A baby girl from a one night stand?

Question

Heres the info:
Met girl at club,had sex with her 3 times in 1 night, now we didn't use protection. Get phone call yesterday she had a baby who is 4 mths old & she said it is mine. She told me she thought she could do this alone, but says its hard & needs my help. She said it took her 3 mths 2 find me. I really liked this girl we stayed up all night talking about everything, I wanted 2 start a relationship with her but she got scared. Now she tells me that all she wants is for me 2 be in our daughters life. She offered me a dna test if i wanted. She said she kept this from me coz we are young I am 23 & she is 24. I told her I'd support her and the baby even if she's not mine. I now have a g/f & don't know if I should tell her. The girl told me that it has 2 be mine coz she hasn't slept with anyone for 18 months & she was on the pill so she doen's no why she fell pregnant. I am so confused and need advice.

Answer 1

First off: Be honest with your current girlfriend. That way she can learn to trust you. She might even be able to HELP you think through this (if she's one of those nice types of gals).

Second off: Go for the DNA test. Honestly. That way you can prove it is yours. She's been "iffy" for the past however long it's been since yall had the one night stand, so it's hard telling if she's telling the truth. If the child is yours, then you can go forward with helping her raise the baby. If the child isn't yours, then if you want to save your relationship with your current girlfriend, I would advise you to stay away from the one night stand girl.

Thirdly: GOOD LUCK.

Answer 2

If you had sex with this girl before you were with your present girlfriend, then your girlfriend really doesn't have any reason to be mad at you when you tell her the truth. If your girlfriend is worth keeping, then she will understand- whatever you do, don't put your daughter on hold, just because you are afraid of upsetting your girlfriend- I promise you will regret it later when she grows up and wants nothing to do with you, while you are wishing that you could go back in time and change things. You have the opportunity now, so make sure you don't pass it up. However, if you aren't sure which one of the girls (baby's mom or your girlfriend) that you want to be with, I would suggest being honest and telling both of them that you are confused. If you still have feelings for your baby's mom, then you should break it off with your girlfriend. It's not fair to her that you allow her to become more attached to you, when you know that you may break her heart later on- you know you wouldn't want someone to disrespect you like that. Plus, if you're not sure and you break it off, you stand a better chance of showing your baby's mom that you are serious about wanting a relationship with her, and she'll have an easier time trusting you knowing that you're not a cheater, because if you didn't go behind your girlfriends back to be with her, then chances are you won't go behind her back to be with someone else. I hope everything works out, just make sure you take care of your baby girl, because she really needs you.

Answer 3

Take the DNA test first. Then if it is your child you should be an active part of her life, including financial responsibility. That doesn't necessarily mean that you need to be with the mother. You can be partners in raising the child without being a couple. You should also not keep this from your current girlfriend. Lies tend to back-fire.

Answer 4

sleep on it
if your the father do the right thing!
if not its really your choice your gf is prob going to be pissed(dont talk to her till you know the DNA test, because there a differance from telling ur gf your helping out a girl with her baby and helping out a girl with your baby)
but if she leaves you for this
she wasnt right for you and really maybe this is a sign you should maybe look at this girl who had your baby
i dont beleive in god but i do think everything happens for a reason
and no matter what happens
if the baby is your you are always going to have a beautiful girl in your life and will think nothing but great thing of you
you should email me and tell me how it goes & if you need to talk
i love helping people it is a joy in my life im only 16 but if you need someone to talk to send me an email
hope the best for you!

Answer 5

First off I would say take the DNA test before you tell your current girlfriend.Because if the baby girl is not yours you probably are not considering dateing the baby's mother are u? if u are considering dating the baby's mother tell your current girlfriend about the kid.

Answer 6

AWWW! It is so refreshing to see a man who actually wants to be a part of their child's life! In this day and age of fathers abandoning their children, I applaud you! I think you should tell you g/f and if she doesn't like it, kick her to the curb because your child should come before any woman. If the mother doesn't want a relationship, just be there for your daughter! Thank you so very much for wanting your child!

Answer 7

Take the DNA test. Just to cover yourself. I have known women that have put men through hell just to find out years later it was not their child. If the baby is in fact yours than tell your girlfriend. She will either be supportive or leave. Either way you do not want to have a child come looking for her daddy down the line and her mom told her you didn't want to be there.

Just to make my point about your girlfriend. I married my husband and he had a daughter already. It can still work out with her if you want it to.

Good Luck to you.

Answer 8

I think A) its really sweet of you to say you'll support them even if its not your child, and if she doesnt want a relationship with you there may be a reason and YES tell your girlfriend she deserves to know that there is alot of drama going on or even if its not really drama its part of your life.

Answer 9

It very well could be yours. Take her up on her offer for DNA testing. You should tell your gf. She will want to know especially if she wants a serious relationship with you. If she loves you she will stick around. I knew about the possibilty of my hubby having a 4 year old son and I still love my hubby just as much and can't wait to meet his son!

Answer 10

Yes

Answer 11

First a man should care for and nuture his child 2nd if you have a girl and want her to be apart of your and your dauthers life you owe her the truth if she is a truly caring and compassionate person she will accept it and if not your child should always be your first concern.