Should i make my confession that im a gay?

Question

I been hiding in the closet for years knowing that my friends cannot accept any of their friends being gay.I lived in a country whereby people hates homosexual the most.My friends, they said, having a friends that is a gay is the second last thing that they want to have after death.I cant imagine how they would treat me if i tell them that im a gay.People never know that im a gay coz im have masculine look more than the feminine.Im not sissy.Im just a real men.I always fantasized about being cuddle by a big bear.And i still continue fantazing bout it.I just dont know how long i can stay being the person that is not me.My true me is trapped inside the closet, locked by the bad impressions of the community bout homosexuality.
Right now, im doing my degree so that i can work overseas.I dont want to stay in my country.People didnt accept it if im a gay.So as my parents.I think they will be shock if the know that their beloved son is a gay.
Help me!
Im so depressed right now!

i dont have any gay friends and that makes it more dificult for me coz ony men knows what men needs.
What should i do???

If they know that im a gay, i think they will left me alone.They girls also will leave me too.Here, im a very well-knowned person.
Well, coz i played soccer, rugby and basketball( sports that only tough men can play-that's what girls said here).So, i think i will break their hopes especially those who want to date me.I havent dated any coz i dont want to date them.I dont want to dissapoint them after they know that their idol is a gay.OMG!

I dont think i can stand it any longer.I cant even concentrate on my studies.It's always bother me.I know one of senior is a gay and all of the other senior and junior are making fun of him.Well, he is a bit sissy.Different from me.
Now, i dont know where to go.Feel like i met the dead end, no turning back.

Thank you Flower,you made me cry after i read you answer.I wish you are my mom.I dont know where else can i get suport from.Im lost!!!

Answer 1

I can't claim to know anything about your problem, I'm a straight female. But it just broke my heart to read your question. This must be so difficult for you. I don't know what to tell you to do, maybe you should try to wait for the right person to come along before you say anything, at least then you would have some kind of support. I can't speak for your parents, of course, but if my child came to me and told me he's gay, I would be loving and supportive, a parent always loves their children, no matter what, at least that's the way I feel about my child. I just wanted you to know I feel for you and wish you the best! :)

Answer 2

Be careful. I don't know where you live, but if it's all that bad maybe you should wait until you share this with anyone. Is it a country where gay men are arrested, or harassed or beaten by the police? It happens in Muslim countries, for instance.

Are you dependent on your parents or other family members for financial support - especially since you've mentioned going to another country to study, I'd stop and think about it. Do you think they'd throw you out of the house, assuming you're living with them presently?

Even if you go to another country, you might want to think about who you tell back home unless you're pretty sure you won't have to return home. I wouldn't know how you can make friends with other gay people in your country. The guy who cuts my hair was the first gay man I met when I moved to the area where I now live. Good luck.

Answer 3

First, you don't have to "confess" that you are gay, to anyone. It is not like it is a sin to be discussed, and then judged by others. Your anxiety is caused by WHERE you live, not by who you are. Anxiety has been described as that place between where you are now, and where you WANT to be. From your question, I take it you are in your early 20's, in university in Europe? Just as you make strategic moves and plays in rugby and soccer, you are going to have to decide if you want to make moves and plays in your LIFE. I strongly recommend you work quickly toward moving to another region or country, so you can concentrate on your studies and therefore be much happier, at peace, and successful. It is a huge step, but necessary for your sanity and mental health. There are many places in the world where you can live freely and openly, for example in Canada. You are young, and now is the time to do it. Otherwise I get the feeling you will have much regret for not making the leap. Be strong inside, ignore what friends and family might think of such a move, and get on with YOUR life. Good luck to you.

Answer 4

Focus on school. Get your degree, get everything ready for your future plans.

And tell them about a week or two before you go. That will give your real friends some time to adjust and deal with it and decide that the friendship you've had isn't worth throwing away over something like this; and you'll only have to put up with the idiots for a little while before you're gone.
(Unless you'd be in actual physical danger, like if it's illegal in your country and you could be arrested... in which case, wait till after you're gone.)

Answer 5

i'm chuffed to take heed to that you're popping out on your mom. She will be dissatisfied at the start, yet she will finally feel free that you felt you may come to her. As for Darren, i'm constructive it is going to "click" when you've informed your mom. If not, you do not could bypass into information at the start, enable the understanding of you being gay have time to settle inclusive of your mom. enable her understand, that she will ask you some thing she needs to, and that you'd be open and common answering her questions. lots of oldsters imagine or experience that they have performed some thing incorrect in elevating their baby, and that is the reason they could be gay. Reassure her that she has been an impressive mom, and that you lover her very a lot. assure her that it wasn't some thing in any respect that she did or did not attempt this led to you to be gay. Congratulations on being reliable and getting to understand your avenues on a thanks to attend to an extremely gentle project. best of needs....

Answer 6

How very sad. We have a family member who will soon be 50 and he has not come out of the closet either. The only difference in your situation is that no one knows...we all know, he just doesn't think we do...we're just waiting for him to tell us. I think you should leave all of your friends behind and go someplace that people will accept you. If there was the slightest chance that you would be accepted by your friends and family I would say tell them but if what you say is true then it can only end up sad and disappointing for you.

Answer 7

Don't tell anyone over there...your description sounds as if you'll make life much more miserable for yourself...Wait until you get your degree and leave the country...(it may also make it more difficult for you to get to some countries---sad, but true). Have you any way of going to a doctor and just telling him/her that you are depressed?...they CAN help with that....Good Luck..you're having a tough time.

Answer 8

From what you are saying here, I cannot see any way for you to come out to your friends and family that isn't going to harm you in the long run. I know you are depressed, but you have to look at your goals. If you lose the support of those who are helping you get your degree you are never getting out of the life you are living.

Hang on and keep working towards getting free. Your destiny will wait for you, but if you never get here, you will never embrace him. Good luck to you, be strong.

Answer 9

I'd suggest getting your job overseas and going to a less homophobic country. You don't need to confess to homophobes, they aren't worth your time. Just get out and get new friends, then you won't have to worry about coming out because you can just introduce yourselves to them as gay. You may want to tell your parents like right before you leave so that they can't try and stop you. After you're gone it's their problem. Good luck my friend.

Answer 10

Oh, I'm so sorry. It must be horrible. I don't think you should tell anyone over there. It's one of those things that many people just couldn't understand. Do they have good psychologists where you live? I'd suggest you get a little therapy. It sounds like you have some undealt-with issues that go deeper than your sexual orientation.