2006-11-12 07:55:08 · 15 answers · asked by Boogerbum 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Never ask yes or no questions. Let your son know that when he is ready to talk, you will be there. I liked an idea that someone else had, play a game with him. Sometimes kids open up when you are not wanting answers from them.
2006-11-12 08:31:00 · answer #1 · answered by Mrs*HEBA*HOOD©â?¢ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The more comfortable your son is around you, the more willing he will be to open up to you. So from get to point A, which is your son has problems, to point B, which is him talking to you about them, you need to be at his level. Kids have a fear of disappointing their parents, or better yet, they are afraid of the consequences of the punishments their parents could enforce. They sometimes forget that mom and dad were once their age and had many of the same experiences. Parents and kids are both real people and have real experiences. Perhaps you can remind him of what it was like for you at 14, and the experiences you had, good and bad. The less "perfect" he has to be in your eyes, the more he will share with you. Never ever judge your son, or tell him he is wrong for feeling a certain way, etc. By making him feel this way, that is the best way to get him to keep secrets and to shut yourself out of his problems, which will be hard to get him to warm up to you again. A key to keeping the atmosphere good when talking to your son is to not sound like a know-it-all (even though I'm sure you've had enough experience!). A kid wants your advice, not preaching or judging. Be a FRIEND at this time with your interests as a PARENT.
2006-11-12 16:07:36 · answer #2 · answered by ♥Rabeka♦ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Best to just let him know that you are concerned and that you love him unconditionally and are there for him to talk too when and if he ever needs. Don't harp at the poor kid or threaten him to tell you what is going on as it will only alIenate him. But let him know that as a parent your concerned and that there is nothing that he will say that will upset you, regardless of what it is!!! Good luck with this situation. It may be nothing as kids this age often build mountains out of molehills or it may be something very serious ie: him being bullied or having pregnant girlfriend. Regardless of what it is if he is able to communicate it to you then you must be the adult and not act surprised or disappointed as you told him that you would remain open minded. Good luck.
2006-11-12 16:02:32 · answer #3 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Avail yourself to listen when he is ready to communicate. Don't belittle or judge him and by all means...don't try to force the subject out of him...let him come to you on his own terms. Open your mind a bit and give him the chance to open his heart to you. Communicate to him that though you may have been closed off to him in the past , you have grown to see him as the adult he is becoming and would like to let him know that you are capable now of keeping his confidence and are prepared to be the parent as well as the friend he needs. Be consistent and keep every promise you make to him...by not letting him down in any sense of the word...he'll be more likely to open up to you.
2006-11-12 16:01:57 · answer #4 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow when you no let me no...
My 14 year old is the quietest kid I have ever been around. Everyday I get him and his brother up to go to school (if I do not do this the 14 year old wont go to school).
When they come home I am here as well. I give them a hug and say how did school go. Sometimes he will tell me if I am going to get a phone call from school or he will tell me of a great story from school or on the bus.
I think it is the age. My oldest is 16 and he was distancing himself at 14 so??
2006-11-12 16:00:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I have that same problem with my 14yr. old son. I have learned to find things he likes and talk about that and work my way up to the important things. My son has Crohns Disease and he does not talk about what he is going through in his life because he thinks men don't talk about the pain and hurting the go through in life.
2006-11-12 15:59:10 · answer #6 · answered by buddy95 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this has always worked for me. See what his favorite pass time is, and do it together with him. Play baseball, football, listen to music he likes, whatever gets him in the mood to open up. Share some laughs together, and then ask, plain and clear what you are worried about.
Trust is something you earn with time, and it's the most essential tool you'll have in raising a teenager, but it's never too late to start.
2006-11-12 15:59:26 · answer #7 · answered by MICHAEL G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I used to play video games with my son when he was that age and eventually he'd forget I was his mom and start chattering away about a problem he was having as if I were just one of his buddies.
2006-11-12 15:58:56 · answer #8 · answered by Kodoku Josei 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
please start off by letting him know that he can come to you with anything anytime and no matter how bad he thinks he's screwed up you may not always like what he Doe's but nothing absolutely nothing in this world can ever make you not love him let him know you know your not gonna be buddies but you will listen and if he ever comes to you and is honest with you the repercussions of his actions will be almost non existent
good luck feel free to e mail me jane_ doe 89110 @ yahoo. com no spaces
2006-11-12 16:02:04 · answer #9 · answered by your name here 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe try having him help you with a "problem" you are having, thus allowing lines of communication to open...just a thought
2006-11-12 15:58:35 · answer #10 · answered by bin_rockin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋