Can i give my teenage son up for adoption?

Question

my son put a knife to my back tonight and threatened to stab me...i dont know how much more i can take...he was diagnosed bipolar two years ago and it just keeps getting worse...and for all the self righteous ones who might answer with well have you tried this or have you tried that...well duh, yes i have tried everything that i am capable of trying...i would not even be considering this horrible prospect if i hadnt...he has been in and out of the hospital, intensive weekly counseling, medications, NOTHING works....we have no doors left in our apartment because he has smashed them all in...along with holes in every wall and kitchen cupboards ripped off...to answer other common questions...cant afford to send him to bootcamp i dont receive child support, can barely afford to pay the bills...dont have any family to help either so if any one has some non self righteous suggestions i would appreciate the help

Answer 1

I'm sorry for the abuse you're taking on this post. Unless you've been in this situation, it's impossible to understand. People don't get that a mental hospital will keep him just long enough to stabilize him and then out he goes. Jail is no place for a mentally ill person.

Sometimes there are group homes that can help. You can call each one to see what their referral process is. Even if there are no privately-owned ones, You better believe your state is running several that they don't publicize. Mostly likely you will need a state mental health caseworker to help put it through channels. Remember, don't take "no" from the caseworker, they can't give you a "yes" in the first place, it needs to go over their head and they know it. And don't believe the lie that you have to give up custody.

A big problem is, where does he go when he's 18? The state would love for you to think you're trapped with him forever, and that's just what's going to happen if he doesn't go "into the system" early.

Answer 2

oh boy do i know what u are going through, have the same problems. done everything out there possible. mine was diagnosed with conduct disorder, they told me to cross my fingers and hope for the best. he has been in detention many times. he has been in (sort of) boot camp program. he has also been in the foster treatment program (where he had sex with their 22 year old daughter and came home with her name tatooed on himself). Where i live in Wisconsin you are resonsible for your child until they are 17. you can not place them for adoption (who would adopt them anyways) Mine is 15 and out of 5 boys from 13 to 28 he is the only one i have had such problems with. he is also a runner. if he is punished or the courts put conditions on him he runs and manages to be on the run for months. he is on the run right now. it is sad because sometimes i hope they won't find him. he wrecks so much havoc in my home that we can't stand him being here. my 14 year old is a good kid, high honors, good friends, involved. when my 15 year old is here the school calls me becuase he is like a different person (very withdrawn) he has a case worker that is good, has tried everything. u can make him a ward of the state. if u have a low income this may not cost u. but for most it is like paying child support (they would probaly go after the father & get results like u couldn't) The fact is you, like me have no control over the child. When my son is caught this time around i am asking the case worker to make him a ward of the state. he will not be allowed back in my house. if i can get u any more info email me.

Answer 3

No matter what you have to do to protect yourself, do it, even if that means your son has to go to some institution or even foster care that can help him. HOWEVER, you will scar him forever if you ditch him by giving him up for adoption! Teenage kids (especially ones with severe problems such as this) do NOT get adopted, they get put into foster care until they turn 18 and then get to spend the rest of their lives feeling abandoned and worthless. Furthermore you can't just ditch your financial obligation to this child - you will be forced to pay child support while he is in foster care. Are there any religious leaders you can ask for help? If this kid doesn't get some kind of help that works, he will end up in the State Penn soon after becoming an adult.

That said, placing him into foster care voluntarily may be the best thing for him. It may put him in touch with some resources that he desperately needs. Just stay in his life and don't give him away, please please please. Really hoping you figure something out!!!

Answer 4

I'M SO SORRY you have this problem. I can relate to some of this so I'm not speaking from not knowing. REPORT THIS TO THE POLICE! Take him to the courts as an "unruly" child. They will deem HIM not you responsible for his actions. (if he's under 18) Don't give him up, just let him be responsible now not you. Tell them you want to be there for him but you are SCARED AND I WOULD BE!!!!!!
And research meds some can make bi-polar worse!!!!!! But PLEASE CALL AND HAVE HIM PUT INTO A HOME WHERE THEY CAN TRY TO HELP.....I am a single mother I KNOW your pain there.BUT GO CALL POLICE AND DONT LET HIM KNOW!!! Get him out before he kills you or himself.....or someone else!!! They have homes that are not costly for this!!

Answer 5

You need to go ahead and press charges on him for assault with a deadly weapon. Once he is in the custody of the state, you need to inform them of his bipolar condition. Maybe on this charge the judge could let his punishment be a mental facility where doctors could experiment different combinations of meds until they find the right ones that help. I don't know about the whole adoption thing, but I don't think it would be wise to let him go to another home where he might hurt someone else. I know it's hard to do, but you will be saving your son, maybe from the death penality, if you do this now. Be strong and stay firm with your decision.

Answer 6

Foster care might be a better option. Foster families are trained to deal with troublesome kids. It'll allow you the time you need with him out of your apartment and it can pay for him to get therapy. As much of a pain in the butt he's being, he's still your son and he does need you, but you need to look after yourself as much as you are for him. It sounds like he has a ton of issues to work out. When he starts to calm down he'll need your support more than ever.
New drugs are always coming out. A good friend of mine is bipolar and sometimes I couldn't stand to be around her, but she has switched drugs over and over and finally found one that worked for her. She's doing great now.
You could also try a military school or camp.
My brother wasn't as bad as your son sounds, but he was a pain and my parents sent him here: http://www.carsonlong.org/
He made a complete turn around and now he is in the Navy.
I wish you all the best, and good luck to you and your son.

Answer 7

Ive been in the hospital before Because of epilepsy but the kids that are in there for being mean are usly worse so in all respect i would say jail
Well come to think of it maybe not jail because ive heard its worse for meanies but Please dont let him out on the street He could kill someone also its not like anyone in their right mind is going to adopt him also they dont let you out of their without permission from the parents our a court order however you cannot forcivly drug a child under federal law even in the hospital but at least in the hospital there caring and they protect you, and those around you...
Also in the meantime please keep him away from the knives
and those hollywood movies about straight jackets is bullshit
however they rarly do that But ONLY if you pose SIGNIFICANT harm to yourself in which case theyl most likly only shoot you with some halo in the butt never happened to me but it calms people down. even when there about tom kill someone literly
Also please do not report him to the police
it will make it worse
Because he'l Most likly Spend the rest of his life in jail because of the courts that are very corrupted

Answer 8

Is there a branch of recent child and relatives amenities the place you reside? if so, call them. they could assist you. If not, you probable could call the police. With my son, we even placed an alarm on his door...with out fulfillment. We finally had to get the police in contact. As terrible as that sounds, it became into the acceptable concern we could desire to have accomplished. it sounds as in the adventure that your son is tearing your existence aside. in case you have tried all those issues for him perhaps you'll be able to desire to start hectic approximately your self. that's a not undemanding actuality yet now and lower back it is the only concern you're able to do. sturdy success, my ideas are with you.

Answer 9

you can judge hacket and ask for help or the junvivile court for help the judge can order a bootcamp that you wont have to pay i been there as far as help for my son and since there is a waiting list in atl ga my son is dead get your child reccords and school and doctors take them to the court house and plead for help my son was 16 years old and got shot so dont give up search for help ask the school cousler or policemen somebody just dont let him go like that even if medication maybe the answer just dont give up

Answer 10

Well - first of all, I cannot imagine how difficult this has been for you. That being said, why would you want to subject another family with your son's dangerous behavior? If you have tried everything and nothing has worked, then you should consider having him committed.