here is the thing: my bf asked me to give him oral and he was the first for me. Now, when it comes to me he told me that he is not willing to do it because I do not shave down there. I have a good reason for not doing it, and it is because I have a sensitive skin and I always get skin reaction even whe I shave the bikini line. He used to shave him self but after a while he didn't and I gave him oral anyway. We had an argument because of this, i told him that he never comes down there and he said it is because I don't shave, but he doesn't neither and I do it anyway. So he told me that he doesn't smell, and that really hurt me because I had a test weeks ago and i don't have any infections and I am cleaner than him for sure. Besides, he smells! but it is natural for our bodies to smell down there isn't it?. I feel really hurt and think he doesn't love me after all.
2006-11-12 21:21:44 · 12 answers · asked by amajerk 2 in Health ➔ Women's Health
Not all people, male or female, are comfortable with oral sex, and nobody should pressure another person into doing it.
The comments about your hair, smell, etc are just excuses. For some reason he doesn't want to come out and tell you that he doesn't want to do it, so he just comes up with silliness to "explain" why he doesn't want to. He may even have talked himself into believing these excuses, but that is all they are.
If you're otherwise okay with the relationship, then stop asking him to go down on you. But if this is a relationship breaker, then so be it. If you shave, he'll complain about the rash/zits/whatever. Either you go along with his squeamishness or you break up. Shaving is not going to solve anything.
And if you enjoy going down on him but don't really care about his doing the same for you, that's okay - there does not have to be a linkage between giving and getting oral. That is up to the two of you. But don't pressure him or let him pressure you into doing anything that makes the other person uncomfortable.
2006-11-13 04:25:58 · answer #1 · answered by Maple 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is behaving this way and saying things like "you smell" you should cut him loose. Obviously he isn't mature enough for a relationship. If you don't have an infection and you're keeping clean then any odor's are just natural odors that he is too inexperienced to recognize. As for shaving, although some people prefer it, there is no reason to demand it especially when there are reasons why you can't do it. you might (in the future) choose a middle ground like trimming. It may be worth your while. As for Him getting oral, if he's not shaving, but demanding for you to, I'd hold back and not do him! That's just me though. Good luck finding someone who's worth your time and who can appreciate you!
2006-11-12 22:05:38 · answer #2 · answered by when's my next vacation??? 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Nobody can say if he really loves you or not, but it is clear he is not a considerate man. Not every man is like that. There are ones who like the odor, the bush, or however it is down there. Also, if you don't like giving it, don't do it for his sake. You have to like what you do, it is the nature of the thing. And, if he is suggesting a wax, tell him to try getting a wax himself first. Do you know how much it hurts? And last, if he is playing the jerk, why are you getting hurt? Just name him for what he is and go on with your life.
2006-11-12 21:37:14 · answer #3 · answered by Totally Blunt 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some men dont like the actual thought of oral but they dont condone it for themselves. If your not happy with the situation then tell him. You dont have to do anything that your not happy with. If he says that its because you dont shave that area, tell him to shave his or your not. Our bodies do have a natural odour in that area and its nothing to be ashamed of. But try other ways of foreplay buy yourself a toy to use during sex, this sometimes works out better for both of you. Hope you sort it out, but its not the end of the world. xxx
2006-11-12 21:27:18 · answer #4 · answered by spensmum 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You both have to enjoy it. It's better for him if you're willing, which it sounds like you're hesitant. It's obviously going to be more enjoyable for you if he likes it, which he doesn't. this will continue to be a problem. Time to have a heart to heart with him and don't provide oral if you don't get what you want. He may be a jerk like others have said and it may be time to move on.
2006-11-12 21:45:40 · answer #5 · answered by Randy W 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I feel that if you don't like doing it, don't..
he should not have hurt you or forced you to do it.
I feel that respect should still take priority in a relationship.
Take a back seat for a while and don't give in to him too much
2006-11-12 22:17:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he won't do it to you, then stop doing it to him. Some guys just don't like to do that. They just find excuses to if they are not good enough at it or are afraid to do it in general. He sounds to me like an *** ans you shouldn't let him walk all over you like that. Talk to him about it.
2006-11-12 22:53:53 · answer #7 · answered by ceecee_41004 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
instead of shaving with a razor, just use electric clippers ... they will not irritate your skin.
does he want it TOTALLY gone?? like, waxed? well if you explain that you'll get ingrown hairs and acne down there - i think he wont make such requests.
2006-11-12 21:25:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
he is very selfish... and if i were you i wont go down on him.. u both have to compromise cause its selfish for him to want u to go down on him but he doesnt want to on u... it cant be like that, hes stupid... and what i do is cut my hair with a sizzors, trim it as low as possible, till it even look like i shaved it but i didnt... and u dont have to worry about razor bumps!! see if that helps
2006-11-13 04:22:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Dump him; he is a selfish brute.
2006-11-12 21:55:43 · answer #10 · answered by ancalagon2003 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋