My husband cheated several times within 10 years and never really been remorseful and open about it.?

Question

Because of this I have neverl really forgiven him. To this day her remains condescending about it all although his has changed his ways. I am no longer in love, dont' trust him, and feel trapped because we have kids. I want to leave but friends advise me to stay eventhough I know what I want.

Answer 1

if you give him all the sex you can and that's still not enough for him, maybe he's oversexed.

Answer 2

This is an awful situation that you shouldn't have to deal with. Any spouse that breaks their vows isn't worth a single tear. Trust is the very foundation of marriage, without trust there is no union. These people who say to stay aren't true friends. The decision is yours to make. What you can and cannot tolerate in love and marriage. His disrespectful callous demeanor about what he's done shows that he's willing to risk losing his wife and children over and over again. First and foremost get a plan together, do anything and everything to make sure that you and the children will be provided for and in the midst of all of it, keep your children and there well being first and foremost, get them in conseling, yourself too, if you think it will help. Get a bank account in your own name and make sure you have all the finances and credit written down. See an attorney, maybe you'll get separated first, divorce later, in either case he'll know this is serious, you can kick him out, file for a divorce, but whatever you do, try not to do anything rash, consider first what you want and begin with the end result in mind. You'll get there and you'll be a happier person. This may or may not be the only life we get, the only time on earth we ever have, don't waste your time on someone who cares so little for you. I wish you the very best of luck in love and in life. Someone told me once, and I believe they were right, your happiness is what's most important, remember your children are just passing through your life, your husband is your life. Children will go off to lead their own lives and one day it will be you and your husband, so make sure you're happy with him because one day you may look back and regret staying.

Answer 3

I think it is only a matter of time before each and everyone of us learns that we must listen to our hearts to lead our lives. If you have no feelings for him, you don't trust him, feel trapped, and want to leave, then you know what you must do. The human heart was never designed to live with the feelings you are experiencing now, so why wait. You are just as important as any child. It will be hard, but you need your freedom. You will feel so much better, but it will take time and will require some big life changes. I do not agree with your friends advice to stay.

Answer 4

The key to this is how old are your kids. I left my cheating husband after 5 years Our son was 5 years old and he is fine. I made it on my own until i got remairried. I married for the wrong reason this time and i want out but i can not get out right now. Money is an issue. When i can fix it I am leaving. You have to make a choice for yourself and not because someone tells you what they think. You can do anything whether it is to stay and suffer or to move on.

Answer 5

Do NOT listen to your friends. Kids are a HORRIBLE reason for staying in a marriage. You may THINK you're doing them a favor by providing them with a "mommy and daddy" life, but the constant fighting and snubbing is going to do more bad than good. Trust me. And why the hell didn't you leave the FIRST time that bastard cheated on you? Come on, now! Find some backbone and get a divorce! I'm sure you've heard of these things considering more than half of all marriages end up in them. *cough**cough*

Answer 6

I can understand why you feel as you do about your husband....,you should definitely go get some counseling.....and learn to work through your feelings.... then you could be better equipped to make the decision to stay or leave....Do it for your children....If you can't work through the feelings, the resentment and bitterness will continue to grow....and will effect every area of your life and also your childrens for the rest of your lives.......Counseling can help validate what you are feeling...whether your cheating spouse ever owns what he has done or not. Get your inner power back as a person no matter what....it will make you a better mom and a better you......Good Luck...and Soldier on !

Answer 7

WOW! If I didn't know better I would have thought I posted this question!!!! I have had the same thing happen to me and I can't move forward. Whenever I get mad those feeling of his lies come back like it just happen. At time I wish I could leave but I too have kids and know it would mess their lives up. Get some help and work through it the best that you can. Good luck

Answer 8

michelle: I truly, feel for you ! There's no point in me ranting on about the jerk you are married to, so I would say to you seek marriage counselling and if jerko doesn't go with you, go there yourself. You require support while you are battling the pented up emotions and feelings. This is a very important step and I would urge you to seek out a competent marriage counsellor. If your "husband" is still carrying on with his cheating and / or is abusive to you in other ways, think about leaving him so the children aren't being exposed to the toxic enviorment resulting from this. Good luck to you; michelle !

Answer 9

if he has never shown remorse, how could u ever move past it, and be happy. if u want to leave, or make him leave do it. cheating is something one never forgets even if you could forgive it, he has done nothing to show repentance, if u know what u want and your sure than go for it. you are never trapped, u can do anything u set your mind to do.

Answer 10

I have the answer for you...GET NEW FRIENDS...
COME ON...holy smokes...Am I the only one that lives in reality?
Seriously...read what you just wrote...I want YOU to read your question...and tell me what you would tell this person...
You are worth so much more. You know in your heart that you are not happy...not in love with this man...don't trust him...
You need to leave him...not only for yourself...but for your kids...

Answer 11

What advice are you looking for? If my husband did it twice, I'd never look back. Once I could forgive. 10 times is your fault more than his. Sorry. Stay or get out. Your decision.