I might have a baby from a one night stand?

Question

Heres the info:
Had 1 night stand, last sept, girl rings me yeaterday & tells me she has my daughter who is 4 mths old. Tells me she can't do it on her own and needs me to help. No we didn't use protection & it was only 3 times in 1 night. She said we can have dna if I want. I only met her once & can't even remember what she looks like. She emailed me pics of baby & she looks like me. I don't want 2 upset her & ask for the test as she is really depressed. I didn't even think she'd remember my name. She says she doesn't just want money, she wants me 2 be part of their lives. I now have a g/f & don't know how 2 tell her about this. I wanted 2 have a relationship with this girl who has my kid but she made the choice not to. I just have this feeling that this girl is not lying 2 me. What should I do? I really want 2 help her out with the baby, she said she has noone 2 support her. She lives far away & wants me 2 come & see her & "our" baby. I am so confused right now, I don't no what 2 do

She said she never told me until now because she didn't want 2 ruin my life by dumping a kid on me. I am 23 & she is 24. I really liked her when I met her. I told her that I will send her stuff for the baby. Am I doing the right thing?

We also did both want 2 have children, but we never thought it would be this way.

Answer 1

OK you need to do what you feel is right. I think that you need to tell your current g/f a/s/a/p you don't want her finding out later from someone else. It is so nice to see you wanting to help out this woman and her child. But I do think it would be wise for you to get a paternity test done. She is the one that offered you one. I really don't know what else to tell you, except you sound like a really great guy and her and her daughter would be very lucky to have you in their lives.

Answer 2

I am sorry you have had to go through all this but you need to put all brakes on. You do not know if it is your child or not, yet.
Any girl that sleeps around(and I don't mean this to sound judgemental) could have a baby with any guy.
I know you have a lot of things to decide, but try not to worry about all this until the DNA tests come back(and I would suggest that you do have them). Some women can be very crafty.

You are in a relationship with another girl now and(if you are the father) you need to let this girl know.

She cannot force you to be together with her just for the sake of the child. Sadly, that would not last or work out.

Wait until the tests and then work on telling her and sorting through these questions.
best of luck and try not to worry too much! I have seen the Maury Povich show(here in Australia) and have seen how so many young women make so many mistakes. :)

Answer 3

Do you want to be this babys daddy??? THEn that is all you need. You do not need a DNA test to prove that. If you still have feelings for this girl also, maybe stepping into your daughters life is the first step to a relationship with her mother. An any case, its a baby at stake with two parents. Every kid has two parents, and its sad in this day that millions dont get to have both parents support. Do what is right for the baby, regardless of no relationship or not. Be in that babys life.

Answer 4

You must have the DNA to establish paternity to the child and will need those documents to have the birth certificate amended to reflect you as the father. It's best you do it this way and on your own and immediately.. Here's why - should the mother go for financial aid i.e., welfare, the first question they will ask is who is the father. From there they will take you to court to collect back child support. this could be years down the road. How would you like to be married to another women and 10 years from now find out your being sued for 10 years for child support. Now that will really mess up your life. As for your girl friend, Tell her, if she has any interest in you she would want to see that your standing up for your mistakes and being a man and not a run away dead beat..

Answer 5

First thing.. you have got to get a DNA test. How can that upset her? She kept this secret from you for 13months. (That should be a crime)

Second thing..do not send her anything until the DNA results come back (I don't care how much the child looks like you)

If the DNA test comes back certain for you to be the father, then tell you gf. Then decide to try to make a family with the one nighter or to just send her child support payments for the next 18 years.

Men are going to stick it anywhere they can. I think it is up to the female to protect herself. As far as I am concerned there is no such thing as an "accident" this girl probably wanted a child, otherwise she would have been on birth control.

Answer 6

I hate to sound rude but if she ruined her life by getting pregnant ..then she should ruin your's by telling you about this baby. I know it takes two and I applaude you for wanting to be a part of this baby's life, as so many of the fathers out there dont..

But I do think you have a right to a DNA and she should only understand why. Once you have this done talk to her about it and if youre serious about this family thing then you need to talk to her about it to. You also shouldn't feel obligated to be with her just cause she has your baby..if you have somone else and you love this person then by all means just be with her and support your kid. It's all really up to you I just think you need to be 100% possitive this is your baby. Before you give any money and or love to this child. GOOD LUCK to you...

Answer 7

You sound like a really sincere guy. Thank goodness for that! I agree with the person above, gently ask for the DNA test. It will ease your mind and your heart once you find out if the baby is yours for sure. And keep in mind that the mother of the baby offered! You were only with her once, so you truly don't know her that well.

If your girlfriend is half as good as you, she will understand and support you. Because you need the support right now while you learn about your new baby girl.

Answer 8

Not to be mean to the lady but YES she does want money. If she says she can not do it on her own that is key words for I need help with money.

You said you dont even think she remember your name but knew enough to find you and call you. She remembers your name.

GET A DNA test. Do you really want to start paying and taking care of a child and fall in love with it to find out later that it is not yours.??

If you had this one night stand before your current then she should understand, if she doesnt then you need to no be dating her.

Also you need to understand all babys look like everyone else. I bet I could send you baby pic of myself I bet you would look like my father.

Thinking she is too depressed for you to ask for a DNA test is not a good enough reason.

Answer 9

I would get a DNA test before you do anything, even if you have to pay for it. This may or may not be the real thing. Then you can decide what to do. If the DNA shows you are not the father, then just pass it up. But if it does show that you are, then make a decision, and go to her and help out. It is nice if you can help her, but without a DNA test, you are just guessing. You must get the test first.

Answer 10

I know she sounds sincere, but don't be stupid. Go out to see her and get the DNA testing done. You pick the lab and set it up. When you get there act happy and try to be loving. You'll likely get to bang her again while you're out there. So the worst case is you had a cheap vacation and got some. This time be sure to wrap that rascal.

When you get the lab results, if you're not the father, you go and disappear - consider her another nut job. If you are the father, then you tell you girlfriend the truth and see if she will stand by you. If your girlfriend checks out on you, then you are better off - you don't want to be with a woman that won't stand by you and it is better to find out now. If she agrees to stand by you, then she is a good woman and you should consider yourself very lucky.