im 17 and im pregnant. my mom said she wants nothing to do with the baby. i have been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years and hes very supportive. he doesnt want me to abort. on the other hand...he doesnt want me to get into alot of problems with my mom so now hes telling me maybe i should just abort...if i dont have my moms support or help what would i even do??? what SHOULD i do??? help
2006-11-12 09:00:58 · 34 answers · asked by KDUB100 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I was in the same situation years ago. I chose not to abort the baby and he has been the light of my life as well as the source of a lot of gray hairs. His father, however, had a new girlfriend before I even had the baby. My mom came around and she's always been there for me and my son. It's a decision only you can make and there's no way to tell the future, so......sorry, that really doesn't help at all, does it? What I'm trying to say is, in your situation, you can't count on anybody but yourself. So just understand what you might be in for. You'll never get a good night's sleep again and it's never easy. From now on, for the rest of your life, every decision you make effects both you and the baby.
2006-11-12 09:07:42 · answer #1 · answered by Tina 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It IS your body and she can't make you abort a child. I know at 17 things are hard, and if your bf is the same age range, chances are he's not stable enough to support you. I would NOT recommend getting an abortion just to smooth things over with your mom. Not only would the "what-if's" haunt you forever for getting rid of a child you wanted, the resentment for your mother for putting you in that situation would only make things worse. And if you and bf want this child and are willing to sacrifice and support its needs, you'll find ways. How does his family feel about it? Is it possible that if the situation were laid out for them that you could move in with him? Do you have other supportive family members or friends who would be able to help you out? Even if you're feeling alone, you already said your bf is supportive, and if the case is actually that you don't have a trusted fried or family member to go to for help, public services are in place to ensure that your mother is not your only refuge, nor should she be. Focus on your child, not your mother, and you'll make the right decision. If your mother wants nothing to do with the baby, fine, she's not required to. YOU make the decisions here.
2006-11-12 09:14:22 · answer #2 · answered by desiderio 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What should you do?
You're 17. While an abortion isn't the answer, please PLEASE consider adoption. You have your WHOLE life ahead of you, and do you really think you can provide a baby with the life it deserves?
Now days YOU could choose the adopted family, and sometimes you even get paid. There are so many couples out there who would give a limb for a child.
Really though, think of your child. While your boyfriend is supportive, how old is he? How will you pay bills? Pay for the hospital stay to have the baby? What if there are complications? How will you work? What about day care? What about school?
While your relationship may be strong now, throwing a baby into the mix is going to complicate things. Where are you going to live, especially if your mom isn't supportive? How are you going to afford food for the baby, especially if you don't breastfeed?
Please consider adoption. You can ever have an open adoption where you visit your child.
2006-11-12 09:04:36 · answer #3 · answered by FaZizzle 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You need to contact a family planning counselor in your area. They can talk to you about your options and such. Abortion is not your only option. There is also adoption if you choose to not raise your baby with your boyfriend.
Raising a child is a very difficult job. Maybe your mom was speaking out of anger of you getting pregnant at such an early age. However, many women have become young mothers and still managed to make a decent living for themselves and raise their children. A good support system can make the world of difference. I am a single mother of 29, and I would not be able to manage if it weren't for the support system I have behind me everyday and all day.
This is something that you and your boyfriend need to discuss. Make a decision that will be good for the both of you.
2006-11-12 09:04:59 · answer #4 · answered by Meesh 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't get an abortion whatever you do. My best friend had the same trouble and she regrets her decision SO much. It has been years and she still can't get over it. It is best not to do it. If there will be problems with your mom, so be it...you are old enough to make decisions on your own and if your bf supports you, have him help you tell your mom you are going to keep it. If when you give birth you decide you can't handle the challenge, give it up for adoption...there are so many out there that are looking for people just like you! (my friend included who now can't have a baby) Good Luck and try and think a head in what will be the best for you AND the baby. Best wishes and I hope you have a beautiful healthy child! Good luck my friend.
2006-11-12 09:07:50 · answer #5 · answered by jamiasl 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Mother says, I had two out of three,seventeen year old girls get pregnant.One had a solid relationship,the other not.Both kept their babies and all has turned out great.The oldest is ten now.The youngest is two.I wouldnt have changed things for half a second.Its great being a young nana.I know several girls, pressured into abortions by mothers,and they both turnd around and got deliberately pregnant again within six months.I was at the births of both grandkids and it was more exciting than winning the lotto.There will be difficult times,but far more really great times.GOOD LUCK
Daughter says,i got pregnant wen i was 16,the baby was born wen i was 17 my boyfriend is 8 years older than me,we got engaged,and r living with his family.We had a girl,who is now 2 and shes beautiful,and very spoiled by both sets of granparents, who r all in their mid-40s,and her aunts,who adore her.looking after a baby wasnt as hard as every1 said,now i am pregnant with my 2nd, and its great!! im not going to populate the world but its great being a young mother my mum was 18 wen she had her first, being a young mum is really the best!
2006-11-12 09:54:28 · answer #6 · answered by kirsty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do you want to have an abortion, personally im against abortions, that baby deserves to be alive, and if you think that you can support and love that baby then keep it alive!! Ask your boyfriend if he's ready to be a dad and will support you! If he says that he will, then go for it!! I think that you shouldn't abort the baby!!! Talk to your mom about it, tell her that you already love this baby, and how you want it in your life, as well as hers. That you want this baby and our going to have it(only if your going to), and that it's coming into this world with or without her support, but that you really really really want her to say that it's ok, that she will support you, because you wouldn't have become the person that you are without her, and that even though your almost an adult you still need her
2006-11-12 09:05:34 · answer #7 · answered by ♥ Sydd 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Please go to an adoption center and get the advice you need. I know of someone who had her baby and was able to allow another family who wanted a child but were unable to have any take hers and start their family.
Your mom needs to be supportive and not ask you to abort your baby.
Don't go into this blind. Find an agency that will assist you in making choices. You could have an open adoption where you would be allowed to either see the baby or at least have contact with the family.
I think you need help in making the choice for the babies best interest and aborting is not in the babies best interest.
Bless your little bundle and please follow my advice or you will regret it later.
Best of all that is there for you. I will be thinking about you. Pray to God for the answers too.
Edit Kelly please don't allow others to push you into this. As you can see by the answers on here, abortion is so wrong for all involved, it is killing and the baby feels the pain too. Please I am begging you to find a place like an adoption center or planned parenthood or pro life organization to assist you. Again I will be praying that you make the choices for your baby first.
2006-11-12 09:07:58 · answer #8 · answered by sideways 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I know that you are in a difficult situation right now but please don't make a decision like that based on what your mother wants. My suggestion would for you to go full term with your pregnancy and maybe at that point if you are not ready to become a mother and live that life than put your baby up for adoption. There are a lot of people out there that can give your child a better life and a happy one at that so don't ruin it for your child because your mother can't support you.
2006-11-12 09:04:22 · answer #9 · answered by marie 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I had an abortion when I was 18, not something I am proud of but something I can not change at this point. If you dont want an abortion don' t let anyone talk you into one, boyfriend mom or friends. You will regret it your whole life. Be an adult tell your mother its your choice and beg for her support. Most parents change their minds anyway when they see their grandbabies. If you do keep this child, you and your boyfriend both need to get jobs ASAP and start saving money, talk about the custody issues that come with babies etc.
2006-11-12 09:05:08 · answer #10 · answered by Lori R 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋