do you think corporal punishment given to kids make any sense?

Question

just asking do you think that teaching a child by hitting or smacking him really teach him something.i think parenting is not fear..i have seen lotta parents spanking the **** outta their kids on the name of discipline and most of these kids do the same thing over and over again i mean its not a magic tool..and some kids also devolop the feeling "you can beat but you cant kill" i think talking the problem out with the kid can work also and time out can work also..parents say that if we dont whip our kids they will turn criminals i have read lotta criminal biography and trust me guys there wasnt a single one who wasnt spanked in his childhood..i think it dont make any sense sure provide a parent fast result but it dont last long..

FORGET WHAT I THINK...

WHAT DO YOU THINK??

Answer 1

In my experience as a mental health therapist, stress and trauma in childhood seems to be what correlates with serious mental health issues when the person becomes an adult. Apparently we see an epidemic of serious mental health issues due to kids being physically, mentally and/or sexually abused. Please don't hit your kids...ever. Redirect them, and reward the behaviors that you approve of. It works better and leaves less mental scars.

Answer 2

I think that the punishment should fit the crime, or the bad behaviour. If a kid does something to physically hurt someone, then being physically hurt themselves gives them an idea of what they have done to that person, and it does it in the most direct way of learning, which is through experience. What is meted out to the child should never be more severe than what they had done to the person, though, and should always be explained why they are receiving the punishment (what they did wrong and what they should be learning from the punishment being given).

So if a kid smacks someone, then smacking them and telling them that they shouldn't do that again because that's how it feels, that shows they what they have inflicted upon someone else. But you shouldn't hit them harder than they hit that person. And you shouldn't hit them if what they did wasn't physical, such as mouthing off. All that does is teach them that if someone says something that you don't like then it's okay to hit them. If you want a good example of this, then observe almost any women/girl. You'll notice that they'll hit a man/boy if they say something to them that they don't like. Since most times they don't get hit back for this action of theirs, they feel not only that hitting the guy was okay but that they can do it over and over again without recrimination.

Answer 3

Oh this is such a touchy topic....I was spanked as a child, in return I never attempted the behavior that brought on the spanking. I was also given praise for my good behaviors. Now that I am a parent, I believe that I can and should spank my kids. Now don't get me wrong I don't beat the kids, I just give the enough warnings and when those warnings are ignored then that is when the spanking comes in. BUT I also talk about what else could have done in a better way. For instance I am not going to spank my kid for a bad grade, we will talk about it, but if he starts a fight or causes any harm to another body,person, building,or property you can bet I will spank and take away A LOT of their privilege's. Just because I spank my children it doesn't mean that I evoke fear or respect. But my children are raised to respect me, all adults, and those they are subjected to on a daily basis. After all I want to be their parents first and friend second.

Answer 4

I have three children. Two of them have received one spanking each in their lives (a few relatively light wacks on the tush), and the third one has never been spanked. I only ever resorted to spanking to save them from hurting themselves.

My children don't fight with other kids, or each-other. They help one another, they will sacrifice for one another and they are very slow to dislike anyone.

They listen when I ask them to do something, but often I don't need to ask at all. Generally they clean their rooms without having to be asked... they do their homework on time, and they do their chores.

So, what's the secret? Love, respect and involvement on an everyday, consistant basis. If children feel loved, respected as people and if mom/dad make it clear that their children's thoughts, feelings and experiences are important to them... not just once in a while, but daily... then children feel empowered, valued and secure in themselves. They don't need to act out because they are being acknowledged already.

If children get the message that they are a low priority, or an impediment to their parents wants or desires, they're going to doubt their worth and their security. And if a parent is sending his/her children that message, they don't appreciate or understand just what an honour it is to raise and love a child.

Answer 5

There is a lot of social science BS about the negative consequences of spanking. It is wrongly connected to violence and the teaching of violence. Let me state this clearly. There is NO scientific evidence for a " cycle of violence " being perpetrated by spanking. We are becoming the laughing stock of the world, aside from Europe, for our moronic social science pronouncements on child raising. What is done to some children is shown to hurt, while the same thing done to others is shown to help. To give a " one size fits all " prescription for child raising is in direct opposition to the strong empirical suggestion of child variability. Some children can benefit quite well from an application of judicious corporal punishment. To say that this leads to the" slippery slope" of teaching violence is to confuse kind with degree; a common social science confusion.

PS Another great confusion among social scientists, is the confusion of their Foucaultian views on punishment. As one needs to know; punishment is merely the law keeping it's promise.

Answer 6

There is a huge difference between a spanking and beating the hell out of your kid. Spanking should be limited to times when a child is putting himself/herself in danger and wont stop with other means of discipline. Such as the two year old who will not stay out of the road or plays with the stove. Older children who lie or steal may need a nudge and reminding that they MUST behave. A lot of parents spank but do not beat their children and while I do believe that child abuse has a direct link to future criminal behavior, I repeat : a spanking is not abuse when administered for good reason when the child will not behave with other methods.

Answer 7

No...it DONT make any sense.
This is just MY opinion...I think that Corporal Punishment teaches kids 1 thing & 1 thing only.....FEAR! I do NOT spank my kids! (that is not to say that I havn't WANTED to BEAT my teen daughter down from time to time LOL) But, I personally, do NOT want my kids to be afraid of me. It dont matter how one looks at it...be it some simple "Pops On Their Butt", or the more severe, "Hitting" or "Beating" them.
My mommie hit me as a child & I was TERRIFIED of her!
They say..."Spanking Teaches Them Dicipline"...I say there are better ways to dicipline kids. I in NO WAY proclaim to be a perfect parent, therefore, I dont know ALL of the methods of teaching dicipline. I just know that I do NOT believe in "Spanking".
Here in Florida, they have a law that states something like..."You Can Spank Your Child, As Long As You Dont Leave Any Marks". I say...BLAH!
That is MY opinion.

Answer 8

Spanking is bad news.

What you are doing by spanking is drawing attention their behavior which you don't approve of. That is negative reinforcement. For example, you have used sexist langauge in your post (by using the male pronoun to refer to children). Children, obviously, are not all male and the use of male pronouns to refer to many people or a group is antiquated. I don't like to use sexist language and I tend to correct people when they use it. If I were to negatively reinforce that behavior with you, I would make a post about how stupid you are or how ignorant you are for using sexist language while ignoring anything else in your question which might be good. By calling you stupid or ignorant, it is going to make you defensive which will only make you lash out at me and call me stupid or ignorant and that usually ends pretty badly for everyone.

What DOES work, and this has been tested by scientists and people alike, is positive reinforcement. Reward the behavior you do like and soon, the behavior you do not like will sort of die down. While I do not align myself with the behaviorist way of thinking entirely, it certainly does work. No one likes to be yelled at or spanked and people, on a whole, like recognition. They like doing a good job and being told so. So, for example, using your question again, as I have noted above, you have used non-inclusive language but, you also raised a good question: does corporal punishment make sense? Does it work? So, in an effort to posivitely reinforce you, what I would do is be sure to tell you that this is a great question for reasons A, B, and C, the only problem I had with it was just your language usage. By doing that, I am leaving you feeling good about your question as well as nicely giving attention to a behavior I don't approve of, non-inclusive language. What that means in the end is that you are more likely to change your language usage and still feel good about yourself. That is positive reinforcement and that is what tends to work the best.

So, does corporal punishment makes sense? Not really, it is just the easier and faster option which kind of allows you to take out your own frustrations on your child which IS NOT GOOD. Period.

EDIT: Chazdoppler's brings up an interesting notion: an eye for an eye. If a child hits someone or inflicts pain, than it is OK for you (I am assuming "you" means the parent or guardian) to do the same. The problem with this is that the parent is still hitting the child. Assume that child hits a friend of theirs - about the same size, about the same level of reasoning, same strength, etc. A parent witnesses this and takes it into their own hands by hitting the child for their friend. Firstly, the child's reasoning probably won't immediately jump to the conclusion that the parent/guardian is stepping in and hitting the child back for hitting the friend. Second, adults are MUCH stronger than they realize, especially with children. Think about how easy it is for most adults to life a gallon of milk - that is about 8 pounds. Many children struggle with this task which seems so menial to adults. So, hitting the child ONLY AS HARD AS THEY HIT THEIR FRIEND is incredibly relative and how could an adult accurately gauge that? I would think that a more effective route would to sit down and talk with the child about what they did and have the child come up with their own answer as to why it was wrong. If they stuggle with it, then ask them how they would feel is someone hit them. I am firm in believing that children should not be hit as a form of punishment and that there are alternative ways around it. Plus, teaching your child the reasoning behind why they feel what they feel puts them on a track to being able to express their negative emotions without physical involvement.

Answer 9

No, I don't think corporal punishment teaches children anything. It is punishment which teaches nothing, children should be disciplined which teaches the child that they have done something wrong but also teaches them why it was wrong. I don't think because a child is not smacked or hit they will turn into criminals.

Answer 10

I think corporal punishment should be saved for teaching a child when they are doing something that endangers their lives.

If you spank a child for everything they do wrong, you are only teaching them that when mommy and daddy get mad, it's ok to hit.