My mom raised me to stick to my own race. I came into my daughters room and found a black boy sitting on her bed. I asked him to leave which he did. I laid my hand on my daughter in anger and feel bad. I told her not to trust black boys and grounded her. I soon found out the boy was 20 and my daughter 16 and tried to have him arrested. MY daughter threatens to run away if he is arrested so i am confused. My only daughter is not gonna ruin the good genes we have in our family with some african american juice. Am I wrong to think this and should I have this boy arrested?
2006-11-12 18:45:16 · 54 answers · asked by Christopher 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
i ws raised trhe same way! if it was my daughted my hu8sband would have SHOT him and KILLED her... i dont think its wrong...partially because i dont think the races were ment to mix... but thats just me... my own dad would have shot me but i was never that stupid... call the cops on him and tell her if she wants to run away then HELP her pack her stuff, she will feel threatned and start crying... i dont know why but that AlWaYs seems to work!
2006-11-12 18:50:52 · answer #1 · answered by tiffany 2 · 5⤊ 17⤋
I have to say my mom felt the same... and so did her father... which I think is completely against how she raised me... she told me to LOVE EVERYONE, to TREAT OTHERS HOW YOU WOULD WANT TO BE TREATED. GET A LIFE LADY. You will ruin the relationship with your daughter forever if you lay another hand on her and forbid her to see black men. There is NOTHING wrong with it at all. The only problem there is that he is 20 and she is 16. But then again, my husband is 28 and I am 24... we met a few yrs ago... but still... that would be the same age difference... no big deal now huh?
There are MANY respectable black men out there- as well as women. Your genes are NOT better than theirs. We are ONE- we all have hearts. LOVE EVERYONE, and get that hate out of you. This is how bad my mom was- my husband is WHITE, but he is darker complected... well, she asked me what nationality he was! He's freaking IRISH! lol She was confused when she first met him because she thought he wasn't white. DUMB.
also- my Mom hit me a LOT... and it did nothing but make me go away- far away... you don't do that. You will definitely lose her. So is all of this really worth it? Or do you not care enough about your daughter. Sit down with her and talk to her- let her know you love her and are sorry for how you reacted. Talk to her about sex- how you can get AIDS, stds, pregnant-even on birth control pills, or with condoms, etc.
Goodluck.
2006-11-13 15:37:03 · answer #2 · answered by m930 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
LOOK beneath the surface
EVERYONE has the same coloured blood; we all bleed the same
skin colour is of no importance - the important thing is how your daughter's friends are treating her
as someone else said if you trace your family history back far enough you just may discover that you have ancestors of a different coloured skin
think about HITLER-- he was WHITE - but look at what he did to millions of people
it is your sort of intolerance & bigotry that leads to the problems we have in this world
also is your daughter just friends/mates with this lad or is she attracted to him romantically? if all this lad was doing was sitting on the bed & talking then you have no grounds to have him arrested
take the time to get to know ALL of your daughters friends;
yes at 16 a 4 year age gap may be a bit much - however in another couple of years it will be nothing
Also teenage girls are generally more mature than boys of the same age - so therefore some do seek out friendships with older people
it is important that you stay calm & encourage her to bring her friends home
2006-11-13 00:09:50 · answer #3 · answered by fairypelican 6 · 2⤊ 4⤋
I think the race thing is a bit biased. However, considering he is 4 years older than your daughter. Not to mention he is an ADULT and she is a teenager. You could definitely get him arrested. But watch out for your daughter. Don't do anything that would make her run away.Teenagers are confused human beings. Try to explain to her not to date Adults until she is one.
Hope this helps.
2006-11-12 19:28:39 · answer #4 · answered by Hariko T 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
In my country to be racist like you would mean you may be locked up and I am from the western world .Color means nothing just a color ever watch"Guess who's coming to dinner" with Sidney Portiay a very old movie but seems still relevent today .If you taught your daughter right from wrong then the age difference is of no importance either my wife of 30 years was 4 years younger than me .And at 16 she doesnt deserve to be hit by any man let alone her father .For God sake take a serious look in the mirror I bet you're not perfect .
2006-11-12 19:03:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
there are two issues in discussion. the first issue is tht the guy is from a different ethnicity. the second issue is tht your daughter being 16 and is involved in a relationship.
for the first issue, i think it is entirely up to you on whether you would accept a black to be your son-in-law (i know.. over your dead body). but on the other hand, you need to reckon that there is no such thing as racial discrimination in this point of time, for goodness sake , we are in the 21st century already (you remind me of Lincoln's era).. your daughter has all the right to choose her man, be it black or white. you will have to respect that (else you risk losing a daughter).
on the other hand you did the right thing smacking your daughter. she is way to young to be alone in her bedroom. however, you did the right thing wrong. you should have told her that she was way to young to be doing tht... spare her your ideology on the black-or-white issue; she may think that you are weird.
tell your daughter that you disapproves of this relationship because she is way too young. leave the ethnic issue on the side. you should not call the cops on the guy because he did not do anything to your daughter (unless you caught him with his pants down, did you?). let him go with a very stern warning. tell him tht your daughter is underage and that you could call the cops on him if he ever sees your daughter again. that will scare the **** out of him.
you need to talk to your daughter and reason with her. but remember, leave the ethnic thing aside.
2006-11-12 18:59:10 · answer #6 · answered by caterpillar 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Uh, maybe I'm not taking the whole "black boy sitting on the bed" thing seriously enough. By you're wanting to have him arrested, though, I imagine your daughter and him were in the middle of something intimate.
While its possible that he charmed her and seduced his way up to her bedroom, you have to consider the possibility of it being the other way around. Your daughter being in her teens may be rebelling against your "don't date outside your race" rule or might be experimenting.
Instead of persuing the boy, you should sit down with your daughter soon and explain yourself better. Explain your reasoning for not wanting her to be intimate with anyone outside her race, explain why you distrust blacks, and that the difference is age is wrong from a maturity standpoint.
I wish you the best of luck.
2006-11-12 18:55:17 · answer #7 · answered by Knathan the Knight 3 · 2⤊ 3⤋
I think you should be irate that your 16 year old daughter had a man/boy in her room of any age and race. She should not be sexually active with anyone. Depending on where you live a 20 year old man having sex with a 16 year old may be illegal. I am disgusted that you're more concerned with the man's race than the possibility of your CHILD being sexually active and sleeping with older men. You need to put your racial biases aside and take a good look at what the real issues are here.
2006-11-12 18:52:26 · answer #8 · answered by Carole 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Christopher, tread lightly. Just because your mom raised you to discriminate, that doesn't mean pass it on to your child. Secondly, don't ever hit her like that man! You'll jack her up for life. You might not want her with a black man, but she may end up in a domestically abusive relationship with a white guy and think that's ok because of your actions. Dude, she's 16. Fuss because a guy was in the bedroom, not because of his color. Explain to her why it is important to carry herself as a lady so she will be treated that way. You never know, it could be a black man that treats her like the queen that she is. Get hold of that anger issue, man, she has to be able to come to you with anything she's dealing with. She's less likely to get involved with a jerk if you show her how she's to be treated (you have to treat her well). Be encouraged and do some soul searching before you talk to her. These are perilous times and she needs her daddy.
2006-11-12 18:58:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
What is this 1853? You need to lose your ignorance and prejudices. I will agree with you as far as the age thing, however if he was white would this be an issue for you? Did you actually catch them having sex because if you did not, you can't do anything by going to the police. But your daughter has every right to go to the police because you laid a hand on her. I am really bothered by this question. "Ruin the good genes in your family" you have no good genes. You should have never procreated. I just hope your daughter or other children aren't as hateful.
2006-11-12 18:51:27 · answer #10 · answered by I carry your heart with me... 5 · 9⤊ 4⤋
I know about the race thing, but i dont understand why you say you know about trusting black boys. What boys can you trust this may be a bad question for me to be answeing but maybe she is just friends with this boy. And ppl wonder why their kids run away or do things behind our backs. You didnt even give her time to talk to her before your laid your hands on her. You should be feel sorry for what you have done. and i will stop writing this because it makes me sick
2006-11-12 18:52:38 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋