Best birth control for 13 year old daughter?

Question

My daughter told me yesterday she IS sexually active.While i did explain how bad this can be and longterm effects,if she is having sex i want her to be safe.Any recommendations on what type is the most efective for a 13 year old?

I understand abstinece is key but at this point she isnt really focused on listing to me so..yes i do undersatnd

Answer 1

I realize that she is a teenager and by this time, you have a lot less control over her than you did when she was younger. However, she doesn't have her own money, her own car, her own place to live, her own meals, monetary ownership of her own toys such as iPods, TVs, computers. You have a lot of control and you can basically say you have a curfew, you can't go out with boys and "Not until you are older."

She is way too young to be making decisions about sex. I remember how dumb I was when I was 13 and thank god I didn't do anything that could potentially put me at risk of ruining the rest of my life, like contract AIDS or get pregnant (yes, I think pregnancy at 13 could lead to that).

If you two don't have a close enough bond to discuss this issue, that you are the parent and have learned from your own mistakes and this is best for her, and if your control is limited so you think she'll still do it or run away--make her get the shot and go to a psychologist/psychiatrist. Sexual promiscuity and such risky behavior at this age could be a sign of hypersexuality (precursor to bipolar), post traumatic stress disorder, depression, drug use and any number of things. If you can't work it out by talking to her, you probably need professional intervention to make sure things don't spiral further out of control.

Answer 2

so. like several other posters, I also believe that abstinence is obviously the best thing. However, in your defense, and many other parents', each child has that decision to make on their own, no matter WHAT you teach them. Firstly, I'd explain (in my personal life anyway) that sex is appropriate for marriage only. However, she needs to understand that a pill can protect her from getting pregnant, but not from STDs. If nothing else, the norplant is good. This would provide several years worth of protection. I'm very against it, however, I have a 13 year old and truthfully...I have NO CLUE what I would do should she come tell me she's having sex, besides have heart failure!!!! I guess make sure she understands the FULL consuquences of her actions, and then help her to be safe...with the understanding you are NOT happy about it.

Answer 3

While I do agree that she shouldn't be having sex at all, the point is that she is, and therein lies your question. The chances of "horrific" side effects from the pill are small. Granted, I was 17, but I was on the pill when I became active. If you can ensure she's taking them every day, they're MUCH safer birth control than condoms alone (not to mention it's impossible to monitor whether or not she's using the condoms-yikes). I also knew girls on the shot, and they were fine, too. Either way, she needs to have an exam, and the doc will be able to explain to you both which he/she feels will work best for your daughter. Of course, condoms are still vitally important for preventing the spread of STD's, and your daughter needs to be explicitly aware of this also.
Good luck.
**Putting your dauther on BC is NOT giving her permission to have sex (she obviously didn't ask for it in the first place), it's you helping to make sure she's protected from an unwanted pregnancy. You obviously know this. Also, the fact that your daughter confided this information to you in the first place means she trusts you, and that's great.

Answer 4

Your daughter shouldn't be on birth control pills because the side effects can be horrific. On the other hand, she should use condoms and any other protection. Try talking a little more to her about the risks, and that the only way to be totally safe is to be abstinent. Remember that overall, you are the parent and that sometimes it may be hard to tell your daughter what to do and what not to do. Sex is not meant for thirteen year olds, their bodies aren't ready, i don't think she should be sexually active, but then again im not her parent. JUst remember that she is a child. I think it is great that you and your daughter are so comfortable with each other for her to be telling you that she sexually active. You must be good at what you do. Overall, i don't suggest you use birth control pills, other than that i suggest you ask a doctor.

Answer 5

I would recommend the depo shot. You go every 3 months and get a tiny prick. You really cannot count on a 13 year old to be responsible enough to take a pill everyday...I even forget sometimes. Once you get off of it it takes a little while to get pregnant but at 13 that shouldn't be a concern.

I hope this helps. I went on it at 16 and a half when my (now husband) and I started to have sex and I used that, the patch and a few different pills and I def. liked the shot the best. Its easy, convient and fool proof. It will put your mind at ease also. Good luck.

Answer 6

You might think I'm old fashioned or something, but how about telling her NOT to have sex? Even if she gets on birth control it may not work. Birth control is NOT 100% effective. Thirteen year olds don't need to be having sex. I lost my virginity at 17 but I wasn't still living in my mother's house. If you're going to allow her to have sex anyway, recommend condoms. You're stuck with a baby for 18 years; you're stuck with aids for life.

Do whatever you have to so you don't end up like my aunt. My aunt is in her early 30s. Her daughter became pregnant at 14. My aunt is going to be raising another baby.

Answer 7

Well, find out who the partner is and then have him arrested. It is NOT ok for a 13yr old to be having sex. I am not sure why everyone assumes that 13yrs is a great time to have babies, contract AIDS, Herpes, and all those other great STDs.

If you feel that you cannot control her, then I suggest some counseling for the family.

Exactly who is having sex with your baby? Is her partner mature enough to handle the responsibilities associated with bringing up children? If he is then he is a child predator.

This must be stopped now. No, no contraception, instead some community work with a homeless shelter and some rape counseling.

Answer 8

If she's forgetfull the pill may not be best, perhaps the shot would be best. She should talk with a doctor to come up with the whats best for her. In addition to female birth control insure condoms are available as back up and help prevent STD's.

Answer 9

For someone her age, I would suggest the use of condoms. Not only do they prevent pregnancy, but they protect against STDs. Just make sure that your daughter knows how to use them correctly. Make sure that she insists that her partner/boyfriend uses them EVERYTIME, even if he doesn't want to. It is her body and she has the right to protect it.

Birth control pills and patches can have side effects, especially in adolescents. You should keep that in mind.

Answer 10

abstinence, the only safe sex for a 13 year old.
Maybe let her stay the day/night with a teen mother to see what it's like, or possibly a person with aids could explain it a little bit better. A lot of 13 year old girls do just the oppisite of what their moms want.