Is it normal for a deaf person to consider themselve inferior and not as worthy as anyone else?

Question

One of my friend know this deaf guy. She told me this deaf guy have accomplish a lot of things in his life. He has travel a lot and lived in a couple countries. He was MVP for his water polo team at university. He's currently working toward master degree. He's very good looking and have awesome taste in fahion.

I was shocked to learn he consider himself unwanted and shut away by the social. Also she told me he feel so shameful about being unsuccessful with relationship inside USA. She says he has told her he feel more at home in Europe than USA due to how they treat him. Also he seems very paranoid around anyone showing any interest in him and spent most of his time by himself.

Is this normal in deaf people? Is he like this because he's deaf?

Answer 1

Well it's not that abnormal for hearing people, to be honest. Sounds like your friend is also suffering from either culture shock or reverse culture shock (you don't mention where he's from). That can also make you depressed and withdrawn. You also don't explain how he communicates, so some of what I'm saying here may not apply.

I can tell you as someone who has been gradually losing my hearing for several years (I can still hear most things that are said to me, and my condition may be greatly improved with surgery), it has had a definite impact on my own social life. When I don't understand what someone has said, I often say, "Oh, OK" or "That sounds good." Later they might get offended (sometimes really offended) because I don't remember what they told me. Well, the truth is, I never heard what they told me, but asking people to repeat themselves gets annoying even to me! You find yourself drawn to loud, obnoxious people and avoiding the nice, soft-spoken ones.

Imagine that someone seems interested in you, but you only caught bits and pieces of the last three sentences they said. How big a fool are you going to look if you missed the part about them having a significant other? How much do you feel like risking the next move in that situation?

A great deal of communication is very subtle, like tone of voice, especially in flirtation. If you can't hear the tone of voice, or you can't even hear all of the words that are said, it does make you a little bit paranoid. Communicating with other people is frustrating and confusing, so you just start to stay at home and turn the TV up or turn on the closed captioning.

Put that on top of a foreign culture, or your own culture that seems foreign to you after you've been abroad a few years, and the situation you describe is perfectly understandable.

Answer 2

yeah... i don't know whether this is normal or not, and i can say that i feel exactl the same as this guy, coz I've got a hearing problem too, that's very bad, u know, I know I'm doing pretty good at school, but still i feel unwanted, unworthy, coz beside having a bad hearing my physical condition isn't too good, i can't speak normally (my pronounciation, I mean), my fam supports me always but still it dosn't change the whole things.. i think i have the very same feeling as the guy, i too don't like to be social... i think my sister and cousins are more perfect than I'm, i'm being considered as an inferior, I hate it when I have to tell my listening teachers or my new friends that i have problems in listening... or when I have to do some oral tasks at school, I just can;t. i'm 14 by the way...

Answer 3

I would think that he would be that way even if he could hear.
Most of the deaf people I know are accomplished in any field they are in and if they are insecure about their deafness, it doesn't stop them from making the most of their lives. Chances are your friend has a chip on his shoulder and uses his deafness as an excuse to keep from having to commit to another person.

Answer 4

people consider themselves inferior for having small penises, so it's definitely plausible for deaf people, blind people etc. to exhibit the same characteristics of inadequacy.