My husband and I have been divorced for a little over a year now, but he stills comes to my place and wants sex with me, I recently (last Friday)found out that he is seeing a married women, and he keeps telling me not to say anything that he was here or anything, and that he will call me, and i'm not to call or write or nothing to him. He says he loves me yet but i'm really starting to wonder. Recently I started seeing someone, and I don't want to see him anymore,I just want to be friends and thats it. How do I go about telling him that i'm not waiting around for him anymore. He can have his married girlfriend I don't care, but I dont want trouble when he see's me with my new boyfriend. Does anyone have any advice for me?
2006-11-12 07:53:47 · 34 answers · asked by Julie A 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sounds like a mess to me. Why are you waiting around for him? He is your ex right? Unless you have children, sounds like you aren't good for each other and should cut off the relationship and get on with your lives. There is a point where you NEED to let go...
2006-11-12 07:57:39 · answer #1 · answered by ~jenjen~ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk about having your cake and eating it too. You also bake the cake for him. You two divorced for a reason and being together for sex was not one of them. What were you thinking? He has this married woman on one side and you on the other, of course he wouldnt want neither of you to know or meet each other. You should have never started this in the first place especially since he wasnt good enough to stay married to. Tell him the truth now that its over. Whatever happens after that is up to him but I dont think he will remain just friends after a set up like this. I just hope you learned a valuable lesson from this so you dont get in a bind like this again. Good luck
2006-11-12 08:34:31 · answer #2 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife says to tell him simply that you are seeing someone else, and that if he wanted and loved you, he should have stayed with you and worked out the marriage. She says to tell your new beau about this, if you like and care for him, so he will be aware of the situation. Your ex is USING you for sexual gratification, and you should tell him to take a hike, and be ready for the realization that you just cannot be friends anymore. She says if he doesn't or won't accept that, and wants to cause trouble for you, have a restraining order put into effect, and maybe then you will be able to move on with your life. She says that letting him come back and use you after the divorce was a big mistake, and now is the time to correct that.
2006-11-12 08:07:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You really need to tell him no when he comes over. Make it clear to him that you do not want to be with him anymore and that you have already moved on. He is only using you, because if he really cared about you in the first place, even as a friend, he would not have put you in this kind of position. If he really still loves you like he says he does, he would not be seeing any one else on the side and he would make you a priority to win back.
2006-11-12 09:07:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not give in to temptation believing that you want him back because there is nobody out there for you. Give yourself a chance to start anew.
If the creep is cheating with a cheating married woman, it seems to me you would not want to mess yourself up with that kind of dirty affair.
You dont tell him more than once. You say, we are no longer a couple, I no longer love you or desire you. Thank you have a nice life, and good night and good luck.
2006-11-12 07:56:40 · answer #5 · answered by dansza 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont forget, your divorced for a reason. Remind yourself of that everytime you think about giving into him. Just be upfront with him though. Tell him your moving on since he definatly is. And he is just lucky your not going to his married girlfriend to tell her the truth! Be strong! And as far as him catching you with your boyfriend? Your an adult and can date whom you please. Let him know from the beginning your with someone else, that way he doesnt freak when he sees you two together. good luck! : )
2006-11-12 08:03:39 · answer #6 · answered by htmama 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You obviously got divorced for a reason. Usually divorce means that you are going to start a new life without your spouse. Just be firm with him and tell him you don't want to see him anymore.
2006-11-12 11:26:39 · answer #7 · answered by Maggie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to move on and take care of your life.In the normal course he should have nothing to do with you after divorce. You have to confront him and just tell him. If he is considerate and wants you to be happy he will not come in your way. If he persists you have to be blunt with him. Threaten him you will sound his married girl friend if he acts funny.
2006-11-12 07:59:20 · answer #8 · answered by openpsychy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
from wife to bit on the side,,he has it all doesnt he. just call him and say its been good up till now but you just dont want to be in the same position as before,,you ended it with him because it was over,,you now realize it still is.what can he say really? he is in the wrong not you and you dont need this secrecy hanging over your head,,why should you be his cover as he cheats on someone who is cheating on their husband,,it is a tangled web he has woven and you have nothing to gain by staying in this position.
2006-11-12 07:59:29 · answer #9 · answered by lex 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Change the locks...change your phone number...and never speak to him again! Concentrate on your new relationship. Your ex just wants his cake and eat it too! He's a sleaze and you are smarter than to waste anymore time on him!! Just tell your new man that you have a loser ex and you are doing your best to avoid him and don't mention it again (you don't want to freak out the new guy).
2006-11-12 07:58:14 · answer #10 · answered by Redawg J 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋