How to keep happy both mother & wife? At the same time?

Answer 1

Good luck! My partner feels like he is in the middle alot...your wife will be there with you though...you don't have to live with your Mother. Respect mom but let her know that you do have a life and family and they come first now..it is only right. Moms should take the back seat and not be so controlling.

Answer 2

1.) Not necessarily, but if you weren't going to call them when she went into labor, then you should have prepared them for that in advance. It might have made them mad, but at least they would have known and not been waiting around for your call expecting to be there. It was also poor judgement to post the information somewhere as impersonal as facebook and allow them to find out that way. 2.) No. You may not have handled this that well, but they didn't respond well either. Banging on a door, screaming, yelling and making threats is not the way to get invited into a home with newborns. You were absolutely right to turn them away. I imagine this behavior is part of the reason that you didn't invite them to the hospital, and you should let them know that. 3.) I had a c-section last year. I felt about 80% better by 3 weeks, but it took the whole 6 weeks to feel completely back to my old self. 4.) Not really. I don't think anybody in this story handled the situation tactfully. Hopefully it makes you all sit down and have an honest conversation so that this kind of thing doesn't happen again! EDIT: I definitely don't think you're a jerk. You sound like a doting husband and loving father, which is the most important thing. But since you asked for the input, it couldn't hurt to at least consider what people are saying. I had twin girls myself last year, and facebook was a wonderful tool to communicate with family and friends, but that isn't an appropriate way for your immediate family to find out. You sound like you are already 'over the moon' in love with your babies. Imagine how you will feel if, in 25 years, you and your wife read on facebook that one of them had a baby 3 days before and didn't even bother to call you and let you know. Admit it, that would hurt.

Answer 3

There is no "happy at the same time" in this equation, because your wife and mother are not on equal playing fields; and MOTHERS who try and make their sons think they should be or that they should be before the wife, are usually if not always, LONELY-MANLESS-SELFISH women who have turned their sons into a "spouse"!

The bible says to leave and cleave, become one flesh with your wife and forsake ALL others; and yes a man's "Mother" falls in the category of ALL. This issue within marriages has been around forever and I am convinced that it remains such a big problem, due to the fact that men have a major problem putting their mom's in there place.

Trust me, I mean all of this in a nice way. I am just tired of seeing marriages in turmoil and spouses at one anothers throats over people that have NOTHING to do with the bigger picture in their marriage.

Just food for thought...isn't it amazing how these "Mom's" who have partied, lived their lives, made mistakes,had their children, etc don't want their sons to have that same freedom! It is actually kind of sick!lol

Answer 4

well........that's huge. I think it really takes time. I have found most men have a way of backing off when it comes to conflict with the mom and gf or wife. They wait and leave it up to the two of them to duke it out as they sit back and take sides with you when she isn't around and then back them when your all together. Which really doesn't go over well with the gf or wife. After time Mine just stayed out of it and once we had our words we came to understand one another and love each other but most of all respect each other and that is how it keeps the man in safety check with both..........lol....hard question.....you will have to find what works for you. Just don't strattle the fence......back your wife but love your mother.

Answer 5

before u were married your mother had your full attention but since u r married now it is shared, it depends how much your mother or yr wife is possessive of u. when u buy anything for your wife remember to buy for your mother also. give time to your mother also and try to be neutral when in both argue. the most important culprit is the kitchen and the preparation. arguments will start from choice of utensils, type of masala etc. your mother was in charge till you were married naturally the newcomer(wife) entering the kitchen is considered as someone who has encroached. i know it is very maddening for u but try some of the tips. its basically your stars. keep on trying all the best

Answer 6

why you need to keep them happy. first of all lets take your mommy.shes the one who who knows you better and a mother is happy when her child is happy. before your marriage you must have given her , her part of happiness. so i think its your wife's chance. but yes meanwhile you shouldn't forget your mom.you should spend sometime talking with her too. and yes if you want to spend more time with your wife, then call upoun your mommy's friend ,so that she gets engrossed with her.at the same time keep a maid sothat she does the house work for your wife as well as takes care of your mom. meanwhile you can enjoy with your wife. hope this helps you.GOOD LUCK!

Answer 7

Well, in my opinion, I think that you should let go of mommy's apron string and be a good husband to your wife. In all reality, if you are making momma happy all the time, more than likely wifey isn't going to be thrilled at all. I had a friend in this same situation. Her hubby thought he couldn't do anything without mommy's approval. It really put a damper on their relationship.

Answer 8

You make sure you have your priorities right.

When you got married things should have shifted making your wife #1 and your mother #2.

Doesn't mean Mom's not important but she can't be THE most important anymore.

When I first got married I suggested my husband take his mom out once a month....just the two of them. It made her realize he still loved her and there was still a place in his life for her.

Answer 9

Definitely it is possible, if you have mind to do it. Balancing act of keeping humerus to both at all times. The main cause for unhappiness will be due to spending of money. Never give scope for complaints while spending money.You may experience lot of problems while exercising caution.Your intelligence and timely action is essential.

Answer 10

The bible says " A MAN Should Leave his MOTHER and Father and CLING to his WIFE"
Show your mother her due respect but never talk down about your wife to your mother and to your wife about your mother.