I just got a call not to long ago from a distant relative inviting me to a family reunion this coming up weekend. i haven't seen them in years, some because we dont get along. but thats not it. i kind of want to go, but theres two people there that i dont want to face. my dad and brother. i was raped by them years ago. should i go, and face my past. or just forget it?
2006-11-12 17:25:21 · 14 answers · asked by Perfectly Insane 5 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
you should go. just because of your dad and brother, you are going to ignore all your other relatives? sweetie, that's just not fair to your mom and other relatives, is it?
if you really are scared, just tell your mom or somebody you are close to in your family and maybe they can help you. in what way? oh, maybe they can always be with you, and gently but firmly lead you away when your dad or brother confront you. remember, this is a FAMILY reunion. it's not just about your dad, brother and you. it's about other relatives as well. worst come to the worst, you can just ignore them, and walk away when they start to approach you. if they start being rough with you, scream or do something to attract attention, and when they let go of you, immediately leave. make a believable excuse, or, if you can't think of any, just tell everybody, right there and then, why is it that you need to leave. it'll be alright. good luck, sweetie, and don't worry. everything will be alright. who knows? your dad and brother might have changed for the better.
2006-11-12 17:34:10 · answer #1 · answered by LAVELLE! :] 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I'm not sure I am understanding this. Okay, so your 'dad' and brother raped you years ago, and you now think maybe you should go Face Your Past. Why, are you some kind of super hero or... what ? Whenever someone is cruel or hurtful to you, you must be Brave and Strong and Take Matters Into Your Own Hands, so that you can Face Your Fears ?? Get a therapist, face your fears with her. Now, if you just want to go and play like everything's fine, and you've forgotten that silly little past incident, by all means go. After all, it was a long time ago.
2006-11-13 01:58:53 · answer #2 · answered by Hey Polly 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do need to face your past, but that does not mean you have to literally face your rapists, at a family reunion! I think that would be too much right now, having to look at them, even talk to them, and act like everything is fine? No way, you should not be subjected to that again. What does your therapist say about it?
2006-11-13 19:37:10 · answer #3 · answered by josephine 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you go do not go along, you need the moral support. personally i would go and stay with a relative that i want to see and visit with some of the others while in town, avoid the actual reunion. your dad and brother are not worth your time. do not let them have this kind of power over you.
2006-11-13 01:32:16 · answer #4 · answered by misse 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a hard one! ...If you want to go, then go! I had to go back to a place I hadn't been for almost 15years. My mom passed away and I knew my uncle would be there, and he did the same to me..when I saw him he approached me to say he was sorry for my loss.. and I "froze" ..I turned away from him and kept on walking. All day I ignored him..everybody knew why.
But, I'm glad I went, because now it's over.
I'd say face your fears..but really .. really think about it first.
It's probably best to get it over with, but don't be nice to them and ignore them no matter what anyone thinks of you, as they do not deserve your attention.
Best of luck and take care.
2006-11-13 01:32:45 · answer #5 · answered by gemma 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you really want to go, then go for it, but if not, I'd stay away if it were me. I'd report those two to the police, because they caused you pain your whole life because of them, and because it would help to raise the stat that a mere 2-5% of rapes are reported to the authorities. The police are really nice! Good luck!
2006-11-13 01:30:23 · answer #6 · answered by High On Life 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just forget it, some memories and fears aren;t worth the pain of reopening wounds that will be too painful to deal with again.
Move on, and don't look back. You don't need family like that.
2006-11-13 01:27:48 · answer #7 · answered by Ms B 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just forget them. Keep moving forward. It doesn't sound like it's a good idea to go back...
2006-11-13 01:29:45 · answer #8 · answered by ♥LostHeart♥ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think you should resolve the issue with them..
go there, face them with confidence.. be strong.. resolve the issue.. because you wont be able to live your life properly, you will always be living in fear and hate...
after that you will learn to forgive or atleast live in peace..
have you tried councelling?
wish you all the best dear
2006-11-13 01:33:23 · answer #9 · answered by <%little miss 3asal%> 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Raped by your father and brother? Shouldn't they be in jail?
2006-11-13 01:27:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋