It's like I have no more friends.I just stay home and take care of my boyfriend and my 3 kids and we never go do things anymore.AAhhhhh.Any words of advice?
2006-11-12 13:12:10 · 8 answers · asked by oregoncheeto 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Welocome to parenting.
Guess what, when they leave for college and the house has no kids, you will look back and wonder where the years went and wished you'd spent even more time with them.
Its hard to imagine right now but they will be gone way to soon.
Enjoy this time as you do not get to repeat it. The kids, and you to for that matter, are only young once.
The only real imperitive is that you do not forget to be a couple first and parents second. You are parents now but were a couple first. You will be a couple in 20 years when they are gone.
2006-11-12 13:30:02 · answer #1 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't have kids but I can totally imagine feeling this way.
The answer is simpler than you might think.
The greatest thing about life is that it is changeable. You can wake up in the morning and make any changes you want. Always.
- Have your boyfriend watch the kids a few nights so you can go out with friends
- Get a friend, family member, or baby-sitter to watch your kids a few nights so you can go out with your boyfriend
- Find a part-time job that offers daycare - having a job can be the best way to feel like you have a life
- Put your kids in daycare if you can afford it.
- Try "kid-swapping" - you watch your kids + someone else's kids on 3 days of the week, and they watch your kids with their own the rest of the week.
- Invite your friends over and put your kids in front of the TV watching a DVD and hang out with your friends in the kitchen and cook
- Hire a baby sitter or "mothers helper" to help you around the house
-
2006-11-12 21:24:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I too feel like this all too often. I recently got involved with a church and volunteer a lot of time there. We are currently working on the Christmas play building backgrounds, doing costumes etc.. it is a lot of fun and takes up my free time and the children have things to do there too. I also joined a pool league (i love shooting pool) and have someone watch the kids on WEDNESDAY night for me, for about 4 hrs, some time for me. I am not married.. so I do not have to worry about that. Find something to put yourself into, volunteer your time. Focus on someone else's needs, then your problems really do seem to fade away. I think a lot of it that once you are helping someone else, you figure out your problems are not that bad! I am sure the hospital, retirement homes, etc around your home town could use some help, volunteers do not get paid monetarily, but the benefits mentally for ALL involved-are great!
Good luck
2006-11-12 21:23:03 · answer #3 · answered by SKayeMesqTX 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Patients my love, patients. Also, find the time.
Once in awhile, even if it's only a few times a year, find the time for the two of you or just for you.
I am a single mom a teenager. Guess what, I suddenly have all the time in the world for my significant other and even for just myself. When my son was younger I would not allow myself time for myself or those I was dating and myself alone. I thought I would be considered a bad mom if I put my own desires 1st from time to time.
Ok, I gave myself a break. I took time for ME, even if it was only for an hour or two. I felt so much better about my home life and about myself once I did that a few times. Then I took time for my relationship. How you ask? My parents would babysit, my sister and eventually my boyfriend. I'd go and get a haircut and then walk around a mall for the heck of it. I'd go to a book store and browse. Get your nails done, window shop, buy yourself a new pair of socks for cryin' out loud. Just something that is just for you.
Before you know it, the kids are taking care of themselves and you and hubby can "date" again.
It's a blast.
Life is short, enjoy the moment, and find time for YOU.
2006-11-12 21:19:51 · answer #4 · answered by BIZ Z 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh yes I know the feeling all to well. I am a single father with 3 boys. I know how it feels not to have a life outside of them. But I keep telling myself that someday I will have one. I just hope it's before I get to old to have it.
But also you and your boyfriend should go out. Maybe you should try a babysitter or family member to help you with the kids so you can go out. Even if it's for just a few hours. Every minute counts....
2006-11-12 21:27:44 · answer #5 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be happy that you have a place to live and that your kids need you still . I am sure you can find time to get out of the house for some alone time . If you make it a point to have some ME time you won't feel like this anymore. My kids and grown and gone and i wish for one more day with them like when they were little and needed their mother.
2006-11-12 21:21:30 · answer #6 · answered by IT'S JUST ME ! 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
lol im a single dad of 2 little girls i hear what you are saying you just need to find time for your self.
2006-11-12 21:15:43 · answer #7 · answered by little_bear 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
as little ac put it I have 3 little girls and no (freind) your time will ***.
2006-11-12 21:55:13 · answer #8 · answered by valveman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋