I met an amazing girl about four months ago, who I had been speaking to over the phone for 3 months. I asked her to marry me on the day I met her, and we married a month later. I know we can both be criticised for being impulsive and foolish, or alternatively praised for being romantic and spontaneous, but my question is not about that. We both love each other a lot and she is really an amazing character, with just the kind of loving, intelligent, refined and fun personality I could wish for in a wife. However, the physical attraction between us is fading fast. We look at each other sometimes and the spark we had in those first few days is not there, and we are having sex less and less, although there is still some attraction there. I think the relationship is becoming more like brother and sister rather than husband and wife. Should we persist with the marriage or get it annulled, which we can still do? Whatever happens we will be lifelong friends.
2006-11-12 21:14:55 · 16 answers · asked by asylumseeker 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
So if you split up, then what's gonna happen? You're gonna find somebody you can have amazing sex with but a horrible relationship? What's better? Sex isn't everything you know. You don't have to be at it every night. If you don't have sex for a while then it will be amazing when you do get down to it. Otherwise it is just like eating chocolate for the sake of eating it. Be happy that you have such a soul mate, it is so hard to find somebody like that. It is more important than sex. Think 30-40 years ahead! Do you want to be on your own or do you want to be with a real companion? I say you work at it, agree that you have sex at some intervals and no pressure from either of you. Spontaneity is, like you said before, something to be praised. Spointaneity in sex is the real key to a long relationship. Many marriages fail because the partners aren't friends at all. They are just former sex partners but they can't find each other interesting anymore. So just think about it. If it ain't broke, don't fix it!
2006-11-12 21:33:45 · answer #1 · answered by Luvfactory 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The "spark" you speak of I call the "honeymoon period" when you can't get enough of eachother. Little by little the hanging from the chandelier experience lessens and then you start to get to know eachother in a deeper way. You found wondeful qualities in her, ones everone looks for in a spouse. This is the person you will spend the rest of your life with not just have sex with. The physical part of a marriage has to be worked on like anything else. You'll go from having sex all day to sitting around and watching Law and Order marathons together for hours enjoying eachothers company. I think your on the right path. Do some gratitude you found such an amazing person to share your life with. Also, share with her your feelings, she might be having the same ones. Good luck!
2006-11-13 06:14:18 · answer #2 · answered by denise b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, do annule the marriage. Marriage has only little to do with love. You may still stay together without being married. Perhaps the sexual attraction will encrease after you separate for a while. How old are you? I think you have your lifes before you and if nothing else troubles you...to hell with the marriage certificate!
2006-11-13 05:21:18 · answer #3 · answered by Jirina B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out of it before you both begin hating each other - or worse, bring an unwanted child into the world. You both went into it way too fast and now are regreting it. Getting an annullment will keep you on friendly terms.
2006-11-13 05:20:32 · answer #4 · answered by miladybc 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should try to get that spark back.What attracted you to her in the first place?If you can't get the spark back you 2 should cut your loses. Sometimes the excitement of being spontaneous turns people on and when that is gone what is left. And if you get a good friend out of it than it was worth it.Good luck!!!!
2006-11-13 05:20:20 · answer #5 · answered by kitten 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It was an immature decision to get married in the way you describe - it's hardly surprising that this has been the outcome is it ? And don't be so sure that whatever happens you will be friends - life is seldom so easy.
2006-11-13 05:35:07 · answer #6 · answered by misbehave4me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is why most people take their time to get to know someone and find out if they are compatible. this way when sex fades in a relationship the companionship will carry you through. you need to decide if you just want to be friends. good luck
2006-11-13 06:14:40 · answer #7 · answered by kelsey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
carry on i think all relationships are going to go through that stage at some point it's just when you realise that you care as well as fancy them. You guys should stick to it you sound like you're good together so just work on it, no relationship is going to be easy the whole time
2006-11-13 05:19:15 · answer #8 · answered by String of pearls 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find that spark again. Marriage counseling or something to make the relationship work.
2006-11-13 05:18:18 · answer #9 · answered by pacific_crush 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's an old saying, but a very true saying, "marry in haste, repent at leisure".
2006-11-14 05:36:24 · answer #10 · answered by animalwatch 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋