Its been 5 months since me and my partner split up,and its been hard.I still carnt stop thinking about her.I know its sad but she is the first thing i think about in the morning and the last thing i think about at night,and i dream about her when i sleep.We was togeather over 7 years and we have a son together,she "lets" me see my son for a couple of hours a month at a contact center which isnt enough,but she wants all controll of him.She shafted me out of my home and took all our belongings that we had built up over 7 years.We were not married.It feels like this void in my life will not go away and when i think it is getting better i see her again at the contact center and it all comes flooding back.She and my son were my life and my soul,and i know there is just no going back.
Does it get any better or does the pain ease?
2006-11-12 23:53:22 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You need to become more assertive and take control. See an family law expert about getting at least visitation rights or even partial custody - you have to be practically a lunatic to not recieve some support from the court.
Once you start to be more assertive and take back control of your life you WILL feel better about everything.
2006-11-12 23:56:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm really sorry your going thru a bad time. People forget that when couples split and there are children involved, men feel just as bad.
Why are you seeing your son at a contact centre? Have you been violent in the past? Maybe this is why you have such little contact. If so, do something to prove you have changed. It will take time, dont expect a quick response.
Keeping your son away from you is a way of hurting you. It will get better, eventually. 5 months is not a long time. Give it more time and the hurt wont be so bad. Just remember, be there for your son whenever you can or when you are allowed to. Dont let him grow up thinking you dont care about him.
Legally, the law has changed with regards to dads. Even though you were not married, you still have rights. Get in contact with the Citizens Advice Bureau. They will be able to tell you your rights.
Good luck, I hope your pain eases.
2006-11-13 00:08:57 · answer #2 · answered by Dingle-Dongle 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maybe you are grieving what was instead of what can be. Am wondering why a contact center to visit your son? Sweetie life is not a bed a rose petals, there are some thorns. You had a child together so making contact will be long term for your son's sake. Why do you still have feelings if she shafted you out of a home and your belongings? Have you hit the anger stage yet...that always comes? You said there is no going back but you are reliving the "going back" when you see her. Could it be your own insecurity of being lonely? It feels safer to relive the past then look at the future. The past you know about, the future is scarey and uncertain because of your comfort zone. Now what is your comfort zone???
2006-11-13 00:01:54 · answer #3 · answered by frizzle1229 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Yes it does get better,it may seem a very long way off but there is always light at the end of the very long tunnel no matter how faint it may seem.Unfortunately I have been hurt too many times and I now feel as if my emotions have turned to stone as nothing or nobody can hurt me anymore,don't let this happen to you.The good thing that has come out of this relationship is your son and if that is all you have to hang on to then hold on tight,things really will get better.
2006-11-13 05:41:36 · answer #4 · answered by candyfloss 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Time helps, but doesn't heal completely. Especially when you're reminded by seeing her. Think about the reasons you aren't with her anymore. If you were faithful and she just left, she's not worth someone good. If there were other reasons, then, think about it and try to move on, at least go through the motions of trying to meet someone else.
2006-11-13 00:00:22 · answer #5 · answered by Vince 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry about your heart ache.It will take time then you learn to live with the pain or maybe one day you will meet some one else.Has for your son have you seen a solicator to get access.From what you have wrote you have a raw deal.Please see a solicator you may gain access to your son where you pick him up & take him out for the day its not right that your ex is calling all the shots.Goodluck
2006-11-13 00:01:23 · answer #6 · answered by Ollie 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
After the way she did you dirty, you shouldn't want to go back. Things didn't happen over night and you're not going to stop thinking about it over night. Time will ease the pain and with time, you'll find yourself not thinking about it so much. Things will get better, time will be your best friend.
2006-11-12 23:57:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
its been 6 months since my ex just upped and left, i was left with the babes. Its stupid i still get everything coming back evertime i see him, but as time goes by you notice that you start to think about them less and less, she will always be a big part of your past because she is the mother of your child - but she is your past -stop making her your present and future. You clearly love your son so try to see if you can get more access. i wish you luck.
2006-11-13 08:35:06 · answer #8 · answered by sugar 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
So sorry you're feeling this way - my partner walked out on me after eleven years together about eight months ago now and I just wanted to die. It feels like someone's ripped your heart out and poured salt in the cavity. Worst of all no-one else really understands how you feel.
I'm not saying that I'm over it - I'm not sure I ever will get over it - but in the last couple of months it's not as bad as it was and I find myself thinking about it less and less.
The key for me is keeping busy - just hang on in there and try to concentrate on enjoying your son.
Thinking of you
2006-11-12 23:59:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
it will ease in time and the pain in your heart will lighten with each passing day. but that is a shame the way you are being treated. even though you were not married to her , you still have legal rights. quit letting her walk all over you an get an attorney.
2006-11-12 23:57:34 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋