I have been with my husband for two years. We don't have any children, and we both have very good stable jobs. I want to have a baby already, it feels like the right time, but he says that we can wait a little longer. I am starting to have doubts about wether he is EVER going to be ready to have kids. I love him probably more than I love myself, but this decision is really messing with my mind.
Any thoughts on how I should handle this situation?
2006-11-12 06:03:09 · 13 answers · asked by 2pretty4u 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Mt husband was the same way. Just trust him, if he thinks you should wait longer, wait longer. Both of you should want to have the baby, if he doesn't and you get pregnant on purpose, he will be upset a little. He probably wants kids, but just he is waiting for your financial situation to be perfect. maybe save a little more money. babies cost money and are a huge responsibility. Ask him to give you a time frame. That's what idid with my husband and now we have reached that time frame and we are going to be parents. A marriage is about 2 people and what they want, not what one person wants.
2006-11-12 06:20:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk some more with your husband. Children are wonderful, but they require a lot of really hard work and if your husband is not 100% with you on the idea, then I would leave it for a bit. You're only together for 2 years so far, so maybe your should enjoy each other for a little bit before having a baby. Find out when your husband thinks he would be ready to start a family, because if you have an idea when, then maybe it won't mess with your mind so much.
2006-11-12 06:14:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that you want a baby very badly, but, if he wants, you'll be willing to wait a few months. (or whatever time frame you choose. I would not suggest going over a year.) Come to an agreement as to when you should get pregnant. Also, consider why he doesn't want a child just yet. Even if you have the money, a child needs much more than that. He/She needs your time and energy. They need to be fed and clothed and have their dipers changed about 5-10 times a day! Plus, if you end up staying at home with the baby (which you can count on for the first few months at least) then you won't be bringing in money. Can you survive with a child on just your husbands income? If you're ready to do all that, then you're ready to get pregnant. I wish you all the best!
2006-11-12 06:09:08 · answer #3 · answered by S. Elizabeth 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He may just be nervous or just enjoying time with you alone. Just remember that once the little one comes along there is not any more sleeping or time alone. I know that wanting a child is a big deal but make sure both of you are ready. If he wants one more year of having you all to himself let him, make the most of it and enjoy. You can never get enough practice on how to make the baby. Also little nugs help too, like bring a friends baby over or seeing a little league game. He will come along when he starts seeing what he is missing out on.
2006-11-12 06:18:20 · answer #4 · answered by adarmbruster 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should just ask him in a straightforward way. dont do anything like dropping hints or being subtle.
If he is still undecided, try to take him to family gatherings (easy with upcoming holidays) and gauge his reaction to the children at the gathering. If he interacts with them then someday he will be ready but he is scared to make such a commintment so soon and if he makes comments like "kids are too much.." or something similar, then he definelty not ready and might not want kids.
hope it works out for you.
2006-11-12 06:07:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why? Do you feel that it is important for you as a woman to have a child? Do you have others in your family who are seeing if you will enter the baby competition? If you and your husband agree it's time then it's time. But no surprises.
2006-11-12 06:08:38 · answer #6 · answered by Peloubet 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Has he mentioned why he wants to wait to have children? If its a financial reason then, there could be benefits to waiting but, if its just the fact that he's unsure, talk to him about it. Children are wonderful but, they're a drain financially AND emotionally. Try just having a conversation with him about why you want a child, why you want to have it now, and why he wants to wait.
2006-11-12 06:05:39 · answer #7 · answered by irishgypsy88 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should probablly wait a while until he says he's ready. As a married couple it should be a joint decion. There is plenty of time, enjoy each other! When the time is right it will happen.
2006-11-12 06:08:20 · answer #8 · answered by tinch 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if your getting close to 35 and he still wants to wait i would get worried you need to talk to him and ask him what is he afraid about ........explain to him that after 35 years of age women that get pregnant have a higher chance of having difficulties in there pregnancy.........and if your planning to have more than one this is also a problem because you don't want to have one right after the other ........talk your heart out and let him know how much it means to you to start a family with him and that you need for it to happen sooner than later .............good luck
2006-11-12 06:19:16 · answer #9 · answered by mari 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's not onboard with the plan, I wouldn't do it then.
I mean, what if he hates the idea so much that he leaves you, and leaves the child fatherless?
Tell him what you are thinking - that's very important.
2006-11-12 06:04:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋