me and my girlfriend was together for 3 years and 9 months. we broke up 3 months ago. her dad died 2 weeks lat

Question

me and my girlfriend was together for 3 years and 9 months. we broke up 3 months ago. her dad died 2 weeks later. I broke up with her because she told me I didnt matter. I didnt know she meant I didnt matter when shes trying to spend time with her parents. shes 19 years old, Im 23 years old. through out the relationship it was hard for us to see each other because her parents were so strict that we had to sneak to see each other and only was able to talk on the phone 2 days a week. so the anger we got from that would be thrown at each other. but once we realized it we became a better relationship. she says we will never get back together because she felt I wasnt there for her in that stressful time of her dad. I've always been there for her through everything. im her first everything, boyfriend, virginity you name it except for a crush before me. she has a grudge against me, possibly dont like me as a person. my friends say she will come back but i dont know. do you think she will?

Answer 1

It was mean of her to say that you did not matter. But, perhaps she knew what was coming intuitively with her Dad and wanted to spend time with him and not upset him. Perhaps you need to find out why her parents were against you. If they are against you, there is always going to be trouble until that is resolved. If you want her back, ask her what it was, and what you could do to help her and her Mom out. If you are genuine, she will tell you the truth, and it might just win her back.

Answer 2

...she is only 19 & you only 23...maturity will eventually prevail. Be honest with her, just like you just did in internet world. See, we always think that people understand our thoughts. They don't. They only think the way they think you should think. It sounds like you were given her exactly what she wanted---space. But, because the two of you never communicated your own perspective's as to what had been happening in your lives---you both "assumed". Wrong method. Don't assume anything, especially when it comes to what women truly want, young or old. You will always end up right where you are...on the outside and confused. All I can say with respect to your situation right now is to get in touch with her and say "I'm sorry"---"I didn't realize..." and let her take it from there. make sure the both of you communicate exactly how you feel right now and then how you felt or were thinking about the past, unfortunate situation---both your breakup & her father's untimely passing. Only then can you begin the process of forgiveness and be able to move forward as friend's first and then possibly lover's again later. And remember, when in doubt listen to the song "Lean on Me" because that is what true friendship & lover's do both thru good & not so good times together...only then will both of you get it.

Good luck & remember it all starts and end with communication...when in doubt, ask.

Sincerely,

BS from Canada

Answer 3

just be there for her in any way she needs you and understand she is hurting very much right now. thats all you can do right now, she will be going day by day

Answer 4

anything can happen.