I pay for 90% of everything in my relationship. We've been together two years and are engaged. When we started dating she was in school and worked 32 hours a week. - Eventually she wanted to move in. Of course I assumed she was going to split the rent with me. It turned ou she did not plan this and it became a big issue. I loved her and thought I could take care of her... two years later she is paying $200 of the $1200 rent and pays for food.... however when we go out I pay 100% of the time.... I buy everything around the house... we've been out of decent eating utensils (down to three forks) and I ended up having to buy these too... the sheets on our bed are old and shrunk - not fitting the mattres... I waited for her to buy these (asking her, she said she couldn't afford it - and that I'd be waiting for a long time). ... I'm SO frustrated... this is daddy's little girl, and she and I are both 31.... ugh!!!.. I don't know what to do.
2006-11-13 02:05:57 · 12 answers · asked by byroni 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Either accept this or get rid of her. A marriage won't work if you go into it with problems. Sounds like the two of you are needing to learn how to communicate. I'm Daddy's little girl, but I pay my share of everything and I don't expect any man to support me.
2006-11-13 02:09:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems like she doesnt know anything about responsibility!!! You need to have a heart to heart talk with her and let her know how feel. I mean its not really a problem its just that a relationship should be 50/50. Now she only paying $200.00 rent she should at least have the nerve to buy house supplies and pay when you guys go out seeing that your are keeping a roof over her head. Some woman dont realize they have soemthing good until its gone. and I know you love her because you stayed this long and most men would have been kicked her to the curb and really sent her to her daddy and let him take care of a grown a** woman. You have to talk to her she may not want to hear it and she may get upset but its only fair. I mean try to be sweet when you talk about but also letting her know that you are dead serious and you mean every word you are saying. You dont want to leave her but you want her to learn responsibilities, because when you two get married god forbid if something happens to you and she has to take care of you until you are able, if she doesnt know how to pay bills and always has an excuse you all will be homless. LOL. Seriously talk to her tell her you love her and she means the world to you its just you want her to understand where you are coming from, because if the shoe was on the other foot, believe me she wouldnt go for it you would have been out.
2006-11-13 02:18:01 · answer #2 · answered by Kiwi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, well Byron: Tell me something Mister, when you get married, I'm only assuming this of course, are you going to make her pay her share of everything or are you going to work on some kind of budget together?
What the heck is wrong with you Buster, didn't your mother tell you that you were suppose to work together in a marriage? do you know that marriage was a 110% project, and you should be abe to give everything you can without griping.
I think you both should see a marriage consular and get some sound advise about a mature relationship and then think about it. I don't think your ready myself, you sound kind of selfish, you'd better think about it real hard before making a commitment.
2006-11-13 02:15:33 · answer #3 · answered by cowboydoc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you talked to her about this? I don't know how much money she makes or if she works, but she definitely needs to contribute more. If I were you, I'd sit her down and bring her a list of all you pay for and what she pays for. If that doesn't work, then go to a counselor. Keep in mind, if she doesn't want to face this and change, she'll bring this behavior into your marriage. If I were you, I'd seriously consider breaking up with her now before you get married rather than get married and get divorced later. It's much cheaper.
2006-11-13 02:10:57 · answer #4 · answered by daughtofthking 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is nothing worse than being stuck in an unhappy marriage. if you feel she is a selfish person you are probably right and selfish people make the worst partners. get out while you can. she will make it difficult because she is in a very convenient relationship right now; you provide everything. why wouldn't she want to hold on? if you think you are frustrated now, just wait, you will find out just how maddening a person like this can be.
2006-11-13 02:13:49 · answer #5 · answered by jeannepetit2003 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't sound happy at all. If she is like this now she is probably not going to change. Suggest counseling for both of you, kinda like marriage counseling. Not once do you say you are in love with her. Don't get married if your not in love with her. Tell her things need to change because you are not happy. What is she doing with all her money? I wish you luck. God Bless
2006-11-13 02:20:51 · answer #6 · answered by Sexy-n-Hot 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you know how much she gets??
I think you need to have a talk with her other wise it will go wrong. But if she goes to brush it off,don't let her.Makes sure she is listening. If she loves you she should respect you.
I think she needs to grow up abit and start paying her way.
2006-11-13 02:12:18 · answer #7 · answered by Nic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find another roomie who will pay. Engagements are a prelude as to what to expect in marriage...
2006-11-13 02:11:13 · answer #8 · answered by Patches6 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to be with a grown woman. It seems like it's time for you to move on. It also might be time for you to be more vocal in what your needs and expectations are.
2006-11-13 02:10:04 · answer #9 · answered by Tavita 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your gf is in denial and she is not coming out until you make her. Talk to her gently but with a firm resolve.
Things will only get worse until you do.
Good luck!
2006-11-13 02:09:31 · answer #10 · answered by mimi22 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋