This is in regards to a question that was asked earlier. A young woman asked about" If a man says he is happily married but has a long term affair??" One of the responses from another man was " basically that if the woman was happy in her marriage than why should it matter, because having sex with another woman was nothing more than a form of masterbation, as long as there are no feelings involved, because women in the old days accually appriciated when their men visited prostitutes because it would relieve them of their wifely duties" Please tell me I am not the only one who has any moral values!!! Tell me your thoughts on this situation.
2006-11-12 13:42:16 · 15 answers · asked by veronica c 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
cheating is wrong, and it destroys trust and marriages, we may love someone with all of our heat, but it takes alot more than love to keep a marriage going after trust has been destroyed. when someone cheats, and sleeps with someone else, there most certinly is a feeling there.
2006-11-12 13:56:57 · answer #1 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not believe that are happy marriages when one spouse has long term or short term affair. The most common answer to why spouses cheat is that something is wrong in the marriage and the affair is a bi-product of those problems, even when most other aspects of the relationship are working well. “The problem” is often one that the faithful spouse who would never think of cheating does not see or has elected to ignore for one reason or another. Other times, the marriage has changed and evolved in a way that leaves the cheating husband or cheating wife feeling left out or somehow empty. Those changes may include a shift in attitudes toward one another and the problems ensue. When a spouse feels that his or her needs are not being met, some turn to their work, others to drugs or alcohol and many to the arms of another man or woman. Although this appears to be the most common cause, there are others who engage in an affair or infidelity purely for the sex. They do not want their relationship to end, they simply seek the thrill that being with someone else brings. Either way, the pain, humiliation and betrayal are the same when cheating is discovered.
2006-11-12 13:57:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The man got his quote wrong. Back in the old times they told men that they should visit prostitutes so they would be experienced for their wives.
During the time of the first reigning empires,wives had little to say about their husbands visiting prostitutes,because as long as their husbands stayed wtih them and cared for them,it was no big thing.
But along the lines of moral,it kind of does matter. Marriage is supposed to be monogomous. But there is such thing as you forgiving and forgetting THAT PERSON. Typically adultrey is a sin regularly considered to be something you can divorce by.
You don't need to say,oh you should except it. Monogomy is always challenged,but its someones personal choice to forgive and stay.
2006-11-12 13:55:58 · answer #3 · answered by Ellie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are not the only one with some moral values.
Whomever said "because having sex with another woman was nothing more than a form of masterbation" has a rather diminished view of himself and other women. I suspect neither woman is not having a real fun time in bed with this guy!
Faithfulness does matter. Temptations come and go. But your actions, your virtues do matter.
2006-11-12 13:48:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you, what was he thinking? when you go in front of god and make the vows of marriage, you promise not to cheat! since when was it ever acceptible to cheat on your wife? If a women was having a long term affair she'd be called all kinds of terrible things. I always felt masterbation meant you pleasing yourself not another man or women pleasing you as long as there were no feelings. I really couldnt understand being in that kind of marriage. I know I wouldnt want to be in that kind of relationship because I have respect for myself.
2006-11-12 13:49:57 · answer #5 · answered by htmama 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sex is sex, whether there are feelings involved or not. i think maybe some women in the old days might have been thankful that their husbands left the house so that they didn't have to feel like they had to cater to them. but i doubt any woman can really be happy for long-term with their husband going to see a prostitute.
adulterous sex only breeds jealousy and hatred in the long run and eventually ruins a marriage b/c i doubt the wife would be happy with that arrangement for a long time.
2006-11-12 13:47:39 · answer #6 · answered by mighty_power7 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is disrespect. At the same time an affair results in a dissolution of marriage but may also lead to a better one. One wouldnt look for the thrill of the chase or the consumation of if happy to begin with at home.
2006-11-12 14:20:39 · answer #7 · answered by bountyhunter101 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would think that what the man meant when he said he was happily married,is that he was happy with the set up he has. Obviously not happily married or the affair wouldn't have happened
2006-11-12 14:47:05 · answer #8 · answered by nidan 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that if two people are married they should only be having sex with each other. Marriage is about trust and loyalty, if you're having an affair, there's no trust or loyalty.
2006-11-12 13:45:48 · answer #9 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You can not separate love from respect, you can not have one without the other- you can not have a marriage with a spouse stepping out on the other-and if it were me, it'd be a one shot deal.
2006-11-12 13:57:12 · answer #10 · answered by Not In Kansas? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋