I am 33. My husband is 46. He has 3 children from a previous marraige. When we met - I was very clear about my desire to have kids, and he was very clear about his desire to not have kids. He said - I love you so much though - "I will give you a child." I believe he loved me so much - that he would want a child - he doesn't. The worse part - I have lost two babies - and now he says things like - I kept my promise - I gave you two - this hurts. He also frequently reminds me that he doesn't want a baby. I don't know if I should stay. I also worry about how he will treat our child - especially in comparison to how he treats his 3 children from his preivous marriage. Our marriage is a rocky one to top it off. He is a VP at a large company and he uses this power against me quite a lot - and says with his money he could replace my beauty easily and just have someone to adore him and travel - not have to have a family - should I stay in this situation?
2006-11-12 11:24:11 · 20 answers · asked by mdcmc 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Why do you want to stay? I'm not seeing what you are getting from this relationship that would make you consider giving up your desire for a family to stay with this insensitive control freak. Walk away now, while you still have time to find someone else who wants the same things you want.
2006-11-12 11:31:17 · answer #1 · answered by gatheringplace2002 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You made a dedication to not have from now on infants once you had your tubes tied. Does dedication advise not something to you? don't have from now on infants exceedingly while you're suffering to grant for the youngsters you have already got or are in basic terms doing it for the sake of your boyfriend/husband or perhaps though. that may not a solid reason to have a toddler. bear in innovations, a toddler isn't only a duplicate of you and your companion, neither is it only an expression of affection. a toddler is a guy or woman who merits to not be born if the two determine is uncertain or romanticizes the belief of reproducing.
2016-10-21 23:45:36 · answer #2 · answered by comesana 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your still young and you could find a good man that wants to have a family. If you think your marrige is rocky then what if it ends one day. You'll be left with no husband and no children. Take him for half of everything and start a new life. By the way, these days you dont even need a man to have a bub.
2006-11-12 11:39:30 · answer #3 · answered by Kylie P 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You could try therapy, but it doesnt sound as if he would be that receptive to that. He sounds quite low on the self esteem and uses power trips/put downs to control you. If you really do want children, then you will have to let him go. He doesn't sound very supportive about much. It may actually be a blessing that you DONT have kids with this man.
2006-11-12 11:28:15 · answer #4 · answered by Jay Jay 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stay and let him rule you as some tyrant or get out while you are still young enough to find a decent man who could give you the children you want. Personally, i wouldnt waste another minute with him. He is a very cruel and uncaring man. Your partner is supposed to enhance you, not walk all over you.........good luck in your decision
2006-11-12 11:50:49 · answer #5 · answered by classy&sassy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well then why did you even get married it appears he already told you he didn't want anymore so it wasn't like he left it out before
you got married so in your case all I can recommend is divorce or an annulment and find a younger guy who wants kids. It seems he just wanted some arm candy with no baggarge or future baggage you should not have married him if this is how you felt and how he felt period.
2006-11-12 11:34:14 · answer #6 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your marriage is rocky, a child, especially when he doesn't want one is only going to make it worse.
His saying with his money he could replace your beauty is another red flag. If you decide to leave him to find someone to have a child with then do it the right way.
Get a divorce before you meet someone, hopefully you haven't signed a prenup that leaves you with nothing.
2006-11-12 11:36:17 · answer #7 · answered by OleMarbleEyes 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You sound unhappy... and if he wants or does not want kids is one thing, but to hold his money and power over your head sounds like he really isn't the nicest guy in the world... Maybe you owe to yourself to be happy. In time you are both going to grow resentful to each other because you want two different things. Before it is too late, maybe you really need to think about what you want in life... Good luck to you...
2006-11-12 11:35:51 · answer #8 · answered by Couple of Cents 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't stay. Put all the other crap between you aside and think of it this way...will you regret it if you never have kids? And, is this man worth giving up that dream for? I think you already know the answer to this question.
2006-11-12 11:27:30 · answer #9 · answered by blonde_bitch_norris 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Forget about a child, he is abusive and controlling.
Get away from him, if he sees you as replaceable with his money, then let him replace you. You win and he loses. He does not know what love is.
Take care,
Troy
2006-11-12 11:46:45 · answer #10 · answered by tiuliucci 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋