Why am I always like this...how do I fix this?

Question

I always like to be alone, without people around me, just sittting in front of the computer. Everytime my parents and my brother go out, I don't like going with them at all, in fact I barely go with them. Something else I have a problem with is that I don't really talk to people outside of the family, I'm awlays pretty shy and just look at the ground so that no one can see my face, with a cap on top to cover myself. In school everyone calls me a ghost because they don't even know I'm there and I don't talk to them either, I don't want to either, because all they talk about is soccer and bad stuff, and I'm not interested. Teachers always look at me and sorta see the face of mine which says: Help Me!

How do I fix this? I'm starting to feel like I'm alone in this world! Don't bother telling me to force myself to fix it, because it won't work, really.

By the way, im only 14

Answer 1

Are you happy being alone?

There are many people who are happy with their own company.
Being alone does not make you lonely.

Society is based on clique groups. People who band together for a variety of reasons, mostly just to have company.

I was a loner throughout my entire school years. (I am a female, 47 now.) I used to feel "funny" that I was not "in" or a part of the social scene, but when I tried it, as you said all I found was the kids wanted to talk about things that I didn't relate to:Smoking, drinking, sex and drugs. I wore my coat all the time too to cover my body because I was heavy.

The computer is alot of fun. It can be your own world. There is access to so many different places and things.

Before you allow yourself to become anxious over your choice to be alone, ask yourself, am I happy?

I did not become more sociable until I found the thing that made me want to be with people. That thing for me was music.
I wanted to entertain. Once I found I was happy entertaining people singing songs, I didn't mind being around them and I found we had something in common, music.

So you just be happy and someday you may find something you can share with others and this will lead you to find your place in the outside world.

In the meantime, there is no greater feeling than to enjoy your own company. It takes a lot more courage to stand alone and be your own person then it does to follow a crowd.

If you are not happy, then you can start by inviting someone you are comfortable with to share one of your activities.

Through out my life I have had only one friend at a time. Totalling 3 all together. 1 was in my childhood, 1 was in my early 20's, and 1 was in my 40's.

Answer 2

you have made the first and most important step. You came out and reached out and acknowledged that the situation needs to be resolved.

there is nothing wrong with you so there is nothing to fix. You just chose to be alone and now you've decided not to be.

boost you self esteem by working on the physical aspects first. Go shopping for new clothes and shoes and get something that will make you feel good. Ditch the cap and stop hiding. There is a beautiful and fun world out there despite the violence -- people still care about each other. you are cheating yourself of the opportunity to be a part of it.

When you go back to school tomorrow, lift your head up and smile. Say hello to everyone and see what happens.

The process of emerging from within will be slow and agonizing but it will be gratifying for you. Have fun and enjoy life. it is like they say, Too Short.

Love yourself and always look up to the sky.

An excerpt from Desiderata:

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore, be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams; it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful.


Strive to be happy

Answer 3

The others have given you great advice. There's nothing wrong with wanting to be alone. Everyone needs that at times. While you're in school, look around you. I bet there are others just like you and who would love to have someone to talk to about computers. As long as you are content and happy with your life, that's all that matters. I have found though that other people pick up on your demeanor. They may think you are unfriendly when you are actually only shy. Time will work this out for you. Good luck and be happy.

Answer 4

I would suggest if you are this uncomfortable with speaking to others, finding something you enjoy doing other than the computer, where you can talk about whatever interest you do have.

Talk to a councilor at your school about what interest you have, maybe your curriculum is boring you, and you are not finding a place to express yourself. That can be adjusted.

You're not alone, even in Yahoo Answers, you're not alone, you have the opportunity to surround yourself with all kinds of different view points and personalities.

No, you won't always be this way, you're just looking for your groove in life, and sometimes it takes a little more help from others to find it.

Answer 5

I know for a fact that you're not the only one who feels like this because I know someone personally who feels just like this. I'm thinking that you need to get out of the area you're in. I know that maybe you dont fit around your family too well, but you do need some people that you can connect with. Maybe it's just that where you go to school and where you live both revolve around certain things from that neighborhood that you just dont connect to. You say that you're on the computer a lot. Play an online game with some other random people, chances are if you both like the game so much you might have other things in common. Ask them for a screen-name, speak with them, then maybe you'll be able to talk to someone you enjoy talking to for a change. Hey! Maybe they even might go to your school, or a school nearby, which'll be great. *But make sure you're careful you dont try to meet up with any strangers* Hope I helped!

Answer 6

If you have a counselor at school, go have a good long talk with them. You might need to talk to someone who is familiar with the problems you're having. I really think you're probably just having natural hormone adjustment, but it's harder for some than others. Isolating yourself is not a good thing and if you really want some help, find it from a professional. Godloveya.

Answer 7

first of all are you ashamed of they way you look ? are you over weight ? what do you think your problem is ? haveing time with family and friends are very important,as well as school. try saying hello to someone that you see instead of putting your head down and hiding your face, I bet you are a beautiful person inside and out and are just very shy, always remember you are what you make of yourself, try just one time going to dinner or on a family outing, do something positive for someone , it helps to boost your self esteem, maybe you should talk to your family doctor, good luck to you, i wish you all the best, be proud of yourself

Answer 8

It's sounds like you've really go some sort of depression whether you realize it or not those are some of the signs. You need to make an appointment with your doctor and tell him what's going on so he can prescribe you something that will help you. Good Luck!

Answer 9

You have to start doing something on the stage in front of all the ppl and then,2-3 times,u will get bad response...Make yourself special to one thing like guitar or chess or some games and play that to the perfect in front of 2 ppl.get to knwo them like that.talk in front of the mirror,pratice well and start facing ppl.and let it start with your family.Ask your parents to help you

Answer 10

Hey!
1st of all u change Ur ID, this "losers get a life" is ridiculous.
Be positive about Ur self. Start loving and respecting Ur own self.
You have no problem except self confidence and self respect.
So act upon my advice.