My husband left late for work this morning, and as I'm on all fours digging under our daughters crib for a lost toy, I hear him in the bedroom on his cell phone. Of course, I overheard something that sparked my interest and continued to listen. He was confiding in his (female) business manager all the details of his relationship....and basically all but said he planned on leaving me, or US rather. And as I sit hear crying I'm sure the occasional jackass will feel the need to make light of this and say something insulting. And trust me, I realize how odd it is for me to be talking to a bunch of strangers, but you don't me. I don't have to look you in the eyes and feel like a failure. Cuz, God knows I wouldn't admit it to anyone else.
I did confront him when he got off the phone....that just turned into a screaming match. I just don't understand the need that he had to tell her all of the things he did, while I just sit in the dark?!?
2006-11-13 02:00:56 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sweetie...I feel so sorry for you...and that your going through this. If I had to guess as to why he is confiding in her....it would be because there is something between them.
Now please don't jump to conclusions, and automatically accuse him of having an affair or messing around. But I would do as much probing as I could to find out exactly what their realtionship consists of.
If he really is leaving you and your child, then you need to seek council soon. You have rights and so does your daughter. The fact that it ended up in a shouting match instead of talking it out would make me suspicious that he is feeling cornered and confrontational. He is hiding something, or is ashamed of his actions. I know he is your husband...and you no doubtedly love him, but dont just sit back and take it if he is leaving. His responsibility is to you and your daughter. If you think it can be saved and he is willing or thinks the same, then try counceling....it does help, but only if you want it to.
Now this is only me...but I would confront that woman and ask her what the relationship between them is. Your a woman, you'll know if she is lying.......
Please email me if you need to...or just need someone to talk to.......I've been there. Good Luck !!!!!! I will pray for you and your little girl !!!!
2006-11-13 02:10:43 · answer #1 · answered by lisa46151 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'll be honest with you.. Your gonna have to eventually let it go. You cannot force anyone to love you. What emotions you feel are strictly your own. I battled it out with my ex who was sleeping with her bosses son. He was a cook at the Greek diner where she worked. So no matter how much you care for a person, they will leave you if they don't care. It is easy to do if you don't want to be with that person anymore. So whatever, don't sweat it. Be their for your children and move on. Their is always a home wreaker at your job. I have seen this many times as well. Some women like screwing with other womens men. But remember, he's not going anywhere he doesn't want to. Maybe he is tired of your relationship. Just because your still in it, doesn't mean he is. He also knew you were listening to him this morning. It is his way of letting you know subtly that he's done. I'm sure their was alot leading up to it. It is probably for the best. It would not be a good place for you or your children, or him. If its not a happy home its a crappy place to live. So put an H on your chest and handle it. I have been through this before and know its not easy, but that is life.
2006-11-13 10:19:09 · answer #2 · answered by Daniel R 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some guys feel they can be open to certain people and not others. My husband is very secretive when it comes to his some, but he is very open with me. It is important to communicate though so that you two know how you feel and where you stand with one another. You two have a daughter and for her sake I think you should try and make it work. If not, at least maintain a normal relationship for her take. I know how hard it can be growing up being pulled between my mom and dad. Its not fun and its not normal. I hope you find the answers you need and I will be thinking about you. Sorry this has happened to you.
-Sara Lynn
2006-11-13 10:05:28 · answer #3 · answered by Sara K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say it but maybe she is the one that he is leaving you for, and they have been planning this for a while. I am a man, but I hate it when a man gets into a relationship that he has no plans on carrying out to the end. Especially if there are kids involved.
I say you are better off without him, and start thinking ahead of a life without him, just worry about your little girl and yourself and leave all of that behind, it sounds like that's what he intends to do.
E-mail me if you need to get some other things off your mind/chest. I'm a really good listener.
2006-11-13 10:07:57 · answer #4 · answered by luvsbjs_418 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im sure u are hurt! But pull it together now! You will have to b strong thru the hurt.Dont fight with him it wont change a thing.Let him goe if thts what he wants .The thing you have a child and he will have to pay child support and his if new fling wont like a baggage guy! In fact u kick him out its best u show respect that u dont want him cause of his dumb behavoir .He needs to b shocked on the way out! My sis always taught me at a dateing age that u always break up first and I have its a good feeling to have it your choice! Do it and get the papers in order ! good luck!
2006-11-13 10:10:35 · answer #5 · answered by jessy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What now? Try to stay calm, and know from him his actual motive and decision - that is to leave you? If yes, and why? Do not try to go into a screaming match with him, for you will end up a loser without getting to understand the problem(s) between both of you.
Somtimes, the lack of bond, satisfaction and/or communication between both of you may lead him to boost his ego in other ways, to make himself more attractive to other women.
I tease women a lot (in friendly ways), and many women like being praised and commended (on their looks and the way they dress).
It is important to note that most men, including myself, want to make marriage a success. Flings may happen, but ultimately, home is where men would want to go back to. Bring yourself to change in little things he may not like (perhaps, being over-demanding, or sometimes in harmless ways like over-nagging).
Think about things to talk to him. Remember not to lose any temper, for "damage-control" at this point in time is crucial to salvaging any remnants of feelings you both have for each other.
2006-11-13 10:15:57 · answer #6 · answered by dreamofyz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some guys say about relationships and leaving a spouse to feel in the clique. You have the brains to recognize something was said and get it out in the open. Guys brag. I was a typist in a group of ten girls and two were alcoholics, one was getting married to a divorced guy I knew and later she divorced him, one was severly depressed and I could go on and on...water cooler gossip? Ask your spouse...If he has a kid he knows the consequences...
2006-11-13 10:08:56 · answer #7 · answered by Patches6 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your thinking 2 much. You should leave him..He sounds irresponsible..he has a kid and he is leaving. You sound like a doormat and an emotionally battered housewife. Let him come and see that you and your daughter are gone.
2006-11-13 10:04:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call your best friend NOW and let her help you sort this out.
You can get through this by keeping your head and not feeling sorry for yourself. Good luck!
2006-11-13 10:04:27 · answer #9 · answered by mimi22 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
While he is off with his "boss" who may well be his lover, change the door locks.
2006-11-13 10:07:18 · answer #10 · answered by IGH3Rat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋