i'm 17 and have had a real hard life and i know that the guy i have is the guy i want to spend the rest of my life with because he's showed me he truly cares by helping me through it all..i was sexually molested and had to move away from him this past year and its been really rough on the both of us, but we're still pulling through. He asked me to marry him and i said yes.. I have a 4 year scholarship to a university and i have my life planned out... am i too young to get married?..i'll be 19
2006-11-12 14:14:32 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sounds like you have the right idea and have things all planned out. I don't think 19 is too young to get married. Good luck hon and congrats!!! I wish you both a wonderful life together and many, many years of happiness!!!!
2006-11-12 14:19:00 · answer #1 · answered by Crystal 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think that you sound very mature and everything but when i was at the age of 17 I too thought that I had everything together although I didn't have anything hard to go through as you. I loved my husband with all my heart and I thought then that I was ready and get this my husband is a year younger than I am and we decided that we wanted to get married that young.My mother sat us down and told us the hardship of marriage and we didn't do it until four years later. 17 is the year when you are suppose to be free to choose whatever part you want. You still have options please don't limit them by getting married.Soon you would be going to a great University you might even meet someone there. My point is I was once mature as you but I had to go out and have experience my husband and I were apart for a year then we got back together and got married. You are not ready yet experience life first then make such life long decisions. If he loves you trust me he would find that he can't live without you and he will wait for you no matter what. You'll see everything would work out for the best. Its a true saying that time waits on no man but then again the world is not running away. Take your time and make your important decisions carefully.
2006-11-12 15:24:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I don't believe anyone should get married until they are at least old enough to drink legally. Yeah, I think you're too young. Sorry to hear you've had a hard life, but a lot of people have hard lives. Don't use it as an excuse to get married. My mother, for instance, was smuggling food across the Iron Curtain when she was 16, in order to help feed her family. She was also captured by Russian soldiers.
Sweetie, if you really love each other, the wedding will wait. Take advantage of that scholarship and get your education. Achieve something for YOU before you share it with him. Make sure you can support yourself without him. Don't be financially or emotionally dependent on him or anyone else.
Good luck.
2006-11-12 14:22:52 · answer #3 · answered by Tish 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are going to be people in your ENTIRE life that will help you through hard times. I am not saying that you can't love this person...because you can...and you should. This sounds like an awesome person!
I was in the same boat as you...
But without the 4 year scholarship to a university...
YOU BETTER GO TO SCHOOL!
But...now, let me answer your question...YES...you are WAY too young to get married...What is wrong with a long engagement? Honey...You need to make sure you know yourself first...you are just starting out...what you know now about yourself...is nothing! You will find out SO MUCH MORE!
2006-11-12 14:21:48 · answer #4 · answered by ladydrea2918 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you are. At 19, you are not fully mature. It is true that the female brain, particularly the frontal lobe, which is responsible for judgment, is not fully developed until the early 20s. Also, I think you should focus on getting through school before taking such a big step. I am sorry that you have had a hard life and being molested is terribly difficult to deal with, but I think it would be best for you to seek counseling and find out what you need in life instead of getting married because it feels safe. If this man is good and really loves you, he will wait for the right time to marry you. Best of luck.
2006-11-12 14:19:54 · answer #5 · answered by schweetums 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maybe not too young as much as you have alot going on! i too was molested as a child, and fell in love young. i think i was looking for some kind of comfort. Anyway i ended up engaged at 16 had a baby by 18 and was due to be married by 19. before that happened i realised we had grown apart. Infact i had outgrown him, girls mature alot quicker than boys. After a few years alone i met the man i later married, and i realised that what i thought was love at 16, was not. Waiting was the best thing i could have done!
You have the rest of your life to worry about getting married, dont be in a hurry now. Continue your studies and make your life everything you want it to be, then get the bonus of marriage!
2006-11-12 14:31:54 · answer #6 · answered by frog_phunk 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Probably everyone will tell you that you are too young to get married, the truth is that I've known older people that mentally have been very young to get married and that have been like all the time. However, if you are just going to get married to get out of your problems you'll probably end up having more problems than the ones you had before, marriage is not easy and requires a lot of us to give to our partner. If you think you are prepared go ahead of course you can have a happy marriage you two together, but don't take it as a simple decision, sit down you and your partner and talk about it and see how mature you guys are...
:)
2006-11-12 14:38:04 · answer #7 · answered by Mariachi 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just so you plan to stay in school, stay unpregnant, get that degree, sure, get married. It
appears to be the best of all of the options you have at this time, and he sounds like a great guy, and you seem to have your head on straignt, and your eye focused on a future, not just willing to let things happen to you. So many people on this site ask such questions as: "I'm 21, married, have a kid, no job, husband has no job, I want out, what do I do?" And of course the answer to something like that is: Why did you get pregnant, why are you not in school, and what ARE you thinking, to think someone ought to support you the rest of your life just because you have a kid?
You don't appear to be that way. Good for you sweetie.... keep your eye on that degree, come out of college with a saleable skill, and you'll have a great life. And just as a little hint: Children do not bind a couple, they divide. So before you have children, be sure you have a strong marriage, because for sure, kids will test its strength..... Good luck, sweetie
2006-11-12 14:34:03 · answer #8 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Take the advice from someone who thought they had a plan too.Wait until you are much older,30 if possible.I know you are saying to yourself "NOWAY".Believe me life is hard and if you think the things you have had to deal with so far are tough well it gets tougher.Enjoy the time you have and be young have fun with your life for now.When you start a family to early your dreams seem to find away to disappear.Have your dreams now and try to live as many as possible before you settle down.When you have to go to work everyday,pay bills,feed a family and take care of a home dreams seem to come last on that list.
2006-11-12 14:25:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just make sure you go to college as well, My hubby and I got married at 18, have been married 15 years, have two beautiful boys and a great life. It depends on the relationship and the people. Some people are to young to get married this young but some aren't all depends on your situation.
2006-11-12 14:32:32 · answer #10 · answered by advicemama 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋