I am 36 years old divorced woman. I have a proposal from a man who is almost perfect. If I marry him then I will have everything that I want from life. The only problem is that he is persistant that he does not want kids, on the other hand I am dying for kids. Keep in mind that he has kids from his first wife, but I don't have any kids. I am extremely confuse about what should I do, reject him or accept him?
2006-11-12 14:53:10 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Don't do it. You are both adamant on the opposite ends of a very fundamental thing. If you get married, one of you is going to have to give in and will be resentful and bitter because you did.
Somehow, I don't think anyone could say anything to you at this point to keep you from marrying this "perfect" person, making this advice all the more regretful to give you, but if you'll think for a moment with your brain and not your heart, you know I'm right.
2006-11-12 14:59:22 · answer #1 · answered by You'll Never Outfox the Fox 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Could you seek counseling---from a couples therapist or from your clergyman? You are entirely normal in wanting children, and his tough stance of "no kids" is an extremely serious issue. I'd say, try to work this through with a qualified counselor. If he insists on the "no kids", I'd have to reluctantly advise you to leave him and keep looking for someone who would enjoy being a father to the children you would have. Best wishes!
2006-11-12 15:17:03 · answer #2 · answered by aeh2323 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i feel for you. at the age of 36 you are getting on for having kids, but with kids of my own i know what you are missing. My sister married a man with no children but he would have loved to have at least 1 of his own. My sister had 2 from a previous marriage and had her tubes done before they met. He was able to love her 2 children as his own(they are now adults) even though they were teenagers at the time. Only your heart can tell you what to do. the chances of meeting someone who is this compatible for you and still having the time(age wise) to have kids are slim. Love doesn't happen everyday and sometimes we have to make sacrifices in our lives to be happy. Embrace his children if you can there is no law that says children can only have 2 parents to love them. (just don't step on Mommy's toes)
2006-11-12 15:09:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your heart longs for children this relationship may be doombed. You'll have to decide if this "perfect man" can provide enough love & contentment to fill the hole in your heart left from not fulfilling your dream of having children. If not there will be a strain on your relationship from the beginning. Unconditional love is just that. The ability & desire to devout yourself completely to another person without reservation. Love will settle for less than perfection but will it be enough to fill that void. That is something only you can answer. Follow your heart. Your biological clock is ticking & there is no snooze control on this one my dear. Another unfulfilled relationship & the time it takes to heal may cost you the one chance you have at experiencing the joys of Motherhood.
I wish you well!!!!!!!
2006-11-12 15:15:57 · answer #4 · answered by Diablo 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you can accept his children as your own do it. Remember there is no saying for sure if you ever would have children of your own. I didn't (mind you I'm male, and no it's not none that I know of) I did however adopt my wifes daughter a week before we married. Now were divorced but our daughter is close to me rather than her mother.
2006-11-12 15:01:48 · answer #5 · answered by Sid B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is good he is so perfect but that one thing, which is a major one, will always be on your mind and you will be bitter towards him forever, which is not healthy for any relationship. I would have to say u will not be happy if u marry him.
2006-11-13 02:34:53 · answer #6 · answered by Jim G 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No man is almost perfect.
Apparently, this guy is not the one for you.
And, why in the world would you accept his proposal -- just because he seems so "almost perfect"?
2006-11-12 14:59:48 · answer #7 · answered by asperens 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The main issue both of you have is kids.To have and not to have.Best thing to do is settle this issue before you except any kind of proposal.Its going to be to late after the I do's are said.
2006-11-12 14:57:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
because of the fact maximum women folk do not truthfully desire the worlds maximum suitable guy! they desire somewhat a insurrection! and somebody who will beware for them. If a mans already so suitable what does he have left to try for?
2016-10-21 23:58:57 · answer #9 · answered by cardish 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't marry him.
2006-11-12 14:55:12 · answer #10 · answered by S K 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋