The man I've been dating for six mths. now has a two yr. old by his ex girlfriend. She is constantly a damsel in distress. If it's not work issues, it's something else. She calls my boyfriend everytime she has a problem and expects him to listen to her or fix everything. If I ever say anything about it, he tell's me that it's b/c it's his baby's mother. Now, he told me last week he was going to have family portraits made of the three of them and I'm feeling really left out. Is this acceptable behavior, b/c if it is then I'm out.
2006-11-13 01:41:30 · 18 answers · asked by precious girl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
your selfish.
this man is being a RESPONSIBLE PARENT! and your having a hissy fit about it!! i applaud that man for taking the time to make sure that his child is in a GOOD environment. that is his child, not a pet dog! get used to it, or find a man that is childless.
a family portrait is a wonderful way of saying to his child that even though his mommy and daddy aren't together they still can behave like mature grown ups (something YOUR not doing), and create a memory for him that he will cherish forever.
to be honest...i can't believe the man hasn't gotten rid of your spoiled @ss already! and children are NOT baggage they are a gift a treasure..but only until you are a mother will you understand THAT. you knew he had a kid going into the relationship you only have your self to blame.
2006-11-13 02:19:42 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is defiantly not acceptable behavior. Get out now, because he's still very attached to the mother of his child. Helping her all the time and getting a "family" portrait together? Please. If you stay in this relationship, your going to end up with a broken heart. You should never feel like the 3rd wheel in your relationship, If you do, it's time to find someone who will focus on the future with you instead of their past.
I don't want all men with kids to get a bad rap.................
My husband has a son with his ex girlfriend also. I never felt left out (we've been married 8 yrs now and are very happy). Not all men with kids act that way. Yes, they do have to talk occasionally about their son, but he never did things for her and he never had a portrait taken with her and their son (while we were together). That's way over the line.
2006-11-13 01:55:52 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
NO !!!! YOU are not selfish at all. HE IS !!!!!!!!!!! How dare he expect you to have a portrait of him and his ex to look at. His baby sure but not the ex. I can understand him wanting to be there for his child but he is certainly going overboard with his ex. I must say l totally agree that he is not over her. If l was you l would give him an ultimatum, tell him it's his ex or you, make him choose. Tell him you understand that he wants to be there for his child but that's it. You are the woman in his life now, not her. If he can't do that if l was you l would be looking for a new boyfriend. Hope all works out well for you, Good luck.
2006-11-13 02:17:07 · answer #3 · answered by kazzadanni 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It looks like there is more going on there, and he is fixing more than you know about. This realy isn't acceptable behavior at all. If he doesn't think that you are part of the family unit for this portrait I would move on.
I know I have ex's with kids that are mine and I make them a part of my new realtionship. I don't go out of my way to fix anything for my ex's. I'm nice towards them, don't need any new wars, but that is it.
2006-11-13 02:05:21 · answer #4 · answered by ranchforman57 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you are a very self centered person. Only because you spammed your question all over the board.
I also approve of this guy trying to be a father to this child. He is a good guy in that.
That said, I would have your same problem with this relationship. I want to be number one to my girlfriend, not number three after his child and ex. The guy comes with way too much baggage and maybe should go try to be a family with his ex and child. You are high maintenance and need and deserve someone who only has eyes for you.
2006-11-13 01:48:42 · answer #5 · answered by hankthecowdog 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He is right, she is his baby's mama. He should be involved in her life to a point. After all, anything that effects her will effect his son. He is a good guy to care like that!!
The picture thing on the other hand is not nesessary and I would be very upset. There is no reason to have a portrait of the three of them together!!! Why dont they just have pic. taken of each of them with their son?? Why would they need to have a "family" pic. They are not family anymore. Only there son and a friendship should connect them. Im sorry you have to deal with this!! Its hard to be with someone with kids. Try to be open minded when it comes to there friendship. Ask yourself what you would want if it was flip-flopped. Mabye she is a good person. Try not to let their past relationship get you jelous. He is with you right!!
I guess you may need to look at how what kind of relationship she thinks they have too. Mabye she is trying to get him back but mabye not. If she is thats bad and, YES, move on!!
2006-11-13 01:59:23 · answer #6 · answered by runzwsizorz 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Wow! I think he is out of line on the pictures with the 3 of them.Im sorry u care for this guy .I dated alot of guys with kids and found they all have the same thing in common .They overdue on everything about the kids such as how to handle them and the x .My niece just married a guy that has a 10 yr old girl and all he talked about is the kid at our dinner.Its pathetic ! You dont hear woman talk constant about there kids.Im sorry but his kid will always come first before u so its a good time to move on.His x will suck him dry and he is weak and not worth the effort on your part.And look this guy wont ever have anyone that can put up with him! He is done for life! Respect yourself dont take second best .He used up! Good luck!
2006-11-13 01:57:42 · answer #7 · answered by jessy 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I don't think that's acceptable at all, he has a committment to his child true enough but not to the mother, women sometimes use their child to hold on to the man. Maybe he still have feelings for her and doesn't want to admit it to you. But I would let him know how I feel and if he doesn't understand I would move on because it's your feelings that or on the line not his. If you continue to let it happen then he'll feel its ok. It's like he's getting his cake and eating it too.
2006-11-13 01:48:22 · answer #8 · answered by Mickey 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
To help the mother of his child is one thing... but to have portraits made of the three of them is another, YOu are right, you are not over reacting and he is too close for confort with her.
You deserve to be #1 ..... if yu are not, then move on
Good luck
2006-11-13 01:45:26 · answer #9 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Honey, you are already "out". He's just using you and you're allowing him to do so. Kick him to the curb. He'll be right back with the "baby's mama" in a heart beat. Find you a man who puts you first and respects you. This one doesn't. Godloveya.
2006-11-13 01:51:09 · answer #10 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋