I was a good husband. She even says so. She was just "not happy." So she left and now is involved with some other guy. I am told by pepole that I am good looking so I can meet someone else and I do all of the time but I don't want to get involved with anyone because it would just be using them at this point for a release. When do you get over the anger? Do you ever? It has been six months now. Thanks for any helpful responses. ( I notice that some of you are practicing for a comedy routine and provide sarcastic jokes rather than actual responses. Often funny, though, I might add.)
2006-11-13 01:17:25 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have to be in touch with her to discuss matters concerning the kids.
2006-11-13 01:18:04 · update #1
We are not divorced. No one has filed any papers.
2006-11-13 01:25:19 · update #2
it takes awhile, sometimes a few years. (yeah, i know), but honestly would you rather that she stayed with you and lied about how she really felt?
don't both of you deserve to be TRULY loved by someone? it took a lot of courage to tell you she was unhappy and leave although right now i know you hate her guts! but it would have been easier to just pretend. and then you would be left loving a woman that didn't love you the way you should be loved.
it took me a long time to get over my divorce...i loved him, but i hated him at the same time. it suxs! but in time we came to realize that we were better off separated and we are friends now. we have a child together...so i am in constant contact with him. it's been 8yrs...and although some subjects are a bit touchy still....it's not so bad, and i don't hate him anymore. i might still be disappointed in some things...but the hate is gone.
hang in there...
2006-11-13 01:31:01 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well. I have been through that. I may be a woman but the feelings are sometimes the same. It is hard and you have to go through all the levels. Anger, Grief, Depression, Loneliness. The time frame is different for everyone. But on the upside eventually you'll become empowered and feel good. Are you angry cause she moved on so quick? I was. I had a child with mine too. Just remember that it is not the kids fault and be the best dad and man you can be. Don't push yourself into moving on. If it feels right go for it, but take your time. You can't control what others feel or how they act no matter how "perfect" you are. Sometimes people, especially the one we love do hurtful and unexplainable things. Try not to let it get you down forever. Hope all is well and this helps.
2006-11-13 01:31:48 · answer #2 · answered by mike_callie2003 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone is different. Some take more time. You probably don't ever get over it completely, but you should be able to get over it enough to get on with your life. If you are uncomfortable about meeting new people, that's fine. There's no law that says you have to.
I know you have to deal with her about the kids, and that can't be fun. But you can make is pleasant, at least. Just don't let any lingering feelings overwhelm you and beg her to come back each and every time you see her. That will repel her.
Take it easy, Do things for yourself, get to know yourself again and find out what you want out of life. If someone comes along, great, but if nobody does, you can deal with that.
I hope this was helpful. I usually give a sarcastic or funny answer but this question didn't call for one. Good luck
2006-11-13 01:26:13 · answer #3 · answered by kitten lover3 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hope you get a good answer because I would like to know too. I am in the same boat though only at 3 months out. Sometimes I can get my self into a real rage if I dwell on what happened (cheating and then being with the guy after I left town, luckily no kids just finance).
2006-11-13 01:26:00 · answer #4 · answered by Johnboy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
six months? You should be over the anger by now and moving on. You got divorced, you didnt have a spouse who died. Although some think of it as the same, its not. you will run into her. So smile and forget her. Move on and have fun and lots of laughter. Your also right for not wanting to get "involed" right now. That wouldnt be fair to the other person. But go out with different people.
ohh theres kids too...wow...what an omission...of course smile deal with the kids and leave the personal feeling about her alone...
if it gets to intense...hang up or leave...
2006-11-13 01:23:39 · answer #5 · answered by zsaffireblue2003 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The best advice anyone ever gave me was to start dating immediately. This may not be the best advice for everyone, but my problem was that I would always take him (the ex) back. Once I started dating, I wasn't so easy to manipulate. It will certainly take your mind off things. Just tell the women that you meet that you have just come out of a relationship, and that you want to take things very slowly. If they are worth your time, they will understand. So I guess what I am saying is distraction is the best way to not think about her, and if you stop thinking about her, you will start to get over the anger. I used to hate my ex-husband so much that I wanted him to die, but now (believe it or not) we have a great relationship, and are working together to raise our daughters...even though we have both remarried. If you haven't tried match.com, I highly recommend it. It will certainly take your mind off things. It is fun, and where I met my husband. Now I recommend it to everyone! Best wishes to you!
2006-11-13 01:29:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's going to take time to get over the anger of her leaving you. But make life easy on your children and behave in a civilized manner. They will thank you for it in a few years.
The best thing for you to do is to forgive her in your own mind and move on, treating her like anybody else that has ever done something wrong to you.
2006-11-13 01:23:54 · answer #7 · answered by victoryedge 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It seems like you are not ready to give up on your marriage yet.Have you and your wife tried to talk to anyone about your problems?It may be that your wife is depressed about some thing and needs to get some type of professional help.If you think that there is a chance of working your problems out and you still love her,just give it more time.
2006-11-13 01:36:20 · answer #8 · answered by zzum 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The feelings will always be there. Time and staying busy, getting inovled in a hooy or group, will temporialy take your mind of of it .. But all pain hels with time
2006-11-13 01:20:30 · answer #9 · answered by mssgtmidnight 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I dont think there is a time frame for getting over someone. It will happen. One day you wake up and realize that they dont matter anymore.
2006-11-13 01:20:55 · answer #10 · answered by mnwomen 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋