how do i deal with a tricky situation?

Question

I got a question for you if you, If you was in a relationship
and your partner had a kid with someone one else
who happend to be very up in you face sort of person
inviting them selve round for dinner you know that
your partner is faithful but not sure that there being
true to themselves with regards to your feelings !
who would you say was in the rong! your
partner for letting it happen and constantly
reassurring you that theres nothing in it and
making a big deal out of nothing and that its because of the
child???
I know
it sounds a bit jaring but how would you see the situation?

Answer 1

If that person doesn't live in your house, they have no right to come under your roof and disrespect you. I understand wanting to keep peace for the child, but that doesn't mean you're invisible. How is it good for the child to see grown ups taking advantage and disrespecting people?
I have seen this happen a lot with different people in my family. Your partner needs to get a backbone, and tell that person "being rude to my partner is the same as being rude to me." It is up to them to handle the ex -- if you say something, it'll get twisted around.
So my advice is, sit down with your partner and talk about it. Don't get angry or dramatic, just say you want to have a serious talk. Tell them you don't appreciate the way you're treated. You work hard to make a good home, and it should be your sanctuary, where you can feel comfortable. If they say you're over reacting, bring up the fact that you've allowed it for some time and it hasn't gotten easier.
reassure that your problem is not with the ex. The ex is welcome to visit, but not when they act ugly. That simply isn't too much to ask for. If they don't see it that way, you're going to have a problem.

Answer 2

I would say you're both wrong. Your partner for not considering your feelings and putting a stop to them just dropping by uninvited. You need to realize that your partners ex is always going to be a part of her life because of the child and it would be unfair to the child to prohibit them from contact with there other parent.

Answer 3

family relationships are tricky at the best of times, the kid concerened is lucky that both parents are there, however if I were the girlfiend I wouldnt be putting up with his x coming round or inviting her self for tea, you could alway order takeaway and hope she gets the hint, or giove rher a bag of chips on the doorstep then shut the door - but that will casue friction = really I wouldnt put up with that

Answer 4

point is they're with you. granted a child is involved but that doesnt mean you have to see the ex. you feelings should count as well and she really shouldnt be inviting her self along to dinner and such. suggest you explain in great detail to your partner how he'd feel if the shoe was on the other foot.

Answer 5

When you are both relaxed talk to him and let him know how you feel. If he still insists it ok maybe ask him to talk to her about it. I am very close friends with my ex-partner but she always asks if it is ok to come and wouldn't if I had company, it shows respect to the both of you. Good luck

Answer 6

Suggest that you might invite your ex (assuming you have one) round for dinner, see his reaction and explain what's good for the goose is good for the gander, I bet he would soon put a stop to it all if he thought your ex would actually come round

Answer 7

i know how you feel,i have a daughter by my ex and only lately he was coming up to my house and passing sly comments to my boyfriend about when we were together,it was causins arguments between me and my boyfriend so i stopped him coming up because i thought at the end of the day thats what he wanted,to see me and my partner argueing over him.

Answer 8

eh? i didn't get that at all, try right spelling and/or spell check.