I consider this cheating and I try not to think about it but I can't help it. At times I even feel disgusted by it. He is the one that came to me and told me of this. I try to ask him what does this mean? Is he gay? Bi-sexual? or was he bi-curious? I try to ask but he brushes it off as if it isn't a big deal. When I do ask he says he is not gay but that is the end of the conversation. How can I find out? or How can he find out? I don't think he wants to know. So am I suppose to do act like nothing?
2006-11-12 09:30:14 · 34 answers · asked by Juicy 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
uhm...hes bisexual?
2006-11-12 09:31:38 · answer #1 · answered by the coolest person♥ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Anytime a person engages in a sexual activity with the same sex is homosexual. Breakdown the word. Homo means the same, and you know what sexual means so just by the mere meaning of the word he's indisputably gay. You don't have to have sex with the same sex a set number of times before you're consider gay. The fact that your husband desired a man meant he had homosexual tendencies. The fact that he desired a man so bad that he had sex with him means he's gay. Man + Man + penetration=homosexuality. Well just to be fair to him, does he still desire you? If so, that means he likes it from men and women and you just have a garden variety freak on your hands. Either way none of this really matters, the bigger question is are you going to leave because he cheated on you? Who cares who or what he cheated with, you are his wife and he broke a bond. So if you're not going to leave him it really doesn't matter if he's gay or straight. Cheating is cheating. Would it have made you feel better if he would've cheated with me because I'm a woman?
2006-11-12 11:10:24 · answer #2 · answered by piercedambition 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may have discovered a need for a feeling that a woman can't give him. Whether that is cheating is a matter of opinion. Is masturbating cheating, for example, because he didn't ask you to do it for him? You'd say no, BUT,that would be something you could have joined in on and were cheated out of.
So is receiving anal sex cheating, as another example, especially if done only for the sensation and not as an expression of affection? You could have been asked to watch, i suppose, but not to help in the performance of the act otherwise.
But you should at least try to get him to talk about it, as you don't at this point know the extent of the activity and whether it DOES in fact amount to cheating. You need to at least let him know of your concerns in this respect.
2006-11-12 11:02:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself this question, if you came to him and told him that you slept with 2 men, would he be OK with it? I think not. I'm sure if it was 2 women, hed think its OK because men are such idiots and so hypocritical about this. But really cheating is cheating. If that was me, and my gf came to me and said she slept with 2 men, (ewww) or 2 women, Id dump her *** like a hot potato!
Wether or not he his bi, gay or whatever is not your concern, what you need to figure out is if you want to be with him during this little "discovery" period he is going thru. It is NOT fair to you, and for him to blow you off is ridiculous. I would tell him to hit the door, and when and if he figures out what he wants, if its you and you still want to be with him, then work on the relationship. But I can tell you right now, if he admitted to 2 men in the last 7 yrs, there is probley alot more, and he will not change. Its time for you to find a husband that is going to be true to you honey. Good luck.
2006-11-12 09:58:01 · answer #4 · answered by arielsalom33 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's probably bisexual, dear. Why are you taking this so lightly? Had he been unfaithful with women, would you have reacted the same way?
The man committed adultery and that is grounds for divorce. You are enabling him to cheat. He does it because he can -- you allow it.
Talk this over with a trusted friend or counselor. Don't live like that any longer. You very well could have been exposed to an STD. Personally, I think your husband acted very inappropriately. What's to guarantee he will never do that again?
2006-11-12 17:13:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is cheating and he is probably gay. Of course you're disgusted, he is supposed to be faithful to you !
It is not your task to find out anything. He cheated on you, that tells you enough and he doesn't even show remorse. No matter if he cheats with a man or a woman, that would be the end of the story for me. I know it's easier said then done, but I'd leave him.
2006-11-13 01:05:16 · answer #6 · answered by meiguanxi :) 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
By no means should you act like nothing!
Dont you have rights ........Yes!
Do you want a cheating husband? Are you two still intimate if not then he is probably out there more then he says.
I would suspect he is lying anyways................he says twice since you were married...........you dont know how many straight men are out there fooling around with gay men behind their wives
backs.
And I must say you women dont seem to have a clue.
Let me tell you if my man never wanted me sexually and I had any inkling of such behavior.......he would be right out of my house in a flash.
What about aids and all the other STDs and what about you dont you deserve love?
Soffy but another line of lies to yourself...........he doesnt know what he is...............oh come on now dont you know what you are..........dont fall for that staller, shut you up, keep you quite, keep you a door mat line!
Of course he knows what or who he is and what turns him on......what man doesnt know that?
You need to get some help and stop worrying about him (unless your happy like this and want the future to be like this and worse)
He knows excatly what he is doing and how often now you need to do the same for and about yourself.
Get someone to follow him see what he does..........set up a camera (hidden) near your computer to see what he does on the computer when you are not around.
Find out his screen names and stuff by looking in the computer and pose as a guy and see what he does...........
You have choices and lots of them.
Good Luck
2006-11-12 09:47:58 · answer #7 · answered by Crampy Grampy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That means he has been sleeping with a LOT more men, and for some reason had to tell you about these 2 - it means he is at best bi-sexual, and it means that more than likely he will be bringing some sort of disease home to you.
2006-11-13 06:38:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, let me say this...cheating is cheating, whether it be with a man or with a woman. I would probably be ALOT more upset if I caught my husband cheating with a man. He is bound to be bi-sexual or either trying to figure out if he is gay.
2006-11-12 10:00:30 · answer #9 · answered by jennav 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would think he is bi. However, bi doesn't equal cheating. I am bi and no matter which sex i am with i am with THEM. What would your reaction be if he cheated on you with a female....same reaction should be here. If he were just curious and he says it won't happen again ask yourself if you can trust him. You should go to marriage counseling if he wont go by yourself. Hope that helps a little..........good luck
2006-11-12 10:57:07 · answer #10 · answered by t 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say that no matter who he has slept with, he is cheating on you. He doesnt respect you enough to keep it in his pants. He is bringing possible disease into your family which can possibly kill you. If he won't be true to you and intends to sleep with somebody else, there is no point to staying in the relationship. Kick him to the curb and move on, and find somebody who is NOT bi who will not disrespect you in this manner. Oh, and get an aids test. I would.
2006-11-12 09:40:47 · answer #11 · answered by veracitygrrl 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋