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Question

i posted a question stating my husband thinks i cheated on him because i didnt tell him about a few phone calls between me and an ex. i couldnt go back to put more info in, but i HAD a few texts and an email from a male who i do not have feelings for never did never will,but because they were males, i was afraid to tell my husband about it. i know i was wrong to lie to him and now he thinks i cheated beacause i lied. i never lied to him before and he knows that, when he hurt me i forgave him and worked on our relationship. i do not want to use that as an excuse to take me back, but i didnt cheat. i love him and want this to work but he will not return my calls. im afraid it really is over but i dont wat it to end because of something he thinks i did. i dont know what to do about this.he really is a great person and i didnt mean to hurt him. i never did before. does he really think i could do that? will he come back?

Answer 1

Sounds like he is convinced that you cheated. How would you feel if it were the other way around. You might feel the same. Maybe with time he can trust you again. Good Luck!

Answer 2

Sounds like to me he was looking for a way to get rid of you already and you gave him the perfect opportunity.

I don't mean to sound harsh but if he really loved you he would be willing to give it another shot. He would have did a little investigating on his own to get to the truth.

You say that he hurt you once before and you forgave him right?
Well was it because he cheated on you?

If it was maybe he has still been playing in that area. Maybe he already had you replaced with a new girl in mind. And he didn't want to tell you. So when he found out about your lies to him that gave him a good reason to get rid of you so he didn't have to expose his to you.

I'm not saying that, that is what is going on but if I was you I would check it out!!!!!!!

You know where he lives go pay him a little visit. And try to explain what really happened. If he ever really loved you at all he would give you a chance to explain and listen.

Maybe you should do some investigating on him. See if he has a new friend or not. You just might find that he was the decietful one long before you were. And that he wants to put the blame on you so that he doesn't have to fell bad for ending it.

If you find that he hasn't been then by all means pursue him. Call him, go see him, go to places that he goes and run into him, not to the point of stalking though. At some point and time he is gonna have to listen to what you have to say, but that doesn't mean that things will change for you.

How did this other guy get your number if you didn't give it? And why didn't you get your number changed if it was an ex and he already had it.

You may have not cheated with this guy but you were communicating with him. An ex. How would you feel if your husband was communicating with one of his ex's that he may have had sex with before he met you?

I believe that you wouldn't like that at all. Even if he told you it was just friendly talk you would get jealous and think the worse because he had, had sex with her before.

You would be thinking what could they possibley have to talk about since they aren't together any more. And the sex thing would stick in your head. Even if it was innocent talk. You would start thinking that they were meeting up and having sex behind your back.

Why? Because he kept the calls quite from you. He hid the fact that they were talking so you didn't get mad.

You should have just been honest with him when you got the first call. And you should have told your ex that you weren't trying to be mean but that you were married now and couldn't be his friend like you once was. You should have asked him to never call you again. And then if he did you should have got your number changed.

Your husband thinks that you cheated becasue you lied to him about the calls. You hid that from him so now he is wondering what else you have hidden. He may even be thinking that you have lied to him all along.

Just try to keep calling, and try to keep meeting up with him. He will eventually listen. And maybe his heart will open back up for you and you can resume your life. But you could have hurt him so badly that he will never trust you again.

If he gives things with you a second shot do me and your self a favor loose all the ex's numbers and change yours.

Good luck I hope things work out for you!!!!!

Answer 3

When you say, " when he hurt me I forgave him", what exactly did your husband do. Because if he cheated on you, then your marriage is already. It sounds like there are trust issues to resolve in your relationship. Sometimes guys just need time to cool off to reevaulate everything that is going on. Id say give him some time alone, just a couple of days. If he still thinks you cheated on him, and cant trust you, then maybe he is using this as an excuse to get out of the marriage. If he really loved you, he'd beileve you.

Answer 4

You are in a hard situation. When he hurt you did he cheat? As a man thinking your significant other is with somebody else it is a hard thing for a man to get over. We can't get over the fact that someone else may please you better than we have. Give him some time to get the nerve to ask you what is going on.
On the other hand it could be a reason to be with another person, and say you cheated on him so he cheated on you. Either way not sitting down and talking it out with you is wrong. Good luck

Answer 5

first be calm..think of this as an exam for your relationship..if you really didn't cheat on him you are not guilty! trust is the most important thing in a relationship..would you like to be married to a man who has no trust in you, or whose trust is so fragile..? i understand your not telling all these to your husband..because you didn't want to lose him..this is so pure and clear..he is not just your bf he is supposed to be your other half in life..maybe you can write a letter explaining the situation....don't go over him too much.. stay calm and confident..don't feel guilty anymore cos' guilt has a smell which can be felt from miles away..give him some time to think...you need some one who trusts you and forgives you more than any one in the world..so this is your test for him also..if he is your other half..he will find the right way and come back to you...but if he is not..he doesn't deserve you..both endings will be adventageus for you..

Answer 6

If you've done your best to let him know the truth, hoping that he believes you he will make his mind up. You just have to sit back and wait. He seems very insecure for some reason because of the jealousy about the text messages. Try to work out why. Not much more you can do i'm afraid.

Answer 7

First put the shoe on the other foot.Second think about what s going on in his head and why he feels the way he does.Third talk to him and try to reassure him nothing is going on.If possible go back and pull up the old e-mails to prove what was said.Fourth be understanding of how he feels.He didn't ask for this shock and its going to take sometime to heal.You are going to have to do alot of work to regain his trust.

Answer 8

Okay, first you need to stop keeping things from. Second, explain to him what happened in a letter and tell him that you love him very much and would do anything to keep him in your life. Accept the fact that you screwed up and if he doesn't take you back then it basically means that he already did something that made him forget about you. Good luck.

Answer 9

it could be that your man is just using this as an excuse to break up for a while or permanently.

if not he has serious trust issues. the fact that you felt you couldn't tell him says that you knew this already!

you say he hurt you, question is, is he still messing around and, is his anger about these calls a reflection of his guilty feelings.

if you have a relationship to salvage then he needs to want to sort it out as much as you. he knows you've tried to contact him. now the balls in his court to call you.

i hope it works out for u

Answer 10

Once trust is broken regardless of which party did it, its hard to get back, you spend so much time wondering if they are still lying, cheating, whatever. If he can't get past this then maybe the marriage was more important to you than him. If he is who you truly want then you must convince him, not us that you were faithful. best of Luck