just got off the phone with the principal of the school I work at. (I'm a history teacher). One of my best and brightest students has suffered a terrible tragedy. Just before school started in August this girl lost her father. He was a firefighter and was killed in the line of duty. Yesterday she and her mom were in a bad car crash. Her mom was killed instantly (car was apparently t-boned on the driver's side) and the girl was trapped in the car for twenty minutes before they were able to get her free. She was relatively uninjured. (Sprained wrist and bruised ribs and collar bone from the seatbelt plus some cuts). So basically this girl lost her father and has now watched her mom die. What can I say to her? She'll be living with her grandmother and they intend to keep her at her school to maintain what continuity they can. What words can I offer her in this really tough time. She's 13 and the guidance that is offered her can make or break her handling this. Any advice?
2006-11-12 10:32:32 · 8 answers · asked by bubb1e_gir1 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
She has a ten year old brother and a four year old sister.
2006-11-12 10:33:10 · update #1
The school therapist knows and will be working with the family to get all three kids counseling. I work for an amazing school district and the school will offer to pay for professional therapy.
2006-11-12 10:36:40 · update #2
Just my own personal advice, and of course, only handle this sensitve situation as you feel best.
I think maybe to just let the class know that you will not tolerate any abusive behavior towards this student, no matter how minor it seems. Do not do this in front of the student who had this horrible experience of course.
Then as far as the student herself is concerned, I don't think I would directly say anything to her unless she seems to need your help directly. Otherwise, it may just bring things back to the forefront when she is trying to handle this situation. If however she seems to need a shoulder, then I would deffinately let her know that if she needs someone that you would be there for her. I think that is the best route to take. You may also want to get into touch with her grandparents and see if maybe they have any advice or guidance in this situation as they know this student the best. I would not be pushy though. Just give her time. :-)
Hope this helps. My prayers go out to the girl who has to be as stong as any trooper out there right now. Best of luck to you as well.
2006-11-12 11:00:03 · answer #1 · answered by lil_blu101 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
o my god. I am 12. I go to Ensign in Costa Mesa CA. If that ever happened to me I would feel like crawling into a whole and i would never come out. well I would imagine that a big giant hug is in order. don't say anything in front of the class. there is nothing that you can really say to her except for I am here if you need to talk. if her grades drop which I imagine that they will. give her time for extra credit or something like that. I just lost my grandma this morning and I just stopped crying. Well now that I read this I am crying again. hugs and comfort. is all that I can say.
2006-11-12 18:40:45 · answer #2 · answered by fruity_pebbles 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh my God, the biggest hug a person can give. don't hold back the emotions, she will see a put-on. be true and give from the heart. treat her fair, too. no "feel sorry for her" attitude, but have sympathy and sorrow. expect the best she can offer for now and more when some time has passed. you're the teacher, give her something to look forward to and work for.
2006-11-12 18:43:10 · answer #3 · answered by blueJean 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's good that the district is offering good therapy, but remember that if she doesn't want it, don't push it. You could try giving her some space to reflect, but she may or may not feel like she has to cling on to those she loves.
2006-11-12 18:41:03 · answer #4 · answered by lex 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that you know what she is feeling (wether you do or not), and tell her that-like all obstacles in life- this too will pass. Just get through it the best she can, and if she has any problems, or if she just wants to talk; feel free to come to you at any time......
2006-11-12 18:37:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
omg i feel like crying thats so sad. just tell her that u will be there if she needs some one to talk to. maybe getting school therapist to talk to her, being the oldest she is probably really hurt and confused now about wether its now time she loses her childhood and helps care for her siblings. and pray for her
2006-11-12 18:39:47 · answer #6 · answered by mrs nevz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
all you can do is be there for her , let know your door is always open for her and your not only her teacher but you can be a friend to her, don't tell her you know what she is going through unless you have been there
2006-11-12 18:45:53 · answer #7 · answered by wilco254 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just let her know that ur there for her if she needs to talk. the things u think sound small can mean the world to who ur saying it to.
2006-11-12 18:35:30 · answer #8 · answered by dred_loxx_4life 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋