I loved a smart good looking girl but as she was not interested I ended up marrying a girl whom I do not like. I had to do that as I didn’t have enough options and I thought gradually intimacy would be developed. She belongs to typically business family where smartness doesn’t matter. I’m kind of person who always look for improvement in technical, soft skill as well as personality and expects the same from wife. I tried a lot to let her know my likings but she never paid much attention to it. For her home and child is everything. It takes me back to the girl and expects the same which I expect from my wife. The girl always asked me to be her friend and keep distance where as I found her indulging with ex-friend. On enquiring, she scolded me not to interfere in her personal life. I’ve broken the friendship but I’m disturbed as I don’t see any ray of hope from wife. Is it wrong to expect these things from wife? Can anybody show me the right path?
2006-11-13 01:20:29 · 19 answers · asked by Tan 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First off, you need to forget about the 'one that got away' (especially since you're married). Since she never returned your feelings for her, there was no way that that relationship was going anywhere, anyways. So it's time to move on.
Second, if you are having problems with your wife, you need to sit her down and talk to her about your relationship. What you expect from her and whether or not she is willing to do the things you ask. Also realize that she may also have things she requires you to change as well, so be prepared that she's not the happiest camper either. Marriage is full of compromise. So go into your discussion with an open mind.
Before you talk to her, you may want to let her know that you have some things that you need to discuss about the marriage so, she won't be blindsided when you sit her down. This will also give her time to prepare anything that she would need to discuss as well.
Good luck.
2006-11-13 01:30:41 · answer #1 · answered by tipper 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First live a practical life Man U R wife is living a practical life she lives as she is required to be leave the love and all those nonsense things what U like to get U from U R wife she is in the right path dont disturb her
2006-11-13 09:28:49 · answer #2 · answered by Ramasubramanian 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You married your wife knowing fully well that she was different from the girl you loved. Turning her around to your way of thinking would be highly uncertain in terms of achievability as traits firmly ingrained in her psyche would be quite difficult to change. Didn't you realise that when you married her?
The girl you loved is still embedded in your consciousness, which makes your wife all the more disagreeable to you. You are trying to mould your wife in the image of your lover. Just remember, marriage is a responsibility and not a frivolity. Saying that you married your wife as you didn't have enough options is a piece of crap even you wouldn't believe in with all sincerity. You are a husband and a father. So try to behave as one. Forget the girl who didn't even bother to reciprocate your love. Try to find peace by devoting yourself to your family. And let your wife be herself and not somebody else.
2006-11-13 11:36:30 · answer #3 · answered by Modest 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm.... i think u r being a bit selfish here.U say that u like things like this and like that.U want ur wife to do this and that.But, have u realised that ur wife also married u with certain expectations? She also wishes that u do certain things to her/for her?
Y dont u try talking to her and ask her abt her hobbies and try indulging in them together? Maybe u'll find out that u do have a lot of things in common.
2006-11-13 09:27:27 · answer #4 · answered by Sunrise 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its not neccessary your wife must have all the qualities you need .For your wife concept also ,you will not be complete husband,here and there some fault will be there.You can not underestimate your wife..you should understand the surroundings she is born and bought up.You had a marriage where you don't like...and you never make up your mind with that thats why you are still after the otherone.don't worry all men are facing the same problem after marriage..ha..ha..ha...
2006-11-13 09:47:49 · answer #5 · answered by lini a 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
see this what you are feeling is a passing phase , it happened to me too but gradually I REALISED that three other lives depended on me and my husband went against all odds to marry me he never gave me a reason to complain and I was busy thinking of my ex bf who didnt have the spunk enough to stand by me........ your wife loves you definately and so she takes care of your house may b she is not so expressive pay more attention to her and your home nurture your love and make her feel special cherish her companionship ... u will soon see how wrong u were... and for ur x gf .... she was never yours ......... accept your wife as she is ,dont try to change her and remember everybody is not the same
2006-11-13 11:43:22 · answer #6 · answered by emily 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Strange. You claim to like an intelligent woman, but show no signs of intelligence yourself. Your decisions in life are a good indicator that you have something missing "up there," and your grammar is atrocious. Let your wife go and find someone befitting of you.....say, a lady with an IQ of around 80.
2006-11-13 09:39:22 · answer #7 · answered by schweetums 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You need to have head checked. Marrying a girl that you didn't love is really a dumb move. Now that you are there and I guess there is a kid now, you have to right with the child. As for your friend, she doesn't want you and that is that move on and more than likely move out as well.
2006-11-13 09:38:24 · answer #8 · answered by ranchforman57 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you don't love her you should have never married her. you need to adjust to what she wants also. home and kids and family should be first priority. but if you don't love her save both of you the pain and hurt to come and get divorced and move on with your life. also everything i read is about you and what you want marriage is a 2 way street not a one way. so you better quit thinking all about you because anyone you marry wont work because everything is about you and not (us) per-say again get a divorce and move on but again quit thinking about you all the time!
2006-11-13 16:42:06 · answer #9 · answered by kameo_44 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start discussing your problems with her and give her some of your love.I think she will definitely understand as she too expects something from you.Good luck!
2006-11-14 12:02:53 · answer #10 · answered by Gayathri S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋