I love my mother inlaw dearly. She would do anything in the world for me and her and I have a great friendship. I think she ruined my husband for me though! I swear some days that he is the laziest thing going. When I am at my in laws house and I see her running her butt off for her husband and her two sons, when they are totally capable of doing these simple things and she does them without batting an eye. Like cooking 3 different meals for these men. Doing my brother in laws laundry. I think my husband thinks that I am supposed to be like his mother. I love him dearly but he drives me nuts with this attitude. So my question is....Does anyone else out there suffer as I do?
2006-11-12 15:33:34 · 9 answers · asked by hamera7925 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
yes until u put a stop to it i am ur wife not ur maid we do 4 each other
2006-11-12 15:38:33 · answer #1 · answered by vickey417 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband's mother died many years before I met my husband, which I consider to be a real loss for me, too. Judging at how well my hubby "turned out", I would have liked to thank her in person.
I don't think a person can "ruin" another person without their permission. Your husband is an adult, and for him to expect to be coddled and waited on is pedantic and selfish. His mother will likely ALWAYS do these things for her sons, but that is HER choice; it probably makes her feel needed and appreciated. Whatever. As far as the way your husband expects YOU to do the same, he is in need of a grown-up wake-up call....and if you allow his child-like behavior to continue, it is your responsibility to accept the consequences. I know this may sound harsh, and I don't mean to insult you, but, it is TOTALLY within your husband's capabilities to understand that you are not his mother - so don't allow him to continue under this misconception. Let him know that he can act helpless while he is at mommy's house, but nowhere else.
2006-11-12 23:45:04 · answer #2 · answered by happy heathen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
girl i've seen that a million times, i am in my 40s and i look at my elders, and watch how the woman treat their men, makes me sick to my stomach, they're teaching them that a womans place is in the kitchen, or at the stove, not even realizing what they are creating, because thats how the woman were brought up, not me sister! My ex husband would get mad at me if i didnt cut up his steak before i "served' it to him and throw it against the wall! Needless to say, that was the last time he ever did that again, notice i said "x"! I swore after that, the next man i get, he will wait on his self, and thats exactly what he does, they act like they appreciate it at first, but then they start to expect it! Times are changing....this lady right here want ever be a slave to another man......girlfriend, dont you do like your poor little mother inlaw, he'll run you ragged just like they are doing her. A shame!
2006-11-12 23:55:41 · answer #3 · answered by Lace 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only one who can allow yourself to "suffer" is yourself. Just because your mother in law does these things doesn't mean she "ruined" your husband. IF you and he didn't talk about these things before you got married your suffering is all on YOUR shoulders, and not her's. Your lack of communication isn't your mother in law's fault.
2006-11-13 02:32:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a female answering this question so don't pay no mind to the pic!!!
YESSSS!!!!! My ex husbands mother was always butting into our relationship. My fiances' mother always waits on my fiance hand and foot and does the same with his boys. They are called mommas boys and it is hard to break this bad habit/cycle with them. Then they want you to treat them like their mother does and they are lazier. I am constantly aggrivated over this and making him do things that he is capable of doing or things that he should do himself. I also have distanced myself from his mother because she can play each of us on each other.
2006-11-12 23:50:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband grew up with diliquent foster children and then joined the army in his later teens. I don't know if she molly coddled him as much as his youngest sister. She is really hard to be around as everything's supposed to go her way.
2006-11-12 23:37:05 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's mostly generational, I think. My mom worked her butt off for our family, but I had no problem taking over when it was my time out; in fact, I have the opposite problem, I'm the slave.
2006-11-12 23:39:42 · answer #7 · answered by You'll Never Outfox the Fox 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's love in family - it's normal mother loves son, and want to show love by doing everything for him - that's love - immense love - no calculate in love - and then Wife loves husband - another love come up - no calculate in love - be generous in family love - then everything will be all right and go back to normal
2006-11-13 00:00:05 · answer #8 · answered by Neighbour 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You know the saying....."An apple doesn't fall far from the tree"
2006-11-12 23:35:41 · answer #9 · answered by Robyn K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋