I am twenty-one and my spouse is eleven years older than me.
I was raised by my grandmother who didn't pay attention or respect her husband (he was very very happy when he decided to leave.) I never had a real example of a husband and wife relationship growing up. This is my very first serious relationship and it’s like he's teaching me how to be a fiancée. It gets really annoying for both of us, and I tend to make the mistakes that are the most severe to him even after he tells me not to make them. I don't know how to get it right and I'm so confused. he's giving me all these chances, but each time I make another mistake. Like today I woke up late even after the other day he told me he was taking me out. I love him very much and don't understand why I can't succeed in making him happy. Am I a bad, unappreciative person? Or should I have gotten in a lot of practice growing up? Please tell me the truth, or a resolution, I feel so bad for him
2006-11-12 12:28:07 · 11 answers · asked by Muse 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This guy is TEACHING you how to be his fiancee??? WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?? Does he want a mate or a service dog??? You are not responsible for anyone's happiness but your own! He is wanting to make you over into his image of perfection. A perfect slave to a very imperfect master. Put on your best pair of running shoes and make tracks!! There's nothing ahead for you in this "relationship" except servitude and misery.
2006-11-12 12:34:40 · answer #1 · answered by missingora 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honestly - I think it is HIM who has the problem.
You woke up late?? So WHAT. That's not a major mistake. I thought you meant you cheated on him or something. No man should be making you feel bad for oversleeping? Is he your Father? It sounds like you never had a Father so you sought out an older man who could "teach" you how to act and tell you what "mistakes" you are making
2006-11-12 21:08:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are you. I think if he loves you he should accept your shortcomings. If you didn't wake up late or whatever else you do that you think he thinks is wrong then you wouldn't be you. In future though set an alarm when he expects you to be up and going, and then neither of you will feel bad. Keep it real.
2006-11-12 20:41:57 · answer #3 · answered by Tracie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
not growing up with a happy married couple around is not an excuse. my parents weren't the happiest of people and my hubby didn't even have a mother. we are doing just fine. you have to want to make your relationship work instead of looking for reasons why it's not.
2006-11-12 20:32:58 · answer #4 · answered by redpeach_mi 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You sound like a wonderful girl that any man would be
lucky to have...It is good that you got a mature man who should
be happy to have you and overlook all those little things that really
don't matter anyway...Just keep trying and so will he..
Everything should work out just fine...Don't get discouraged..
2006-11-12 20:32:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I don't think that you should try to change yourself to make someone happy. BEING YOU...and you alone should be enough for him. It is like he doesn't want to marry YOU...the real you. He wants to marry the person he is trying to turn you into. Why do you want to spend the rest of your life...trying to be someone you are not to make someone ELSE happy...that makes NO SENSE! You are here for YOU...and you alone...make YOURSELF HAPPY. My goodness...
2006-11-12 20:34:52 · answer #6 · answered by ladydrea2918 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think the not having role models is a cop out. Just treat him the way you want to be treated and everything should be fine.
2006-11-12 20:30:54 · answer #7 · answered by Tigerlillie 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
no , just aviod it all together , trust me a 60% divorce rate does not make a marriage these days
2006-11-12 20:32:24 · answer #8 · answered by rivman 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
maybe hes to old for you and sounds like hes trying to change u and control u
2006-11-12 20:34:13 · answer #9 · answered by alisa f 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sure go out with someone else!
2006-11-12 20:29:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋