I have been married 4 times.Only the first one lasted more than a year. We were together 12 years, married 7&1/2. I guess I am Lousy @ finding the right guy or lousy at being married! I am strong, and don't take well to being dominated, which they all seem to do. They are jealous of my Children, other men,any activity or friend I have etc.. I am obviously not a very good judge of Character, and (evidently) don't take enough time getting to know them. I don't want to be alone, every guy I date falls in love with me and immediatly wants to "own" me. I have never really played the field . But obviously "fall-in-love" way too easily. What do I do. I'm scared to try anymore.
2006-11-13 02:37:37 · 7 answers · asked by the23FireKeep 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's ironic but you answered your own question. You admitted that you don't give yourself enough time to get to know someone first. (I am guilty of this also). My fear of being alone, feeling vulnerable and afraid. Drives me into one relationship after another. Worse is going back or staying in unhealthy relationships.
You need a man who is secure in himself and your relationship. Then there would be no jealousy over children, friends or activities.
Men are attracted to my out going, open minded, vivacious, free spirited personality. Yet I feel some times they see me as a beautiful free bird. They want to tame and own. They try controlling me and are insecure eventually of the way I am.
My advice is you are not a crap magnet. Don't give up on love. Possession isn't love, neither is control(I found out that the hard way) Give yourself time to heal. Figure out what you are looking for. If they show any signs. Move on. There will be someone else that will accept you for who you are and you will have the freedom to be who you have become.
2006-11-13 03:00:33 · answer #1 · answered by Balou 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You sound too afraid to be married. You can't love someone if you have expectations of them. Love is to give/ not to get. Men do like to take the lead.
In a loving relationship it is necessary in another relationship it isn't. Give it up girl. You don't have to "conrol" everything and everyone in your life. Let your kids have a relationship with your man too. Don't put expactations on their relationsip either. Let it go, you'll be much happier.......
2006-11-13 10:44:05 · answer #2 · answered by TMAC 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go see a therapist and discuss with him/her your issues. You will probably find out you are the way you are because of how you were raised. The therapist will be able to point out your weakness and your strong points so that you will be able to realize what you are doing before it is too late and your married and divorced to hubby number 5.
2006-11-13 10:44:18 · answer #3 · answered by Corona 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Since you have been married before, you need not say you've never experienced marriage. So being single now should not be that bad. Sometimes it better to be single than having problems being married.
2006-11-13 11:05:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It isn't a bad thing to be alone. From the sounds of it you need to just date and take time for you. If you find a person who suits you well and you want to be with them, then do it. Just make sure they can accept you for you and don't expect you to change.
2006-11-13 10:41:12 · answer #5 · answered by neinmom2one 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, I think you are too quick to think what you are experiencing is love. You've run down the aisle and then realized afterward that this guy and that guy - they weren't the "one."
Slow down and appreciate the time you have by yourself. The next time you meet someone special, just enjoy him and get to know him slowly.
2006-11-13 10:45:18 · answer #6 · answered by Rachel 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
my advice to you would be dont get married again - at least no time soon - put all your concentration into raising your son, and dont worry about getting attached ...the right person will come along - but make sure he's the one for you before you get attached... you wont be alone forever ... well never -you have your son....
2006-11-13 10:43:19 · answer #7 · answered by beachnut222000 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋