he is seeing if he can get away with and trying to "work" his way back into your life.
Or he could be doing it to see if there is another male coming to visit you, if there is another male coming to visit you I don't think that you would be leaving your x's stuff laying around for the other male to see, and your x knows this as well.
You didn't say why he left you in the first place, so the answers to your other questions would be too hard to answer. But if he left you for another woman...well he would have to prove to you that he wanted only you and no other in his life. But like I said not knowing why he left in the first place I can't really give good answers for the other questions, sorry. Need more details before I can give more advise.
2006-11-13 11:03:19
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answer #2
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answered by SapphireB 6
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My husband left me just a few months before we got married. I do not know the circumstances of why you and your husband split up; but when Jon called me and told me that he needed to speak with me about some things and then when we met up that day, I just knew the time was right. I think when you allowed him to leave his things at your house you are starting to feel more comfortable with him being around again. Let him know you are not sure and talk with him about how you are feeling. Right now is the time to be totally HONEST about how things can not be the way they were and what you feel needs to change to help the relationship grow. You will know if and when the time is right for your hubby to come home.
Best of Luck to you hun.
Jennifer
2006-11-13 10:56:10
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answer #3
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answered by ~Jennifer~ 1
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You are nbot clear about why he left? but if he walked out of the door he should be walking in a couple of weekends later and leaving personal stuff behind before sorting out the reason why he left and if you can work things out.
See what happens this weekend if he comes over...you people need to talk.
One step at a time and figure out what game you guys are playing here.
Marriage is a commitment not a weekend hobbie.
The house you live is a home not a motel.
Think it over and talk it though maybe things are worked out in your hearts already not you just need to discuss it.
Good luck!
2006-11-13 10:54:34
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answer #4
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answered by sonia b 2
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I do not know how great this guy is. I would not respect a man who left me and then decided to come back unless it was for good reason. If it did not work out the first time what makes you think that it will the second. I would try counseling before letting him back through the door. If he really loves you he will go. The best of luck to you.
2006-11-13 10:53:39
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answer #5
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answered by Marie 3
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You are defeating your own purpose by allowing him home privelages without living there. Why buy the cow and all that.
If he left let him stay away. If he wants to be together and work on it do that . to try both can only fail.
2006-11-13 10:58:31
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answer #6
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answered by Flagger 6
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he is going to keep comeing back to you as long as you let him you should get a back bone and tell him it is all or nothing
2006-11-13 10:51:54
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answer #7
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answered by artcherman 3
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Married or not, try that crap with me and see how fast I break up with you...
2006-11-13 10:53:48
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answer #8
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answered by Wedding Crasher 4
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he is having his cake and eating it too
2006-11-13 10:53:52
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answer #9
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answered by JULIE 7
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