I dont want a boyfriend or i think i dont need one?or i am insecure which is which?
im 19 , and i still have no boyfriend, im not bad looking in fact i get voted most of the time as one of the prettiest in school, but i cannot connect with men, shy in a way that i reply when they text me but i dont talk to them personally, and i really hate it when men just see me for the outside, usually i get pissed when men tell me im beautiful but they dont appreciate the fact that i write poetry and that i am the editor in chief of our paper, sometimes i feel i am too intelligent for men, and that most men are shallow, i have seen so many heartbreaking moments, and usually i dont see happy couples, like when my friends have boyfriends or when my sister has a boyfriend she still does not seem happy, they dont seem to be inspired, i was kind of hoping that women would be happy and inspired when they have boyfriends, but all i hear about is cheating or boring men,,,
is it ok if i will not entertain any suitors. i really like someone right now but i have no plans to pursue him
2006-11-12 16:01:21 · 10 answers · asked by haringmarumo 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I am curious as to what triggers your initial attraction to a guy and I'm guessing it has something to do with his appearance. Physical attraction (or at least lack of repulsion) is very important in a relationship. My point is, dont get so pissed at someone for commenting on your appearance that you dont give them the chance to know you, or you the chance to know them. I too understand where that comes from as I am also attractive and have been annoyed at people telling me I'm beautiful as though it is the be all and end all to who you are. But that idea, for me anyway, is a sign of low self esteem. If you have good self esteem you should be able to accept positive compliments. But dont lower your standards. Not wanting to pursue someone you like could be a sign of self esteem issues, depends on your reason for not pursuing it. Are you scared of rejection. Have you assumed how he will react and therefore not given him the chance? Moral of the story...Dont settle. You deserve a good boyfriend if you want one. If you dont want one that's fine. If you are scared or have low self esteem issues, deal with them now or they'll haunt you for the rest of your life!
2006-11-12 16:36:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ha... I know exactly what you mean. But there are people who shine away from females as well. Guys are naturally intimidated by intelligent women. And the appearance is what draws men to you. Maybe if you take a step back and actually talk to a guy and give them the chance to know you, they'll learn to look within rather than the outside. I have been in a 5 1/2 yr relationship. I am very happy and content with my relationship. In fact I am smarter than my b/f. But I think he likes it that way. Maybe you should find a guy who can compete with your intellectual ideals. Someone who challenges to look past the stereotype men and just look at him. Being yourself with generally help the right one come towards you. Just be open minded. Not all guys are the same. If you don't want to be judged, then you shouldn't judge all suitors who pursue you.
2006-11-13 00:09:52 · answer #2 · answered by t_marie_02 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok darls don't get upset i'm in the same boat. I'm a good looking girl and i hate being reminded of it sometimes, you just want to hear wow you have a great personality. Men are easily intimmidated and i'm sure when the time is right he will fall into your lap and you will think "what was i so worried about"
2006-11-13 00:08:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't seem to be interested in a relationship as you have not met yoru match... You see, in your mind, you have certain criteria that you wish to see in your boyfriend, however, you have not seen any of these attributes in the guys you have met so far... My advise, is to be patient. You'll meet him one fine day and he'll knock you off your socks... so be patient & good luck!
Oh yes! Don't be too fast to judge the boys around you cos as we all know most boys mature late...
2006-11-13 02:35:59 · answer #4 · answered by Rin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds to me like u pretty secure of your self n dun want to settle for less. dun worry boyfriends most of the time are headaches neway. eventually ull find they guy dat would make u change ur mind n dats how ull kno hes special.
2006-11-13 00:53:50 · answer #5 · answered by geovanna 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time for you to have boyfriend has not yet come... Project yourself a little more so you will be noticed but don't make it obvious...
2006-11-13 00:33:19 · answer #6 · answered by jane u 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take it from an intelligent girl who is not that pretty........It is a lot harder to get a guy interested in your intellect if he has no interest in you physically at first.
2006-11-13 00:55:36 · answer #7 · answered by fluffybunny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well considering you are not like so many others who feel they have to be with someone, therefore settle for less and get hurt, you should just stick to what you are doing
2006-11-13 00:06:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not worry,your boyfriend is in the way.Wait.
2006-11-13 00:14:06 · answer #9 · answered by cobrasnake 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm 25.. and don't have one either, but I'm happy nevertheless. Hope this cheers you up. :)
2006-11-13 01:11:18 · answer #10 · answered by Rio 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋