I want more than what I get from my hubby?

Question

I love my husband and what he have together. I don't want to divorce him and less I don't want to change him. Latley I been wanting to just hook up with someone else. I don't mean a person I know, or a randome person. I don't know why I'm feeling this way. I feel like a horrible wife...Theres no person in particular...I just get the desire of being with someone else....for a couple of houres. Why do I feel such a strong feeling towards cheating ? The truth is that I have done it in the pass, but I tould him and he forgave me and we moved on...these feeling has come back and I need to get it stoped, helpe me!!!!

Answer 1

i think your doing your husband a HUGE dis-service! he deserves someone that will love him, and cherish him out of and IN the bedroom.
your being unfaithful in your mind, and untrue in your heart.
you need to face the truth head on, tell him how you feel and let him find someone more deserving of his love.

you need counseling to find out what that void is that you are trying to fill up by having sex. this "urge" sounds a bit manic to me. like you are craving a fix or something!

Answer 2

Some say it's normal to have desires of being with someone else when you have only been with one person for so long. As long as you don't act on it. You may not want to change your mate cause we never do but that could be just the trick to get your mind off being with some one else. Put a little spice in your love life. Try some thing new and see if that gets your mind off things. If all else fails tell your husband how you have been feeling. No relationship can work with out communication. Hope that helps.

Answer 3

Talk to him about it... Honestly.. tell him you've not acted on it, yet (if that's true). What you are feeling is natural. the human species by nature is non-monogamous.

but don't cheat. Talk to him. never lie... Work through it. That may mean that you open your marriage up, though I am not necessarily recommending it since I know so little from these questions.

I am polyamorous and so is my wife. Each of us have a Significant Other and they have been part of our lives for over 15 years.

If you truly feel that your non-monogamous (Polyamorous www.polamory.org ) then open up your discussions with your husband and let him know how you feel. Be honest with him and don't act on your feelings until each of you have agreed to ground rules (even if he is monogamous by nature). If you are honest and don't hide or lie, then you are not cheating. On the other hand, if the excitement is getting away with the deceit then this is no answer at all.

Also in this day and age, don't just go out and get a "screw" when your in the mood. Find someone (or a few people) who understand what you are looking for and are willing to be involved under the ground rules that you and your husband have set. and make them realistic ground rules.

Answer 4

I think that sucks!!! Cant you just fantisize or something? You are married and that should mean something. Cheating should not be common place in a marriage and I wish you and everyone else that cheats could see that. Why are you married if you cant be happy with the one you promised to be with for ever. I would be soooo mentally screwed up if my husband couldnt resist someone else. Anyone else! The fact of the mater is that you know it is wrong and because you will pos. do it agian you dont care!!! Like I said that SUCKS!!!

Answer 5

If you have done it before, then you know how devastating it is. Is 15 mins of fun worth the way that it is going to make him feel? At what point is a night of fun worth losing you man? What if this is the last straw for him? I would tell you that it is crushing to a man and leads to many days of consternation. Hopefully taking about it right now will help you see how wrong it is.

Answer 6

What you probably long for, more than the sex, is just for "another person" who will hold you and hug you. What you are looking for is intimacy and since no one can ever be perfect, your husband's weaknesses cause you to find that intimacy somewhere else. If people are honest, there are alot of us like you. Your feeling aren't wrong; but how you respond to them can be wrong (or right).

I think you should resist the temptation to be held by someone other than your husband. Try, with all that you have, to find that intimacy with your husband. Imagine if what you are feeling could be met by husband......wouldn't that be GREAT???? Do everything in your power to make that happen.

Good luck.

Answer 7

My first suggestion is to seek counseling. My second suggestion is to evaluate what's missing in your marriage which makes you want more from another man. It could be something simple, that when you explain it to your husband, he is more than willing to give. Resist the urge to cheat in any way. Figure out what it is that you feel you're not getting. If it's truly the feeling of being with someone different, there is always role-playing. Talk with your husband about it, see if he's into that type of thing or at least willing to try. Tell him the type of personality to pretend to be and see if that works.

Answer 8

Try a having your husband in with you on your need to have someone new. He can watch he my find that he likes it. If he doesn't like that idea, you are going to have to just play with your self and get past the idea.

Answer 9

Your husband needs to be more agressive sexually with you. Once you feel that he is in control then your attitude will change. He sounds a little weak to me and if you talk to him and tell him that you want him to not ask you for sex, but change it up a bit and sometimes just take sex from you, it will change your attitude about cheating.

Answer 10

You need to talk to him about how you feel.
And to satisfy your urge you can both role play. He can pretend to be a repairman coming to the door to fix something and you can seduce him. Have fun with the role playing. You will satisfy your thoughts of promiscuity and you will both have an adventure.