I am 30 and my fince is 22, 6ft, 161 lbs. and great looking! I am 92 pounds, blonde, blue eyed,a nd also a mother of three.. I am not an eyesore whatsover. My fiance was hurt at work last winter and for a while had errectile dysfunction. Then everything seemed better, but as many girls are still felt something was wrong with me. Then the problems happened again. We have been to numerous doctor's including urologists and they find nothing wrong with him. The problems recurr from time to time and I feel it is because I am an older woman and a mother and therefor maybe he does not see me as attractive and as much of a turn on. I tried watching some of those seedy movies with him that come on late night and he doesn't seem to have any of those problems as long as we watch them. Now my problem is that we hardly ever make love anymore, but by the recording status on our DVR he is still watching those movies when i am not around. So why does he deny it and what is the matter with me?
2006-11-12 12:44:21 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Hun there is nothing wrong with you, those movies have expectations not many can reach. Work on the love, the love that brought you together and the rest will be there. P.S. Toss the movies and watch what happens!!
2006-11-12 12:55:51 · answer #1 · answered by The Cleaner 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, this is a problem. Here's the facts - he ain't into you as much as he's into the porn flicks. Probably has nothing to do with your age nor your children. In fact, 30 w/children and not an eyesore is darn sexy in my erotic brain.
I had ED for a couple years and finally concluded that I wasn't in love with any of my partners, and after a few times it was just not that much fun anymore.
Now I'm married and haven't had any recurrence.
Here's what I suggest, but you have to get to him before he watches the flicks and masturbates. YOu have to initiate sex in a way that makes yourself irresistible and he can't refuse. See, you have abdicated your role as sex partner to the flicks. Now you have to reclaim that. Start giving him oral 2 or 3 times a day. What will happen is that he will either enjoy the oral or he will take the lead and be the aggressor. So as long as he spends his ammunition in you, he won't have anything but blanks left for the flicks.
Good Luck
2006-11-12 20:55:36 · answer #2 · answered by snvffy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have two problems. First you gave him the green light by "Allowing" (if you will) him to watch the movies. You need to slwoly, calmly let him know 24x7 porn was not what you had in mind.
Second, and you're not going to like this, is he's 8 yrs younger than you. He may a hottie, but he's still really really young. I mean c'mon, 22? And you're 30 w/kids? You are in two different stages in life. He's just beginning and you're in it for the long haul. He may be hanging with you, but what you have is not in his long term goals. Trust me, it's not.
You may have been lonely, considered yourself un-sexy because of age/kids/divorce/etc, and he was a walking testosterone factory. He's doing you good and you find that appealing, but take a good look at your situation. He should be in college, not raising a family. His parents probably still give him money.
The time you have right now is not about you, it's about your kids. When you became a mom your life went on hold, and now it revolves a round them. Stop horsing around and be a mom. There's time for guys, but right now your kids need you.
Keep in mind one very important thing. I don't know tha age of your kids - pretty young I'll assume by your age, but they're watching everything you do. They may not be looking at you, but they're watching. Not to imply anything, but if you have a revolving door on your bedroom at night, so will they.
Good luck and may God bless!!
2006-11-12 21:09:36 · answer #3 · answered by Jim C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Part of the problem is that he is 22 -- he still has not settled down enough to where he's not looking at others. The doctors' visits have probably also have shaken his confidence in performing; when he's watching the movies pleasing himself he doesn't have to worry about performance.
What I would do is let him make the moves and find a time when you and he are alone to enjoy -- with kids it can be hard to find also.
2006-11-12 21:04:12 · answer #4 · answered by Rex 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A man that is 22 isn't going to be able to give you what you need. He hasn't learned enough about his own self to really give you what you need which sounds like some comfort in knowing that he still desires you. You may be a hot chic with an awsome body and great personality. He may really care about you but if he hasn't had enough of his "rolls in the hay" phase it doesn't matter what you look like..
By him watching movies instead of watching you, you already know whats going on, he is finding more satisfaction is watching them then being intamate with you..
Im sorry but in your heart you know the truth just admit it to yourself..
2006-11-12 21:01:00 · answer #5 · answered by kaliprincess82 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do something he'd never thought you would do, such as dress ups, naughty toys, turn yourself (or him) into a body buffet. Spoil him rotten with tons of foreplay where YOU do all the work. That'll get him off the couch and under the sheets more often knowing that your a killer in bed.
(Take 2 multivitamin tablets daily to keep your energy up)
2006-11-12 20:59:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off bad move bringing porn into your life a good book would have done just as good if not better now it seems that your fiance is obcessed with porn. Get rid of the porn if he freaks tell him its me and this relationship or porn take your pick if he chooses the porn you are better off without him. It's better to do something now then wait until your hitched and all.
2006-11-12 20:48:49 · answer #7 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well mabe he needs to experiment some and is looking for different kind of play. by the sounds of it he is recording them and if so, see about watching them with him ask what he would like to try and if he can show you what he wants. Either he is occupied with someone else or you have insulted his performance where he cannot function with you. Ask what he would like to try.
2006-11-12 21:02:19 · answer #8 · answered by Blaze 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go out and buy some adult toys to use togather--don't over analise things ---let him know what you htink--don't sell yourself short--but find things that work for the both of you!
2006-11-12 20:49:33 · answer #9 · answered by I'm laughing WITH you 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U have to spend more time with him.
2006-11-12 20:47:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋