Recently I discovered my estranged spouse to be snooping into my computer system when visiting our children. She made the choice to "seperate" so I feel all is fair game. She confronted me on a profile in a dating site where I was openly honest about my current status. I am still in love with her and hurt everyday we are apart, I just want to feel better and the short lived distractions I may encounter, take the edge off. Anyone else married or other have this experience and how do you deal with it?
2006-11-12 16:31:19 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you still love her and hope to patch things up with her, going to a dating website (whether seriously or just for kicks) is not helping the situation. However, it's not right for your wife to snoop around on your computer. But if she came across it on her own computer, then there's nothing wrong with that. I think first off, you need to decide how you feel about her and the relationship. Are you guys really over? Do you still want to try to be with her? If you guys are really over and working towards divorce then you need to be point-blank with her and tell her that you are now free to do whatever you want to do. But if you want to try to work through the problems and get back with her, you should tell her that you don't appreciate her going through your things (the computer) and that you just signed up because you wanted to know that you're still attractive. That would hit a soft spot with any ex who still wants to be with you.
J
2006-11-12 16:37:35 · answer #1 · answered by Jenn 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Separated" is just another word for married. What was the reason for this separation anyway? Was it something in your behavior that caused her to want to move out?
If you really love her and you are still hurting, instead of focusing on short lived distractions that take the edge off, time could be better spent figuring out what you can do to win her back. And it will not happen by you posting profiles on dating services. Think about it.
2006-11-13 00:40:18 · answer #2 · answered by Marti M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Great! Now you have put thoughts into your wife's mind! Were you honest with her, and did you explain why you were on the site? Well, I guess she has something to think about now! I would be mad, but if I was honest with myself-I would realize I was the one who wanted the separation. So I would make a choice to take you back before you maybe did find someone else, OR I would be a baby about it, and look for a new man out of spite. This is usually what women do!!!! We are strange creatures, but men can't seem to live without us! Not that we want them too!! Good luck!!
2006-11-13 00:40:59 · answer #3 · answered by sue d 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
password protect your computer. Log on for your kids and keep it logged out when you aren't around and if she is coming over.
My husband's ex would come get their son (they haventt been together for 14 years, since the kid was born) and she thought she had the right to look in our computers. We put passwords on the computers and don't even tell the kids.
No one has the right to look in other people's computers if they don't own them. If your wife choose to separate from you then you can do as you please and has no right to confront you on anything. She doesn't even need ot be in the house.
2006-11-13 00:37:43 · answer #4 · answered by B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Password protect your computer. Or be more diligent about clearing out the internet history. I think when she decided to walk out she lost a big chunk of her privilege of knowing. If she does not like how you are filling the void maybe she should consider what or who is causing that void.
2006-11-13 00:40:16 · answer #5 · answered by fluffybunny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not put something really good in there for her to find.Go out and buy some sexy panties and lay on your computer desk-when she opens up your site have sexy pictures for her to find. She really should not be snooping. So out and buy some playboy magazines to lay on your desk where she can find them! Place some condoms some where on the desk top.Use your imagination. See if you can find a sexy woman for your wallpaper.
2006-11-13 00:44:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are separated then you must have lawyers. TELL your lawyer what she is doing because she doesn't have the right to snoop into your private life now that you're separated, if you're not LEGALLY seperated you don't have a leg to stand on.
2006-11-13 01:45:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Explain to her that she was wrong for prying into your "personal space". If she wants to keep an open relationship with you, she should respect you and allow you your privacy, otherwise you will have to limit her visitations.
In my case I gave the ultimatum....either knock it off or I'm gone for good. (I should have left anyway)
2006-11-13 00:38:37 · answer #8 · answered by John K 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand and sympathize and you make perfect sense...
Nothing you can do...
Is there any chance of her coming back soon ?
If not, go on with the divorce and put those dating sites to good use.
2006-11-13 00:35:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well she have to know that she was the one that left the relationship so she need to let you be happy. even if it's not with her. but if you love her you need to let her know that you want her back.
2006-11-13 00:37:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋