I met my wife when she was 14 and i was 16 we have been together since. I am now 23 and she is 20(almost 21) we now have a son which is 3. I just got out of the military(no deployments) we lived far away from famliy though. Now since we got back 5 months ago whe have been arguing. I am admitting I have been controlling and need some work. It is my fault she left I do blame myself. But now how do I get her back. She told me on monday that i had changed everything she asked and that she still wasn't happy. She is now gone and is getting an apartment(less than a week) I can hear the hostility in her voice when i talk to her. What do I do to get her back and make this right.
1. There is absolutely no other guy
2. Married for 3 years w/ one son
3. I know she loves me deep down inside
Is Six months(the lease on the apartment) too long to wait to get her back?
2006-11-12 06:17:54 · 9 answers · asked by Justin N 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Try re-dating her. You two need to learn what drew you together again.
Also, thank you for trying, especially with a child involved. Most would just give up and say next.....
2006-11-12 06:21:32 · answer #1 · answered by Common Sense 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Loving you doesn't necessarily mean she wants to be with you as a romantic partner anymore. This may be something you'll just have to accept. Ask her if she will attend couples counseling with you, to see if y'all can put things back on track...
...but from what you said, that she said after you had made changes she requested, she still wasn't happy, it may well be that your relationship has run its course.
People grow and change over time, and not always in the same way or at the same rate...perhaps her path is simply taking her elsewhere now...
Hopefully, if you two do not reunite, you can continue to both love and support your child and each other...even as your lives go in separate directions...
Re: the six month lease...that's enough time for someone to move on and have a whole 'nother life...if you want her back talk to her about counseling, but also be realistic and realize if she isn't interested, you need to be prepared to walk your own path alone (at least for a while)...
2006-11-12 14:23:57 · answer #2 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your wife has matured, and is establishing her own identity apart from yours.
You should both use this time to reassess your priorities in life and make sure they are compatible.
If you try to force the situation you will only alienate her more.
Be attentive, but not overbearing. Offer to take care of your son so she has time to do things.
Offer to participate in counselling if she wants, and I'll bet she won't want to right away.
As people mature, they'll develop their independence and want to make their own decisions. You'll have to recognize her as an equal partner in the marriage (should it continue). You'll have to respect her opinions, and input.
You should agree on what you each want to accomplish and support each other in those endeavors.
Good luck to you. I hope that things work out for you.
2006-11-12 14:29:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being controlling will drive anyone away seek professional help, you have a child to take care of now, if you want your family back start looking at things from her eyes, let her calm down first then you approach her if you are both angry it will solve nothing, romance her give her some tender loving care and understanding, that is what she needs right now.
2006-11-12 14:30:49 · answer #4 · answered by lara 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im sorry to hear about perdicument...but listen to a female who has been there with a very controlling husband and we were togather for 16years we met at 14 yrs old. and yes we have children. once a women gets to the point where she tells u and tells u and there is no change..honestly love dies slowly but it does. People dont like to b controlled.. we had parents when we were children we dont expect to have one when we r married. she needs her space.. dont crowd her let her have her freedome and to feel independent... maybe if ur lucky she'll come back but dont hold ur breathe. i left and am happy now than i have ever been in my life. im my own person. strong and independent and thats what she needs to feel,
2006-11-12 14:45:33 · answer #5 · answered by wildspirit1313 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What it is going to take is that you truly get rid of you need for controlling, and are able to prove it to her, I wish you well as this will be one of the most difficult things you will ever attempt, but it can be done
2006-11-12 14:23:01 · answer #6 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if there is love there then six months is moments in time. it is time for you two to build the communication and friendship.. as they are the foundation for any relationship. I wish you the very best and hope it works out.
2006-11-12 14:24:58 · answer #7 · answered by Shalla 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love something, let it go, if it comes back then it is worth keeping.
2006-11-12 14:21:12 · answer #8 · answered by inquisitive 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
we are the same i'll tell you somthing i beleave because i'm moslem but we always in a harry ,
leave it to the god because god decides what he want to do
2006-11-12 14:23:04 · answer #9 · answered by ahmedaboelzahab 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋