just got off the phone with the principal of the school I work at. (I'm a history teacher). One of my best and brightest students has suffered a terrible tragedy. Just before school started in August this girl lost her father. He was a firefighter and was killed in the line of duty. Yesterday she and her mom were in a bad car crash. Her mom was killed instantly (car was apparently t-boned on the driver's side) and the girl was trapped in the car for twenty minutes before they were able to get her free. She was relatively uninjured. (Sprained wrist and bruised ribs and collar bone from the seatbelt plus some cuts). So basically this girl lost her father and has now watched her mom die. What can I say to her? She'll be living with her grandmother and they intend to keep her at her school to maintain what continuity they can. What words can I offer her in this really tough time. She's 13 and the guidance that is offered her can make or break her handling this. Any advice?
2006-11-12 10:25:57 · 9 answers · asked by bubb1e_gir1 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
She has a ten year old brother and a four year old sister.
2006-11-12 10:28:08 · update #1
The school therapist knows and will be working with the family to get all three kids counseling. I work for an amazing school district and the school will offer to pay for professional therapy.
2006-11-12 10:34:33 · update #2
Sweetie,i rarely get bothered by these answers or questions here,a rare few.However,the one who said "And that she can get over it" is totally not sensitive at all.It is rude to tell someone especially that age,and have gone through what she did,to get over it.Its unacceptable,and she probably will never get over it.
Im sorry,i had to get that out tho.There is nothing at all,that you can do to make her "feel better".The only thing that will heal her is time,and even then she is never going to completely get over it.Losing a parent is hard,but she lost two and she isnt going to be as herself for a while.You cannot force her to speak to you,although you can offer.Let her know you are there when she needs you,and you could even give her your home phone number,if you are comfortable with that.Tell her that you are there and will lend an ear anytime she needs.Also,encourage her to accept the help that the school is offering her.It is wonderful that there is actually a school out there that is sensitive to this type of issue.My heart goes out to this little girl and her family.I give you major props for wanting to help this little girl,you sound like a wonderful teacher.Have a good night hun,and Good luck.She and her family will be in my prayers.
2006-11-12 11:25:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
wow. Just be there for her. There are no magic words. The more support and comfort she has the better. Don't say you're sorry. Those words lack so much meaning. Talking to her about having strength and that she should mourn and get out her frustrations but help her be as positive as possible. Also give her some space and don't suffocate her. Hope she gets through.
2006-11-12 10:30:16 · answer #2 · answered by njjkidd5 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, if I were you, I would probably discuss this with the school guidance counselor or some type of therapist. Also, if you have one, I would discuss it with my Pastor, or some type of person who can give you spiritual guidance. A tragedy of this magnitude needs to be handled with the utmost care. We can not begin to imagine what this child is feeling. I would definately try to make her not feel singled out or different from her peers in any way.
Good luck!
2006-11-12 10:32:23 · answer #3 · answered by miss_fred 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a truely sad thing this is for this poor child. I can only suggest that you offer her your deepest hearfelt condolences and assure her that you will be there for her to help her in any way you can. Let her know that she can come to you and talk anytime.
The exact words to come up with in this situation are almost impossible. I am sure whatever you say to her she will know it is heartfelt and truely meant from your heart. That is really all you can do. My sympathies go out to this child.
2006-11-12 10:35:27 · answer #4 · answered by Janine E 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I observed a video from PETA that confirmed a father and his sons smashing one kangaroo after yet another against a truck and killing them. i assume they seem to be a large difficulty and a few human beings sense justified in doing that. now and lower back i'm merely unhappy to be a human.
2016-10-17 05:01:33 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her you are there if she wants to talk, then treat her like normal. If you treat her differently, it will just be harder on her. School is about the only normal she has left.
2006-11-12 10:30:12 · answer #6 · answered by Velken 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
omg i can't believe that!! that is sooooo sad~~ i would just let her no that if she ever needed anything that your there for her!!! wow if that happened to me i would never stop crying!!!
she'll be in my prayers!!
2006-11-12 12:37:49 · answer #7 · answered by ILY 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just let her know you'll be there for her, and if she ever needs to talk, you'll listen. my heart goes out to her.
2006-11-12 10:28:13 · answer #8 · answered by kimberly k 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that she needs to see a therapist and that she can get over it.
2006-11-12 10:28:51 · answer #9 · answered by baddrose268 5 · 0⤊ 3⤋